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Old 06-06-2013, 09:22 AM   #126
ZONA
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Originally Posted by Willynowei View Post
wait wait wait wait wait... is this serious? I thought it was a joke? If this thread is serious, dear OP, don't listen to anyone saying anything, give either me or the Reverend a pm, immediately. Man intervention is needed.

If you give me a PM, know this, I will not help you obtain love or anything resembling it, but i will teach you how to get laid (without buying a hooker), that I promise.
Ah, you must be the alpha male here right? Gods gift to women. The rest of us must not now **** about what to do with women.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:22 AM   #127
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The phrase "it puts the lotion of its skin or it gets the hose again" turns all women on. Use it and they'll be all over you!
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:23 AM   #128
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Dating Tips for Next Time:

1) Make fun of her incessantly. Call her names like, "MuffHammer" and "Giggleboobies"....women love this type of attention.

2) Show up hammered, maybe even high on something....it will help relax you

3) Text, play Bug Village or whatever other phone game you have the whole time...if she asks what you're doing say, "Goddamnit! Stay out of my business!" This will intrigue her

4) When the waiter comes tell him/her that you aren't hungry because you have bubbleguts...when the food comes, eat with your hands off of her plate

5) Immediately head to the bathroom and say, "Gotta go drop the Cosby kids off at the pool."...pick up a cocktail shrimp off of another table and pretend its your pepe

6) Leave
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:25 AM   #129
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Originally Posted by ColoradoDarin View Post
The phrase "it puts the lotion of its skin or it gets the hose again" turns all women on. Use it and they'll be all over you!
Yep....tell her that the ladies usually call you "Buffalo Bill" and you won't be able to her away from you.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:29 AM   #130
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"Girl you remind me of my big toe, because sooner or later I'm gonna bang you on my coffee table."
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:35 AM   #131
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Watched "We bought a zoo" the other day and kinda thought that guys motto was really cool.

All you need is 20 seconds of courage and I promise you something amazing will come of it.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:36 AM   #132
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Ah, you must be the alpha male here right? Gods gift to women. The rest of us must not now **** about what to do with women.
Yes, absolutely, I am.

Last edited by Willynowei; 06-06-2013 at 10:16 AM..
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:48 AM   #133
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"Girl you remind me of my big toe, because sooner or later I'm gonna bang you on my coffee table."
By far the funniest of the thread for me.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:49 AM   #134
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vancejohnson82 View Post
Dating Tips for Next Time:

1) Make fun of her incessantly. Call her names like, "MuffHammer" and "Giggleboobies"....women love this type of attention.

2) Show up hammered, maybe even high on something....it will help relax you

3) Text, play Bug Village or whatever other phone game you have the whole time...if she asks what you're doing say, "Goddamnit! Stay out of my business!" This will intrigue her

4) When the waiter comes tell him/her that you aren't hungry because you have bubbleguts...when the food comes, eat with your hands off of her plate

5) Immediately head to the bathroom and say, "Gotta go drop the Cosby kids off at the pool."...pick up a cocktail shrimp off of another table and pretend its your pepe

6) Leave
I wanna party with you.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:52 AM   #135
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthStndJunkie View Post
"Girl you remind me of my big toe, because sooner or later I'm gonna bang you on my coffee table."
classy. maybe too classy.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:54 AM   #136
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You guys actually believe this nonesense? @ you guys.
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Old 06-06-2013, 10:01 AM   #137
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You guys actually believe this nonesense? @ you guys.
Don't you know everything you read on the mane is true.
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Old 06-06-2013, 10:03 AM   #138
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OM Vegas trip to get this guy laid!
he won't get laid in Vegas without buying a hookers or having game which he doesn't.
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Old 06-06-2013, 10:04 AM   #139
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I wanna party with you.
you got any money?
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Old 06-06-2013, 10:10 AM   #140
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you got any money?
I've got 2 turntables and a microphone.
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Old 06-06-2013, 10:20 AM   #141
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yes, advice from kcstud is valuable. He's always right.
That post flew way over your head. No surprise there.
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Old 06-06-2013, 10:51 AM   #142
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Great thread.
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Old 06-06-2013, 12:02 PM   #143
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Here's the story.

We plan to meet for some beers. I buy first round, then she opens a tap.

She's ordering us shots and beers. Were pretty ****ed up after all this.

She sends me a text saying "thanks for the 100 tap" "you could of helped"
if you have yet to reply to this text, simply reply with 'you *could've helped'. chicks love smart guys and she will want to do the night all over again.
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Old 06-06-2013, 12:08 PM   #144
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Ah, you must be the alpha male here right? Gods gift to women. The rest of us must not now **** about what to do with women.
OK what's it gonna take to kill this avatar
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Old 06-06-2013, 12:21 PM   #145
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If she mentions Myrtle Beach, GTFO.
If she mentions a Richard Gear Special runaway fast.
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Old 06-06-2013, 01:12 PM   #146
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I was under the impression that we were just meeting for a couple of beers, not getting getting completely hammered. Especially since it's during the week. The conversation was good, lots of laughing and joking.

We've been texting and talking on the phone for a couple of weeks.

I texted her and offered money to help cover some of the damage.

Wasn't trying to be cheap, just didn't think of it at the time.

She send a text at 3 am saying "it's over and done with"

And FYI I'm not a virgin.
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Old 06-06-2013, 01:14 PM   #147
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Los Broncos View Post
I was under the impression that we were just meeting for a couple of beers, not getting getting completely hammered. Especially since it's during the week. The conversation was good, lots of laughing and joking.

We've been texting and talking on the phone for a couple of weeks.

I texted her and offered money to help cover some of the damage.

Wasn't trying to be cheap, just didn't think of it at the time.

She send a text at 3 am saying "it's over and done with"

And FYI I'm not a virgin.
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Old 06-06-2013, 01:15 PM   #148
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Los Broncos View Post
I was under the impression that we were just meeting for a couple of beers, not getting getting completely hammered. Especially since it's during the week. The conversation was good, lots of laughing and joking.

We've been texting and talking on the phone for a couple of weeks.

I texted her and offered money to help cover some of the damage.

Wasn't trying to be cheap, just didn't think of it at the time.

She send a text at 3 am saying "it's over and done with"

And FYI I'm not a virgin.
no way
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Old 06-06-2013, 01:19 PM   #149
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Oh well, lesson learned.
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Old 06-06-2013, 01:19 PM   #150
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Los Broncos View Post
I was under the impression that we were just meeting for a couple of beers, not getting getting completely hammered. Especially since it's during the week. The conversation was good, lots of laughing and joking.

We've been texting and talking on the phone for a couple of weeks.

I texted her and offered money to help cover some of the damage.

Wasn't trying to be cheap, just didn't think of it at the time.

She send a text at 3 am saying "it's over and done with"

And FYI I'm not a virgin.
You do know phone sex does not count right?
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