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Old 08-17-2018, 02:47 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by Hercules Rockefeller View Post
As someone who actually practices Family Law, do not use the Orange mane for advice, your wife could use this as proof of insanity and have you commited. Some of the things people have said here would open you up to Contempt, at least in Colorado.

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Old 08-17-2018, 02:54 PM   #52
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Well from the OP, it looks like he full well knows that an attorney and a drawn out process awaits him.

What I would add is don't think it's a salvageable relationship, she bolted for a reason in her head, can't change that.

Get her off the cards, if you are the primary holder and she is just a card holder. That will seriously f up your credit if you just go cancelling that type of an account. Put holds on all the others if they aren't already maxed out

Never discuss any of this in front of the kids, they were priority one and they remain so. Bite your tongue, cheek, whatever.

Never say anything adverse about her around outside your inner circle.

Above all take care of yourself and know that every day from here on out is a small step to it getting better. It does
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Old 08-17-2018, 02:56 PM   #53
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Unless there is a big piece that we're missing, the whole surprise attack thing really chaps me. When two people spend 21 years doing something, they've each earned the right to get fair notice as to what is happening - especially as it pertains to their kids (instances of abuse being the exception).
Why decide to split the scene when it’s your kids birthday? Talk about ****ed up.
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Old 08-17-2018, 02:58 PM   #54
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I have more sympathy for people who stay married than I do for people who get divorced. Divorce is ****ing amazing man.
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Old 08-17-2018, 03:16 PM   #55
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Does your wife have a sister? If so, then go screw her. If not, then go get some strange somewhere.


Pay for sex. It's cheaper than having a wife.
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Old 08-17-2018, 03:21 PM   #56
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Also.. keep in mind you're asking for divorce advice on a football forum. I would take all this with a grain of salt and look up a forum specifically for divorce and you will probably find more experience and a broader range of opinions.
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Old 08-17-2018, 03:40 PM   #57
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hate to post this but there is some great ppl here that have very solid life experience and I've never done this before...

Bros after 21 years of working my tail off, this orange and blue mojave madman got pistol whipped. I came home from a days work, broncos cake in hand, ready to celebrate our sons 17th birthday to an empty home and wife and 4 boys gone.

I need the advice you wont get from atty that you would give your brother or close friend on how to handle it. She is seeking 10k, sole custody, child support and alimony. No drugs, No Cheating, No DWI's, No Crime.
This is exactly what I would tell my brother: Sorry man that sucks. You will hear some folks say work it out, give it a chance, etc. leaving the way she did I would caution you not to waste your time. She is gone - now protect yourself and help your kids work through the divorce.

The number one thing I would work on (after getting an attorney) is taking my boys out lunch or dinner and talking to them about the situation.
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Old 08-17-2018, 03:44 PM   #58
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I have more sympathy for people who stay married than I do for people who get divorced. Divorce is ****ing amazing man.
Do you know why divorces cost so much? Because they are worth it
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Old 08-17-2018, 03:56 PM   #59
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Do you know why divorces cost so much? Because they are worth it
Lol. https://youtu.be/L06ws41x2zc
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Old 08-17-2018, 05:47 PM   #60
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First wife and I got a divorce (married young, did it to get her medical benefits mostly, we both said we never wanted to get married).

Amicable split. She never asked for anything and I kept everything I owned. She took her stuff.

Still hook up from time to time. Worth exploring what happened to get her to this point, no point being mad or angry about it. You have the world at your fingertips now.

Get a lawyer, make sure you can see your kids. Tell her she can have that 10K lump sum or you can pay child support but not both.
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Old 08-17-2018, 05:56 PM   #61
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Unless there is a big piece that we're missing, the whole surprise attack thing really chaps me. When two people spend 21 years doing something, they've each earned the right to get fair notice as to what is happening - especially as it pertains to their kids (instances of abuse being the exception).

Not to be flippant, but after 21 years I think you'd know something was up. People are weird creatures of habit. If the habit changes you'd notice, wouldnt you?

And its always sad when a family disintegrates. There are always signs, and there is always more to the story than we are ever told. Mostly because the **** is embarassing.

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Old 08-17-2018, 05:56 PM   #62
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First step..... A few limes, some Silver Petron.....some salt and a bartender or good friend. Their job is just to listen.


Let it out.

Get it ALL out. The injustice. The rage. The pain. The hurt. The love.


Then focus on your healing. Forgiveness. First for yourself if need be (usually some form of it) then for her and the boys too if you feel it.

Be the best divorced dad you can be.

You can become a better man through this which will go a long way towards your future happiness.

Prayers brother.
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Old 08-17-2018, 05:59 PM   #63
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First step..... A few limes, some Silver Petron.....some salt and a bartender or good friend. Their job is just to listen.


Let it out.

Get it ALL out. The injustice. The rage. The pain. The hurt. The love.


Then focus on your healing. Forgiveness. First for yourself if need be (usually some form of it) then for her and the boys too if you feel it.

Be the best divorced dad you can be.

You can become a better man through this which will go a long way towards your future happiness.

Prayers brother.
Plan on repeating step one a few times or as many as it takes.
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Old 08-17-2018, 06:01 PM   #64
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Plan on repeating step one a few times or as many as it takes.

I'd also invest in a heavy bag and some good sparring gloves. Never hurts to beat the ever loving hell out of a heavy bag to the point of exhaustion to work out the rage.


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Old 08-17-2018, 06:21 PM   #65
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I'd also invest in a heavy bag and some good sparring gloves. Never hurts to beat the ever loving hell out of a heavy bag to the point of exhaustion to work out the rage.


Yep, tons of adrenaline from anger etc. plus just trying to “turn your head off” will best be remedied by exercise. Get some daily.
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Old 08-17-2018, 06:28 PM   #66
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Originally Posted by Vegas_Bronco View Post
hate to post this but there is some great ppl here that have very solid life experience and I've never done this before...

Bros after 21 years of working my tail off, this orange and blue mojave madman got pistol whipped. I came home from a days work, broncos cake in hand, ready to celebrate our sons 17th birthday to an empty home and wife and 4 boys gone.

I need the advice you wont get from atty that you would give your brother or close friend on how to handle it. She is seeking 10k, sole custody, child support and alimony. No drugs, No Cheating, No DWI's, No Crime.
Sorry to hear about this, my only advice is to do what other posters have already said when discussing the situation with your boys—take the high road, don’t bad mouth their mom. You can’t control what she says to them about you, so simply answer any questions you boys may have, and be honest. Admit your faults, ask for forgiveness, but yes, admit you were probably not a perfect husband and if you could go back in time and do some things differently, you would.

Trust me, your boys will respect you more for your humility and willingness to admit your faults. Assure them you will learn from past mistakes and be a better father to them for it.

I wish you the best
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Old 08-17-2018, 06:51 PM   #67
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Take care of your kids and don't give up your season ticket rights.
I'm on the wait list and I'd like to move up.
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Old 08-17-2018, 07:00 PM   #68
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Get a lawyer, keep your mouth shut, hire a PI and attempt to find out what is going on.

Something happened, it did not just start. Document everything, assume you are being recorded or documented if you talk to her.
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Old 08-17-2018, 07:02 PM   #69
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Not to be flippant, but after 21 years I think you'd know something was up. People are weird creatures of habit. If the habit changes you'd notice, wouldnt you?

And its always sad when a family disintegrates. There are always signs, and there is always more to the story than we are ever told. Mostly because the **** is embarassing.

I had a friend who figured out something was up with his wife because she always warmed up her car before she left and then just took off one day.

I wouldn't go his route of giving her everything and just wanting to be left alone though.
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Old 08-17-2018, 07:05 PM   #70
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Someone: "Hey guys, my Chevy Tahoe broke down and it might cost more to fix than get a new one. Any suggestions?"

The Orange Mane:

"Don't buy a Chevy!"
"I ride a bike!"
"Chevy sucks! I tell everyone I know they're evil and have no place on the road!"
"You should break the headlights on your car and blame a minority for vandalism"
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Old 08-17-2018, 07:05 PM   #71
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Not to be flippant, but after 21 years I think you'd know something was up.
I agree. While I can understand him being surprised that she left in that manner, I'm pretty sure that he knows exactly why she did it.

I was actually in a similar situation where I abruptly left. She didn't see it coming, but she couldn't claim to be shocked. lol
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Old 08-17-2018, 07:08 PM   #72
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Work out and eat well. This is the worst time to abuse yourself. Don't listen to those who say you should party and screw chicks or anything wild. Stay centered and as zen as possible. Things happen for a reason. Write in a journal or paint. And above all else, do whatever you can to keep your relationship with your kids positive. Sorry to see this, man. Life goes on, we have no choice.
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Old 08-17-2018, 08:19 PM   #73
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I agree. While I can understand him being surprised that she left in that manner, I'm pretty sure that he knows exactly why she did it.

I was actually in a similar situation where I abruptly left. She didn't see it coming, but she couldn't claim to be shocked. lol
I don't think we are getting the full story.
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Old 08-17-2018, 08:21 PM   #74
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Eros. Com has escorts
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Old 08-17-2018, 08:23 PM   #75
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Makes me thankful I can't get laid...
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