Questions That Haunt Me! - The Orange Mane

oubronco · 12-18-2008, 02:06 PM

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

theAPAOps5 · 12-18-2008, 02:10 PM

yeah I see a thread that says, "thank you for moving that heinous trash that I totally read but don't want to have to face everyday!" any moment now!

NYBronco · 12-18-2008, 02:11 PM

Will Farve really retire after this season?

oubronco · 12-18-2008, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ApaOps5

yeah I see a thread that says, "thank you for moving that heinous trash that I totally read but don't want to have to face everyday!" any moment now!

got tired of the oh sh*t we lost to the panthers threads or we need a new safety and MLB

Bronx33 · 12-18-2008, 02:15 PM

Nothing wrong with some fun reading material it's not hurting anybody.

Hogan11 · 12-18-2008, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bronx33

Nothing wrong with some fun reading material it's not hurting anybody.

Try saying that to one of the "In season mode" brownshirts

Bronx33 · 12-18-2008, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hogan11

Try saying that to one of the "In season mode" brownshirts

Do you know of any wound up that tight?

theAPAOps5 · 12-18-2008, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oubronco

got tired of the oh sh*t we lost to the panthers threads or we need a new safety and MLB

I don't blame you one bit. In fact I like it! I have been avoiding this place since the loss. Most people expected a loss yet they are still b****ing!

Kaylore · 12-18-2008, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hogan11

Try saying that to one of the "In season mode" brownshirts

Was meinen Sie?

Meck77 · 12-18-2008, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bronx33

Nothing wrong with some fun reading material it's not hurting anybody.

Agreed.

Smiling Assassin27 · 12-18-2008, 02:37 PM

this thread could use more boobs...

socalorado · 12-18-2008, 02:38 PM

Taco John · 12-18-2008, 02:55 PM

Every time we've ever taken a vote on whether to allow off topics in the main forum during football season, it's always come in about 2 to 1 to keep the main forum dedicated to Broncos and NFL topics (with few exceptions).

oubronco · 12-18-2008, 03:22 PM

just trying to lighten up the place sorry

Cmac821 · 12-18-2008, 04:56 PM

got me on singing the songs.

ANIMAL24 · 12-18-2008, 05:08 PM

well where are the answers? lol

12-18-2008, 02:06 PM	#1
oubronco John Foneco !! Mile High Magic Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Sooner Country Posts: 20,686	Questions That Haunt Me! If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?' Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

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12-18-2008, 02:10 PM	#2
theAPAOps5 A new beginning! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Denver Posts: 26,128 Adopt-a-Bronco: Watermock - RIP	yeah I see a thread that says, "thank you for moving that heinous trash that I totally read but don't want to have to face everyday!" any moment now!

12-18-2008, 02:11 PM	#3
NYBronco Ring of Famer Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,994	Will Farve really retire after this season?

12-18-2008, 02:15 PM	#5
Bronx33 lets go partner Rumpson Rocks Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Lakewood,Colo Posts: 41,221 Adopt-a-Bronco: Woodyard	Nothing wrong with some fun reading material it's not hurting anybody.

12-18-2008, 02:37 PM	#11
Smiling Assassin27 STOP! KIPER TIME! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: In a van down by the river Posts: 11,104 Adopt-a-Bronco: Von Miller	this thread could use more boobs...

12-18-2008, 02:38 PM	#12
socalorado Ring of Famer Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 5,221

12-18-2008, 02:55 PM	#13
Taco John 24/7 Broncos In Elway I Trust Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 49,742 Adopt-a-Bronco: Peyton Manning	Every time we've ever taken a vote on whether to allow off topics in the main forum during football season, it's always come in about 2 to 1 to keep the main forum dedicated to Broncos and NFL topics (with few exceptions).

12-18-2008, 03:22 PM	#14
oubronco John Foneco !! Mile High Magic Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Sooner Country Posts: 20,686	just trying to lighten up the place sorry

12-18-2008, 04:56 PM	#15
Cmac821 Young Enthusiast I'm that young and you are that old Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Fort Collins Posts: 1,118 Adopt-a-Bronco: John Fox	got me on singing the songs.

12-18-2008, 05:08 PM	#16
ANIMAL24 THE SATISFIER LETS GO DRAFT Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: LONG BEACH Posts: 216 Adopt-a-Bronco: DARIUS WATTS	well where are the answers? lol