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#101 |
#CashMoneyScribe
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 41,024
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#102 |
Perennial Pro-bowler
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 759
Adopt-a-Bronco: Al Wilson |
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#103 |
UDFA
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Abu Dhabi
Posts: 6,535
Adopt-a-Bronco: Josey Jewell |
![]() So, so sorry to hear about this, my brother. PM me if things get dark, you’re not alone.
As others have said, it’s important to be a good person throughout all this.... the happiness and well-being of your children should be the main factor in all of your decisions right now. Even if she’s 100% wrong in some discussions, and you’re 100% right, be prepared to be the better person and concede for the sake of your family’s overall well-being. Stifle the urge to ‘win’ as much as you can, it will only lead to Pyrrhic victories in this situation. Being the kinder, more loving person will give you the victory, in the long run.... Last edited by BowlenBall; 08-18-2018 at 01:08 PM.. |
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#104 |
Just Drafted
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 15
Adopt-a-Bronco: None |
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#105 |
Uber Bronco
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,198
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![]() Unbelievable after that many years that she decided your sons 17th birthday was the day to make this break.
Weather the storm brutha. Sunnier days ahead. |
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#106 | |
Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 386
Adopt-a-Bronco: None |
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#107 |
Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 386
Adopt-a-Bronco: None |
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#108 |
I WANT DEFENSE!
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Always Hoping
Posts: 18,972
Adopt-a-Bronco: John Mobley |
![]() Really sorry to hear this, especially if you didn't see it coming. Some good advice here, Get A Lawyer! If she's asking for full custody, unless you are a crap father, she wants the full child support. With joint she doesn't get full. Plus you want to be able to make decisions for your kids too.
Don't know your circumstances, such as if she worked, but fight like hell against alimony. It's ridiculous that a healthy spouse can claim she/he can't work. Most of all be there for your kids and do not talk bad about mom. Wish you the best of luck but mostly for your boys. |
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#109 |
#happy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 13,668
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#110 |
#happy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 13,668
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#111 |
*************************
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Broncos
Posts: 11,725
Adopt-a-Bronco: 2015DraftClass |
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#112 |
I WANT DEFENSE!
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Always Hoping
Posts: 18,972
Adopt-a-Bronco: John Mobley |
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#113 |
english not british!!
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: nr blackburn ,england
Posts: 3,841
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![]() horrible thing to happen . Ive been divorced twice,first was straight forward and we were too young and stupid. She wanted a horse more than me or was it 15 hands between the legs .
The second I had a two kids and she had an affair ,I found out because we had the same phones and hers bleeped a text and I thought it was my phone. My experience on it was nasty ,I had a messy court battle , she got custody and she got 70% yup 70% of MY house after we sold it. The legals were a nightmare and both sides played tennis so to speak in that they batted letters(bills ) back and forth.In the uk we have csa which is child support ,she went to court when I worked a months overtime and it ruined me and I am still trying to get straight 12 years later. On the bright side I vowed never to have a relationship ever again and as someone alluded to earlier if that meant paying then so be it ha. However I met an amazing woman who herself had been in a bad relationship and we are now happily married and wont be making any mistakes this time .Im a step granddad as well now to 8 kids who all love me as a granddad and its a role I love . advise from uk , try and keep it as unmessy as you can and there is a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. |
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#114 |
***************
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Seattle
Posts: 28,876
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![]() When you see your kids, do NOT bad-mouth their mother.
Whenever permissible, make LOW-KEY requests of her to consider meeting (at lawyer's) to try and arrive at a workable agreement rather than spend thousands to arrive at likely the same result. Lightly push for arbitration or mediation if available where you are, and DON'T listen to ANY of her lawyer's insistence you will lose ... something he WILL tell you until you're represented. Make certain you understand any and all IRAs, dates they vested, inheritances, etc .... you WILL need a lawyer. |
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#115 | |
Ring of Famer
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Mountains
Posts: 2,103
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If this happened as OP says she has likely been planning this for a while. Sorry this happened I can't imagine coming home to that. |
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#116 | |
Ring of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 6,049
Adopt-a-Bronco: Chris Harris Jr |
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If your wife leaves in the middle of the night with the kids and no explanation and you haven't been ****ing around, get a lawyer ASAP. That isn't a shot across the bow, that is a full on nuclear launch and you need to be fully armed and ready. |
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#117 |
lost in the ether
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The 'cuse
Posts: 5,907
Adopt-a-Bronco: Your mom |
![]() After 20 years, my wife let me put her thru college so that she could leave me for another guy. Devastating. Never imagined I could cry so much.
Get a good lawyer. Lotsa folks have parroted that, but it bears repeating. This is a war. Even if you don't think it is, it is. She moved premeditatedly, it's been planned out in advance so she's been sitting there loathing you for a time frame and she is due. And she will go for her pound of flesh. The culture and the laws are stacked against you. Best advice there is just to accept it. I suspect you're gonna find out a whole bunch of things that have been done to undermine you over the previous months and years. It sucks but it is what it is. I had friends that had known me for 30 or so years, and wouldnt talk to me. Or even look me in the eye. I suspect they were told I was a cross between Ike Turner and a pedophile. I've discovered this axiom about society - when you leave your wife, it's cuz you're an a-hole. When you're wife leaves you, it's cuz you're an a-hole. Get occupied. I started assistant coaching a college team. That left me with Monday evening to think about what was going on. And that was good. Otherwise, it will gnaw you inside. Don't get into the bottle. When the season ended and I wasnt coaching, I started drinking. Every night. Literally. Don't. Just don't. Get into faith. Reinvigorating my faith and going to church is probably the reason I am here today. Seriously. Good chance that would have killed me without God. And I save this for last because it's overlooked but important. Don't start dating. We men tend to salve our wounds like this with another relationship. You probably wont find anyone worthy at this point. Take some time, heal, get to know yourself outside of your relationship, and become more whole. You'll attract a better pool of women when the time comes. It sucks, but it gets better. Slowly but it does. Each day better than the last. |
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#118 |
lost in the ether
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The 'cuse
Posts: 5,907
Adopt-a-Bronco: Your mom |
![]() More thoughts - this topic got my mind going...
Don't see her or engage her in any way on your own. A witness should be there, and don't make that a kid. They are in the middle and struggling their own way. And dont talk to her. Dont send email, texts, calls, smoke signals, etc, to her. Nothing. If you need to tell someone she's a ****ing cheating whore ****, then tell your parents. Tell the guys at the bar. Tell your co-workers Tell us. You can PM me. But say nothing to her. Nothing, because nothing good will come of it at this point. It's only raw feelings and emotion. |
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#119 |
Ring of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Now 64 Yards Out
Posts: 7,065
Adopt-a-Bronco: 1 Elam 1 |
![]() ...thank you all. I can’t begin to express how much I appreciate the wise advise and keen suggestions here. This is one of the oddest life processes I have ever experienced so your insight is invaluable.
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#120 |
Three Lombardis
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ceti Alpha V
Posts: 54,806
Adopt-a-Bronco: Pat Bowlen |
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#121 |
Famer of Rings
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: SoCal
Posts: 32,508
Adopt-a-Bronco: Simon Fletcher |
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#122 | |
Kranz Dictum
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Tranquility Base
Posts: 55,638
Adopt-a-Bronco: Joesy Jewel |
![]() Quote:
I would also assume if the OP is volunteering his time in the community it would help in the court room too. It is as easy as going to a HS boosters meeting, a Library friends group, coaching as advised above, any number of other community groups that are out there. Volunteering takes your mind off your problems and you feel good helping others. I had to go walk my kids schedule last night at her HS and I had a ton of people stopping me and saying hi. It made me feel good and considering I was dealing with my nerve firing down my leg into my foot every step I took it made me feel better seeing all these friends I have made. Plus I made a new one with my kids Culinary teacher who needed help fundraising. It is easy and if you do it right it is an hour a month for each group you volunteer for. Also since everyone is a volunteer they understand if you can't make a meeting or something. At the very least go find a group to talk about what you are going through if you don't want to volunteer your time. |
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#123 |
Dont Dox Me Bro!
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Lakewood,Colo
Posts: 53,144
Adopt-a-Bronco: Juicy Jewel |
![]() I have a long time family friend for some reason he thought mail order brides were the answer I knew its wasn't but sadly he got him a gal from Vietnam and the minute she got legal she was gone ( go figure ).
Then sadly he still didn't learn his lesson and got a girl from Russia real pretty girl I might add and a great personality and It seemed things were going good and he bought a new house out in Littleton and she got pregnant. Well you would think this was good but it wasn't she too got her citizenship and dumped him and now owns his ass for 18 years he loves his kid dearly but he deals with her wanting more money all the time. Now for the reason I told this story my friend was the most friendly caring person I knew and after this he the most hateful negative person I know I cant stand to be around him anymore and I have told him. Fact is I know it sucks and the road ahead is going to suck but don't become this it will consume you and dictate your personality like I have witnessed from my friend you absolutely have to keep things in perspective from here out for yourself and your kids it will pay off huge in the end so pay attention to yourself. |
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#124 |
Gambling is a SIN^^^^^^
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 16,580
Adopt-a-Bronco: None |
![]() If it looks like you are going to work this out take the time to get some strange before it's too late.
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