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Old 02-24-2005, 01:10 PM   #76
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I know what makes my wife happy , and I also know what pisses her off .needless to say I am much better at pissing her off
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:10 PM   #77
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Originally Posted by Big Guy
And if she is miserable, you damn well be miserable too or she will make sure you are.
Wise man once say... If momma not happy, nobody happy!

Out of a sense of self-preservation, if nothing else, I do my best to keep momma happy!

Ben
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:11 PM   #78
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Originally Posted by §Pide®
So it wasnt one of those , Hey Shack I am Pregnant and My daddy owns a shotgun deals hey



We all have Problems just not pretty women .........


besides it is cheaper to keep her


after 15 years with hte same woman I have learned 1 thing , Keep her pissed off about little things , that way when you screw up big , it isnt that big of a deal
, no, no shot gun, just a horny young guy who thought marriage was the key to everlasting sex…..BOY was I wrong

And yeah…everyone has their own problems, that’s what I mean, just b/c a chick is hot doesn’t mean she won’t piss you off if you actually have to live with her
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:14 PM   #79
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Originally Posted by Mile High Shack
, no, no shot gun, just a horny young guy who thought marriage was the key to everlasting sex…..BOY was I wrong
...... everlasting sex , I thought the same thing ......

Quote:
And yeah…everyone has their own problems, that’s what I mean, just b/c a chick is hot doesn’t mean she won’t piss you off if you actually have to live with her
This is where Drugs and Booze kicks in
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:25 PM   #80
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Originally Posted by Mile High Shack
dude that is like the search for the holy grail

women say there is one, men search for it and still haven't found it
The secret to women?

If you get too close, we will push you away because you are too clingy. If you don't get close enough, we will push you away because we don't want to waste our time with someone who doesn't want to get close to us.

We can, and will cry, yell, pout, or b**** at any time, for any reason - or for no reason at all.

We will ask you your opinion, but if it is not what we want to hear, it is wrong.

The list goes on and on...don't you understand?
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:27 PM   #81
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While we may not be able to find the secret to women, here is an emergency precaution system to handle the "ups and downs" of dealing with a women.

http://tinyurl.com/4yx2z
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:29 PM   #82
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Originally Posted by Crush Girl
The secret to women?

If you get too close, we will push you away because you are too clingy. If you don't get close enough, we will push you away because we don't want to waste our time with someone who doesn't want to get close to us.

We can, and will cry, yell, pout, or b**** at any time, for any reason - or for no reason at all.

We will ask you your opinion, but if it is not what we want to hear, it is wrong.

The list goes on and on...don't you understand?

:boohoo:

see what I mean, you women is cwazy

this is exactly what I was talking about, I feel like that dog that gets beat with a newspaper one minute then praised the next....I'm confused and I end up just pissing on myself
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:36 PM   #83
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The difference between men and women:


FEMALE PRAYER:
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep. One
who’s handsome, smart and strong, One who loves to listen long, One who
thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he’s
gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed. Pulls out my
chair and opens my door, massages my back and begs to do more. Send me a
man who’ll make love to my mind, knows what to answer to “How big is my
behind?” I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very
best friend.


MALE PRAYER:
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:37 PM   #84
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Originally Posted by Crush Girl
The difference between men and women:


FEMALE PRAYER:
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who’s not a creep. One
who’s handsome, smart and strong, One who loves to listen long, One who
thinks before he speaks, One who’ll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he’s
gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed. Pulls out my
chair and opens my door, massages my back and begs to do more. Send me a
man who’ll make love to my mind, knows what to answer to “How big is my
behind?” I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very
best friend.


MALE PRAYER:
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
I have an addendum to that one....scratch off bass boat and golf country club membership for me
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:45 PM   #85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crush Girl


MALE PRAYER:
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
Works for me
I already have the truck , camper , and a boat , Not a Bass boat though
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Old 02-24-2005, 01:56 PM   #86
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;d
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Old 02-24-2005, 02:03 PM   #87
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PMS button is too small.
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Old 02-24-2005, 02:12 PM   #88
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PMS button is too small.
.......
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Old 02-24-2005, 02:44 PM   #89
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Originally Posted by Mile High Shack
she plans on nursing for a couple of months till she goes back to work.........yeah my wife is already in an F

yikes
Holy smokes!! Yeah, she's in way bigger trouble than I was. I started out at a D and went to a G. Whoa, I really feel for her! You wouldn't believe how heavy those suckers get when they are full of milk.
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Old 02-24-2005, 02:47 PM   #90
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Holy smokes!! Yeah, she's in way bigger trouble than I was. I started out at a D and went to a G. Whoa, I really feel for her! You wouldn't believe how heavy those suckers get when they are full of milk.
she started out Double D and is now an F more than 1/2 way through, I assume it will go to a G
lol
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Old 02-24-2005, 03:41 PM   #91
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Anyone else think about getting their beer gut sucked out?

Seriously, if I ever did that, I'd have it all back in just outside of a years time...or after a few Pietasters shows
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Old 02-24-2005, 04:03 PM   #92
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Originally Posted by Crush Girl
The secret to women?

If you get too close, we will push you away because you are too clingy. If you don't get close enough, we will push you away because we don't want to waste our time with someone who doesn't want to get close to us.

We can, and will cry, yell, pout, or b**** at any time, for any reason - or for no reason at all.

We will ask you your opinion, but if it is not what we want to hear, it is wrong.

The list goes on and on...don't you understand?
The secret to women?

Make sure you have Sunday Ticket. Give her the channel changer on game days. Make your own sandwich at halftime...
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Old 02-24-2005, 04:23 PM   #93
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I think rhis one sums it up nicely.

Ben
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Old 02-24-2005, 07:24 PM   #94
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i've heard of peope splitting their tongue. Apparently the female's like it for certain activities. Sorry but if my whole tongue isn't good enough for you...to ****ing bad.

LMFAO!
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Old 02-24-2005, 09:21 PM   #95
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The secret to women?

Make sure you have Sunday Ticket. Give her the channel changer on game days. Make your own sandwich at halftime...

Sunday Ticket and Center Ice. You know for when hockey actually comes back.
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