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Old 04-27-2010, 01:48 PM   #76
cutthemdown
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Get job first, then move. Don't be stupid and run away from your family and a good job because your G/F or wife isn't happy in her job. Time to be a grown up. You are 25 now and it's time to stop just doing things and hoping they will work out.

You need to plan a move a little more I think. At least save up 6 months worth of money and then make the move. Really you need a job before you move there.
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Old 04-27-2010, 01:50 PM   #77
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Move to Austin. The birthplace and final resting place of all that is cool.
Austin would be at the top of my list if I was relocating.

Lot's of bands for me to hook up with and play my sax. Killer looking ladies, cool city with lots to do, vibrant music scene...Hell yeah Austin has it going on.
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Old 04-27-2010, 01:54 PM   #78
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How is all of this free advice working for you?
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Old 04-27-2010, 01:54 PM   #79
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I've heard Austin is a liberal bastion & hippy playground.

And there'd be them pesky "hook 'em horns" everywhere...

Just say no to all that pain.
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Old 04-27-2010, 02:02 PM   #80
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She sounds like my ex. Troubled childhood, manipulative, kids, can't hold a job, didn't graduate etc.

Once I dumped her, I have accomplished so much more in my life, on my way to grad school now, found a woman 10000x better than I ever imagined, and actually have some money in the bank.

She found some sad 25-year-old sap to marry her, and how he has dropped out of school, and they both work hourly jobs at fast food restaurants.
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Old 04-27-2010, 02:05 PM   #81
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Don't shack up with someone that doesn't make you better.
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Old 04-27-2010, 02:11 PM   #82
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If she has a sister, give her the business........if she doesnt leave you then you can consider moving with her.
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Old 04-27-2010, 02:14 PM   #83
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I would take advice that The Rev gave you. This girl sounds like excuse after excuse why her life has been bad and why she can't hold a job. Sounds like she is using you for a meal ticket. Whatever you do you have to make sure you don't knock her up.
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Old 04-27-2010, 02:17 PM   #84
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I disagree. Shack up with plenty that don't make you better... just don't have breakfast with them
I think our definitions of shackin up differ. Bang away but don't pay her bills for Tebow sake.
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Old 04-27-2010, 02:19 PM   #85
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What was your relationship like with your family before this chick came in the picture?

FWW I am with the Rev on this one. 25 is young, but not that young. There are mistakes you can recover from - but throwing away a job on whim that you'll get a decent one in Myrtle Beach (probably doing accounting for some aspect of the service industry, not really advancing your career) is a big mistake. If you have a kid with her that will be a complete disaster.

My advice - apply for graduate school. Take the loans you need to make it happen. Get a better education and a better job and chances are good that on a college campus you can meet someone with intelligence and amibition to match your own.
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Old 04-27-2010, 02:19 PM   #86
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Break up with her and go get yourself a Josina.
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Old 04-27-2010, 02:20 PM   #87
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@ Buddy Tebow ...



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Old 04-27-2010, 02:58 PM   #88
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If you are asking us, you know that this is a bad idea. It sucks, but it sound like you found someone that isn't an adult and isn't ready to have serious relationship. If you go back to SC, then chances are all the bad decisions that she made before will be rearing their ugly heads and you will be stuck in the middle, without a full time job and no family support group.
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:02 PM   #89
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Either make her get an education or drop her.. You are taking on way too much baggage for a guy in your position. You haven't even started to live yet and you wanna take all this on. You are "golden" a guy with an education,no kids,the world is yours, you make things happen and you lead don't follow when you don't have to!!!!!
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:10 PM   #90
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Don't underestimate the value of getting out of a state you hate, and away from dysfunctional family.

Better to have a job lined up in advance, but get out when you can.

And... Do you trust your g/f to be a partner to you, rather than an albatross around your neck?
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:11 PM   #91
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The economic 'recovery' doesn't seem to include jobs yet, and it doesn't sound like you have a cushion.

Be careful.
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:54 PM   #92
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No brainer, imo.

"She hasn't had a job because she continues to get hired at a place and either not like it"

"Also, she has a 4 year old daughter, so makes it tougher."

"Now, I don't want to get in too many details, but she had a terrible childhood that caused her to have to drop out of high school"

Three key sentences. I'm sure she had rough circumstances as you said, but now she has a 4 year old and apparently lacks the responsibility to even put a solid effort into independently taking care of her child. You can try and blow that off as another reason to where she feels comfortable moving, but uprooting your own life (which it sounds like you have YOUR **** together, albeit probably a little blinded by emotion) on a chance she matures is absurd.

Side note: Unrelated to the previous point, but something that sounds like it's true. You may be being used. A relationship should be based on mutual respect, not by being Captain Save-A-Ho. That may or may not pertain to you, but take a step back and a close look at who you are and the reality of your relationship before doing ANYTHING.

So much more goes into this... what are your families opinions? Is this relationship what caused stress between you and your family? Do you feel the relationship is healthy, or is moving an option partly because you think it will heal part of the relationship?
Im with this guy. I know at work when Im trying to explain something that might not go over well I skip the details too.

If I had a 4 YO and was basically a single parent Id shovel **** if I had to at midnight....What makes you so sure she wont get a crappy job in SC? a lot of people have ****ty jobs but they do them anyway because they have kids.
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:59 PM   #93
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Nothing in life is without risk. Go with your gut.
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Old 04-27-2010, 04:05 PM   #94
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Nothing in life is without risk. Go with your gut.
For some risks that is fine. Not this one imo. Think it through carefully with an eye on what happens if it all goes to s**t what did you give up to end up with that result. If we were talking about the job vs you spending 6 months in Europe I'd say go with your gut and get out of there.
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Old 04-27-2010, 04:07 PM   #95
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If I had a 4 YO and was basically a single parent Id shovel **** if I had to at midnight.
This.
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Old 04-27-2010, 04:52 PM   #96
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Go West
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Old 04-27-2010, 05:13 PM   #97
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This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen dude...i prolly wouldn't be with someone that has a kid, no job and no HS diploma to begin with!

I think she may want to be closer to the baby's dad and is just using that she isn't happy as an excuse to move closer! Not that that's bad but why hide it if in fact she is?? If for no reason why closer to where she's from and further from where your from?? Why not CO?? AZ?? ND??

I think she's holding you back and using you. I wouldn't be surprised if she got her feet underneath her she wouldn't up and leave you!

If you really love her and vice versa...it shouldn't be a problem to wait at least until you find a better job there and have some money saved up. No offense but it doesn't sound like she thinks very logically! Tell her this and observe her reaction..i mean, why June?!?! Why not October or February of next year?? It's easy for someone like that to say when there not the one supporting the "family". I think you'd be making a dumb decision and will regret the decision a year to 3 years down the road from now if you go there with her. Something just doesn't seem right imo!!

Just my .02...
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Old 04-27-2010, 05:14 PM   #98
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I've heard Austin is a liberal bastion & hippy playground.

And there'd be them pesky "hook 'em horns" everywhere...

Just say no to all that pain.
We have plenty of conservatives in Austin, naturally. The hippies make for a nice environment. Great food & arts. Fantastic [outdoor] live music every night of the week.

And the Longhorns have a better gameday than the Houston Texans. Guaranteed.
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Old 04-27-2010, 05:29 PM   #99
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Also if she is out of state with the kid is she violating any visitation rights granted to the dad?
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Old 04-27-2010, 05:36 PM   #100
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For some risks that is fine. Not this one imo. Think it through carefully with an eye on what happens if it all goes to s**t what did you give up to end up with that result. If we were talking about the job vs you spending 6 months in Europe I'd say go with your gut and get out of there.
Sometimes the craziest opportunities come out of what happens when everything goes to ****.

As long as you're a hard worker, honest, and have goals you can bounce back from any risk. In fact, if that's your personality I think the biggest risk is not taking one, and being mired in mediocrity.

I'm not sure whether that fit's the OP, that's just more of a life commentary. If you don't have work ethic and ambition, taking risks is stupid.
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