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Old 05-09-2017, 07:28 PM   #1
ShaneFalco
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"My neighbor across the street just came over in a panic. She's a little old lady, screaming that a bear got on the back porch and is slamming on her glass door," one call to 911 stated.

Members of Department of Energy and Environmental Protection were not called to the scene. They said a bear "spent considerable time on a deck and was reluctant to leave." This incident was especially terrifying for the female homeowner who was baking brownies as the bear pressed up against her glass door

http://www.wfsb.com/story/35372523/a...o-get-in-homes

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Old 05-09-2017, 07:48 PM   #2
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Edibles. You would know. And how ****ing baked are you to start a thread about this?
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Old 05-09-2017, 07:51 PM   #3
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bears are the best.

Who doesnt love a good bear story?

if i could domesticate winnie the poo, i would.
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Old 05-09-2017, 07:57 PM   #4
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He totally wants the brownies.

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Old 05-09-2017, 07:57 PM   #5
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I think you are projecting.
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Old 05-09-2017, 07:59 PM   #6
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you know how awesome it would be to be able to go on the porch and feed a bear brownies?

If only they wouldnt eat my face off. They could surpass dogs as mans best friend.
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Old 05-09-2017, 09:33 PM   #7
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I am guessing that Shane became a Bears fan right after the Rams packed up and left STL.
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Old 05-09-2017, 09:43 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by ShaneFalco View Post
you know how awesome it would be to be able to go on the porch and feed a bear brownies?

If only they wouldnt eat my face off. They could surpass dogs as mans best friend.
Try that.
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Old 05-09-2017, 09:51 PM   #9
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Try that.


my dream
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Old 05-09-2017, 10:01 PM   #10
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We saw a sow and 2 Cubs at Teton Natl Park 2 years ago. Big Grizz, she was euthanized after eating a guy 2 weeks later on that same trail. She followed a few teenage girls up the trail. I yelled ahead, 'bear is within 50 feet and headed your way'. One of the girls explained to me that bear was nice and wandered in their camp all morning...'she's just a local bear!'
...wow!

Another back country trip in Wyoming: After a solid 18 miles of backpacking, my sons and I were setting up camp. I went up a small knoll away from camp crossing a small brook on my way to drain the muscle hamster. Once I drained out singing Run DMC while I pissed, I turned back down through the trees to cross the brook ... All I saw was a flash of fur and 5' in front of me was a bear running away from me and toward the brook. It was a small sow brown bear, she jumped immediately down into the brook onto a small deer/fawn. Most awful screaming for 15 seconds ensued and then complete carnage followed.

Shaky but glad it wasn't me, I decided to observe the bear and she kept looking back at me up near the knoll like she was nervous and eating rapidly. I wondered why she was so nervous and hurried - I was just human - maybe she had been threatened with gunfire; then, the details unfolded- a huge grizz male walked out from between me and the smaller bear consuming the fawn- it was full size grizz. HUGE Mofo...Potroast size. He was def hungry and quickly overtook the smaller female bears kill. The smaller bear may have saved my life as I had no idea either bear was in the area. Morale to story: enjoy peeing in the woods while you sing... it may be your last!

Last edited by Vegas_Bronco; 05-09-2017 at 10:12 PM..
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Old 05-09-2017, 10:04 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Vegas_Bronco View Post
We saw a sow and 2 Cubs at Teton Natl Park 2 years ago. Big Grizz, she was euthanized after eating a guy 2 weeks later on that same trail. She followed a few teenage girls up the trail. I yelled ahead, 'bear is within 50 feet and headed your way'. One of the girls explained to me that bear was nice and wandered in their camp all morning...'she's just a local bear!'
...wow!

Another back country trip in Wyoming: After a solid 18 miles of backpacking, my sons and I were setting up camp. I went up a small knoll away from camp crossing a small brook on my way to drain the muscle hamster and came back down through the trees to cross the brook and 5' in front of me was a bear who jumped immediately down into the brook onto a small dawn. It was screaming for 15 seconds and then complete carnage followed. Shaky but glad it wasn't me, I decided to observe the bear and she kept looking back at me up the knoll like she was nervous and eating rapidly. I wondered why she was so nervous and hurried - I was just human - maybe she had been threatened with gunfire; then, the details unfolded- a huge grizz male walked out from between me and the smaller bear consuming the fawn- it was full size grizz. He was def hungry and quickly overtook the smaller female bears kill. The smaller bear may have saved my life as I had no idea either bear was in the area. Morale to story: enjoy peeing in the woods, it may be your last!
hardcore.

You almost got done Revenant style.
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Old 05-09-2017, 10:17 PM   #12
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hardcore.

You almost got done Revenant style.
Rep! Best show in past 10 years.
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Old 05-09-2017, 10:36 PM   #13
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Drunk or high...which one...
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Old 05-09-2017, 10:53 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegas_Bronco View Post
We saw a sow and 2 Cubs at Teton Natl Park 2 years ago. Big Grizz, she was euthanized after eating a guy 2 weeks later on that same trail. She followed a few teenage girls up the trail. I yelled ahead, 'bear is within 50 feet and headed your way'. One of the girls explained to me that bear was nice and wandered in their camp all morning...'she's just a local bear!'
...wow!

Another back country trip in Wyoming: After a solid 18 miles of backpacking, my sons and I were setting up camp. I went up a small knoll away from camp crossing a small brook on my way to drain the muscle hamster. Once I drained out singing Run DMC while I pissed, I turned back down through the trees to cross the brook ... All I saw was a flash of fur and 5' in front of me was a bear running away from me and toward the brook. It was a small sow brown bear, she jumped immediately down into the brook onto a small deer/fawn. Most awful screaming for 15 seconds ensued and then complete carnage followed.

Shaky but glad it wasn't me, I decided to observe the bear and she kept looking back at me up near the knoll like she was nervous and eating rapidly. I wondered why she was so nervous and hurried - I was just human - maybe she had been threatened with gunfire; then, the details unfolded- a huge grizz male walked out from between me and the smaller bear consuming the fawn- it was full size grizz. HUGE Mofo...Potroast size. He was def hungry and quickly overtook the smaller female bears kill. The smaller bear may have saved my life as I had no idea either bear was in the area. Morale to story: enjoy peeing in the woods while you sing... it may be your last!
Good stuff!
Bears are one of the most magnificent animals in the world. A grizzly bear, that is. I've always been mystified by them
I've never encounter one in the wild, but you will never catch me out in the woods without at least a brand new UDAP Power Bear Deterrent Pepper Spray best stuff money can buy, that stuff is nasty! and I may carry my Glock G23 .40 depends on where I'm at and if I'm camping overnight...
One thing I've learned thru the years is, ALWAYS GIVE YOURSELF A FIGHTING CHANCE! There's nothing more deflating for a human being than being in a vulnerable position where you wished you had something to fight back with to save your life...

I used to have a S&W .44 Magnum. First gun I've ever owned. Too much gun for me, that thing was too powerful for me to carry around. That's some serious gun!

Last edited by strafen; 05-09-2017 at 10:56 PM..
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Old 05-10-2017, 12:22 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegas_Bronco View Post
We saw a sow and 2 Cubs at Teton Natl Park 2 years ago. Big Grizz, she was euthanized after eating a guy 2 weeks later on that same trail. She followed a few teenage girls up the trail. I yelled ahead, 'bear is within 50 feet and headed your way'. One of the girls explained to me that bear was nice and wandered in their camp all morning...'she's just a local bear!'
...wow!

Another back country trip in Wyoming: After a solid 18 miles of backpacking, my sons and I were setting up camp. I went up a small knoll away from camp crossing a small brook on my way to drain the muscle hamster. Once I drained out singing Run DMC while I pissed, I turned back down through the trees to cross the brook ... All I saw was a flash of fur and 5' in front of me was a bear running away from me and toward the brook. It was a small sow brown bear, she jumped immediately down into the brook onto a small deer/fawn. Most awful screaming for 15 seconds ensued and then complete carnage followed.

Shaky but glad it wasn't me, I decided to observe the bear and she kept looking back at me up near the knoll like she was nervous and eating rapidly. I wondered why she was so nervous and hurried - I was just human - maybe she had been threatened with gunfire; then, the details unfolded- a huge grizz male walked out from between me and the smaller bear consuming the fawn- it was full size grizz. HUGE Mofo...Potroast size. He was def hungry and quickly overtook the smaller female bears kill. The smaller bear may have saved my life as I had no idea either bear was in the area. Morale to story: enjoy peeing in the woods while you sing... it may be your last!
Nice bear, eh?

Reminds me of the Derek Zoolander of amateur conservationists, Timothy Treadwell, who thought he had made "friends" with a number of wild Alaskan brown bears only to bring his girlfriend into his camp (where he briefly lived among bears) to see them both consumed and defecated all over the area, leaving only some clothing and remains in the belly of the beast.
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Old 05-10-2017, 12:26 AM   #16
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Drunk or high...which one...
Ape'n, rape'n, tape'n catharsis

You RAPE'n, BRO?!?!?
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Old 05-10-2017, 12:37 AM   #17
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Grizzlies are unpredictable.

Last summer I camped for a few days on a wilderness lake in Glacier NP. The same day I made a 16 mile wilderness hike - solo -- a grizzly attacked a man on a bicycle. The bear came out of the woods onto a highway, chased the bilker down and killed him.
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Old 05-10-2017, 05:14 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RonMexico View Post
Ape'n, rape'n, tape'n catharsis

You RAPE'n, BRO?!?!?
It's abundantly clear that the bear planned to rape like Marshawn Lynch after contact.
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Old 05-10-2017, 05:24 AM   #19
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Old 05-10-2017, 05:33 AM   #20
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Bear > Ty Sambrailo.
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Old 05-10-2017, 05:45 AM   #21
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That happened literally about three minutes from where I live.

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Old 05-10-2017, 07:15 AM   #22
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this thread is total bearshyt.
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Old 05-10-2017, 08:54 AM   #23
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Reminds me that I need to apply for a Bear license. Thank you!!!
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Old 05-10-2017, 08:59 AM   #24
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Old 05-10-2017, 10:44 AM   #25
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