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Old 01-11-2013, 11:04 AM   #1
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Yes, yes, my “regular” updates lasted a few weeks and then vanished. I get it. I think we’ve ALL been busy during the holiday season, and frankly, the Broncos haven’t played anyone worth a sentence in months anyway. Don’t get me wrong, that trend will continue tomorrow against the Ravens, but I suppose being the playoffs and all…

ROUND TWO… FIGHT!

The AFC North is dead. RIP to the most classless (here’s looking at you Bengals and Rapist-berger) division in football. Joe Flacco (Translation: English for “Mark Sanchez”) captains (to use the term INSANELY loosely) a middling offense in every statistical category (16th yardage, 15th passing, 11th rushing, 10th scoring) and a crippled and aged defense living off a reputation from an era long since passed (16th yardage, 16th pass, 13th run, 20th scoring). Let’s see how many football clichés we can cram into “analyzing” this game:

It’s the post-season so time to throw the records out the window (ding!) and take it one game at a time (ding!) because this is why we play the game (ding!) as it’s going to be a slugfest (ding!) where both teams try to show who wants it more (ding!)… there’s no love lost between these teams (ding!), and this is a game of matchups (ding!), and the game of football is won in the trenches (ding!), but when push comes to shove, it’s about protecting the quarterback (ding!) and Peyton Manning makes his teammates better (ding!), so if both teams play a full sixty minutes (ding!) and the Broncos avoid costly turnovers (ding!), they will emerge victorious… and lastly, [insert any white player’s name] has a motor that won’t quit (ding!).

Count: 12. …unless you count Ray Lewis as a walking cliché, then it’s closer to 9000.
Actual football discussed following the quoted material at: http://patrickturley.org/broncos-rav...season-awards/
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:54 AM   #2
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-1 for no mention of Squirrel Dance or Ed Reed/ball hawk.
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:06 PM   #3
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-1 for no mention of Squirrel Dance or Ed Reed/ball hawk.
I would've loved to, but it's far too hokey as is since the Ravens are a ****ing joke.
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:11 PM   #4
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Old 01-11-2013, 08:31 PM   #5
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So that's why she barely moved when i ****ed her. Classic. Ill get the book for my marine buddy
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Old 01-11-2013, 08:40 PM   #6
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Actual football discussed following the quoted material at: http://patrickturley.org/broncos-rav...season-awards/
Does this link tell me where Ray Lewis's white suit is?
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Old 01-11-2013, 09:12 PM   #7
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So that's why she barely moved when i ****ed her. Classic. Ill get the book for my marine buddy
lol did you find that in the excerpt section or in the speaking engagement/presentation I gave?
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Old 01-12-2013, 01:04 AM   #8
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It was in the excerpt. I know this is a super lazy question but where can i find this book again. Maybe denver locally?
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Old 01-12-2013, 07:28 AM   #9
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It was in the excerpt. I know this is a super lazy question but where can i find this book again. Maybe denver locally?
Yup, ANY of the major bookstores. Or you can grab it here:

http://www.amazon.com/Welcome-Hell-T...patrick+turley
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