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Old 10-03-2011, 11:18 AM   #1
mkporter
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Here's the scenario- You are sightseeing in beautiful downtown Denver, and you consider yourself something of a fine photographer. One of the shots you take is a wide angle shot of several buildings, as well as a grimy alley where a pristine Mercedes S600 is parked. You think it makes an excellent study in contrast, and really speaks to the contradictions of the vast wealth in our society existing side-by-side with heart-breaking poverty.

When you get home and download your pictures to start processing them, you bring up this picture, and as you enlarge it, you notice there are a couple of figures just barely noticeable 20 ft from the Mercedes in the alley. Fortunately, you spent your last bonus at work to buy a Leica S2 with 37 megapixels. It was definitely a splurge, but you earned it. You start to zoom in on these two figures, and you gasp as you see that one of the two men is wearing aviator sunglasses and a ridiculous knee length fur coat. A lifetime Bronco fan, you know that there is only one man that this could be. Now, insanely curious, you continue examining the picture further. The two men are clearly exchanging a large fur coat and a briefcase. Okay, well no big deal, Bowlen is just buying another fur coat, right? Maybe it's something not totally legal like monkey fur or something, whatever.

But then you notice something a little off about the jacket. It kind of looks like the jacket is made with many small flaps of fur, almost like it's made from ... oh ... my ... god. The rumors must be true.... sure enough, on closer examination you see that the other man's shirt is embroidered with "Puppy-Ear Fur Jackets, Unlimited."

Enraged, you print the picture, and race to Dove Valley, and demand to see Bowlen. You finally manage to fight your way in, and you throw the picture on his desk. Bowlen hangs his head for a moment, and then looks up a says, "Name your price." You respond instantly, "Put Tebow in. No more Kyle." Bowlen hangs his head again, "I can't." You are stunned. "What do you mean? It's your team!" Bowlen's voice gets very low and pained, "Orton has a picture that is even worse. It involves Peyton Hillis, a vat of Mayonnaise, Laura McDaniels, and me wearing a raider's cheerleading outfit. Why do you think he is still starting? We had to call off the trade to Miami because he wouldn't give up the picture. You can make any other schematic or player personnel change to the team, name it."

What do you do?

tl;dr:
What schematic or player personnel change would you make to the team, not involving our QBs?
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:24 AM   #2
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Here's a couple of my thoughts:
-Take Dawkins out on obvious passing downs. Let's see what we have in Carter.
-Swap Franklin and Beadles. Seems like they are both out of position. Beadles more than Franklin.
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:41 AM   #3
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Nice. How is Josh enjoying raising lil Hillis anyway?
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:45 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mkporter View Post
Here's the scenario- You are sightseeing in beautiful downtown Denver, and you consider yourself something of a fine photographer. One of the shots you take is a wide angle shot of several buildings, as well as a grimy alley where a pristine Mercedes S600 is parked. You think it makes an excellent study in contrast, and really speaks to the contradictions of the vast wealth in our society existing side-by-side with heart-breaking poverty.

When you get home and download your pictures to start processing them, you bring up this picture, and as you enlarge it, you notice there are a couple of figures just barely noticeable 20 ft from the Mercedes in the alley. Fortunately, you spent your last bonus at work to buy a Leica S2 with 37 megapixels. It was definitely a splurge, but you earned it. You start to zoom in on these two figures, and you gasp as you see that one of the two men is wearing aviator sunglasses and a ridiculous knee length fur coat. A lifetime Bronco fan, you know that there is only one man that this could be. Now, insanely curious, you continue examining the picture further. The two men are clearly exchanging a large fur coat and a briefcase. Okay, well no big deal, Bowlen is just buying another fur coat, right? Maybe it's something not totally legal like monkey fur or something, whatever.

But then you notice something a little off about the jacket. It kind of looks like the jacket is made with many small flaps of fur, almost like it's made from ... oh ... my ... god. The rumors must be true.... sure enough, on closer examination you see that the other man's shirt is embroidered with "Puppy-Ear Fur Jackets, Unlimited."

Enraged, you print the picture, and race to Dove Valley, and demand to see Bowlen. You finally manage to fight your way in, and you throw the picture on his desk. Bowlen hangs his head for a moment, and then looks up a says, "Name your price." You respond instantly, "Put Tebow in. No more Kyle." Bowlen hangs his head again, "I can't." You are stunned. "What do you mean? It's your team!" Bowlen's voice gets very low and pained, "Orton has a picture that is even worse. It involves Peyton Hillis, a vat of Mayonnaise, Laura McDaniels, and me wearing a raider's cheerleading outfit. Why do you think he is still starting? We had to call off the trade to Miami because he wouldn't give up the picture. You can make any other schematic or player personnel change to the team, name it."

What do you do?

tl;dr:
What schematic or player personnel change would you make to the team, not involving our QBs?
I'd just get another freakin' camera!
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:47 AM   #5
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The Broncos sucktitude is creating a cottage industry of entertaining and creative threads.

That, my friends, is what I would call a silver lining!
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:48 AM   #6
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-Sign that Colquitt fellow to an extension!

-I'm thinking of a word, and it starts with Chad Mustard!
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:51 AM   #7
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Bring back George Foster to protect Orton's blindside.
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:52 AM   #8
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-Sign that Colquitt fellow to an extension!

-I'm thinking of a word, and it starts with Chad Mustard!
Somewhere in the world, Hotrod just had an organism
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:56 AM   #9
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Somewhere in the world, Hotrod just had an organism
An organism, indeed!
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:02 PM   #10
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What's wrong with a puppy jacket anyways? Michael Vick could be wearing one into Canton.
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:03 PM   #11
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Lulz.
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:12 PM   #12
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I'd bring in some competition for Colquitt.
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Old 10-03-2011, 12:51 PM   #13
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Did anyone else read this, holding your breath because you thought the coat was going to have something to do with baby Seals?

Thank the gods it didn't. I would have had a hard time supporting Bowlen then.
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:37 PM   #14
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Trade the farm for Foneco
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:44 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mkporter View Post
Here's a couple of my thoughts:
-Take Dawkins out on obvious passing downs. Let's see what we have in Carter.
-Swap Franklin and Beadles. Seems like they are both out of position. Beadles more than Franklin.
This is what a coach does, not a GM.
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Old 10-03-2011, 01:45 PM   #16
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I'd ask him to sell the team. He obviously can't afford to make us competitive.
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Old 10-03-2011, 02:09 PM   #17
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wonder if this was the other guy
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:11 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smiling Assassin27 View Post
This is what a coach does, not a GM.
Not really the point, but yes, you are correct. This wasn't really meant to be a discussion on the relative roles of the coach and GM. It was more, "you get to change one (non Orton) thing on the team, what do you do?"
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:18 PM   #19
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I'd request Bowlen cede majority ownership of the Broncos to me. Orton loses leverage and his ass is on the first thing rolling out of town. I would also request a copy of the picture of Hillis/mayo/whatever the F and photoshop it. The shopped photo (of Hillis being fisted by a raider cheerleading outfit wearing Bowlen) would be sent to Hillis with a note "demand a trade back to Denver ASAP or this winds up on every front page in the country".

That would be but the beginning.

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Old 10-03-2011, 03:50 PM   #20
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I'd request Bowlen cede majority ownership of the Broncos to me. Orton loses leverage and his ass is on the first thing rolling out of town. I would also request a copy of the picture of Hillis/mayo/whatever the F and photoshop it. The shopped photo (of Hillis being fisted by a raider cheerleading outfit wearing Bowlen) would be sent to Hillis with a note "demand a trade back to Denver ASAP or this winds up on every front page in the country".

That would be but the beginning.

Sounds good. Maybe we could talk Reuben Droughns out of retirement, too.
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:50 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mkporter View Post
Here's a couple of my thoughts:
-Take Dawkins out on obvious passing downs. Let's see what we have in Carter.
-Swap Franklin and Beadles. Seems like they are both out of position. Beadles more than Franklin.
funny idea on the Tebow front. he got in for 1 play which was the same sorry ass draw play that went for a loss. every time he lines up as a QB the defense stacks the box and waits for the run. let him throw the ****ing ball.

there were 9 defensive players on the line when Tebow came in. i understand he isn't the most polished QB around, but he completed better than 65% of his passes in college and i think would be capable of a short pass play. Lloyd or Decker in a 1 on 1 is a mismatch in our favor. either of them are capable of making the 1st man miss and with 8 or 9 in the box they would have no one else to need to make miss. that is the recipe for a big play or even 6 points.

an intelligent OC would have seen that and on the next drive brought Tebow back out.
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:52 PM   #22
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funny idea on the Tebow front. he got in for 1 play which was the same sorry ass draw play that went for a loss. every time he lines up as a QB the defense stacks the box and waits for the run. let him throw the ****ing ball.

there were 9 defensive players on the line when Tebow came in. i understand he isn't the most polished QB around, but he completed better than 65% of his passes in college and i think would be capable of a short pass play. Lloyd or Decker in a 1 on 1 is a mismatch in our favor. either of them are capable of making the 1st man miss and with 8 or 9 in the box they would have no one else to need to make miss. that is the recipe for a big play or even 6 points.

an intelligent OC would have seen that and on the next drive brought Tebow back out.
So you would demand an intelligent OC? I like that idea.
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Old 10-03-2011, 03:53 PM   #23
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Sounds good. Maybe we could talk Reuben Droughns out of retirement, too.
I'd like an 1100 yard rusher, wouldnt you?


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Old 10-03-2011, 04:00 PM   #24
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I'd like an 1100 yard rusher, wouldnt you?


I'd take one, although McGahee is on pace for 1000 so far this year, even after barely playing against Oakland. So you may get your wish anyway.
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Old 10-03-2011, 04:08 PM   #25
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Every 1st and 10 we run Orton up the gut
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