Turn your porn down when viewing...

[Dudeskey]

God forbid a neighbor could charge through your door w/ a sword or something

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070221...t_070221183017

CHICAGO (AFP) - A sword-wielding Wisconsin man who rushed to the aid of a woman he thought was being raped in the apartment upstairs was carted off to jail after police discovered his neighbor was just watching porn.

The cries for help pouring through the floorboards sounded far too real to James Van Iveren, who told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that he was just acting on instinct.

"It was a woman screaming," he said in an interview published Wednesday. "She was screaming for help."

Van Iveren, 39, was listening to music in the apartment he shares with his mother when he heard the repeated cries for help.

He grabbed his one-meter (39-inch) long cavalry sword, a family heirloom, rushed up the stairs and broke the door down. A criminal complaint said he then rushed into the room waving the sword at his neighbor and demanding "where is she?"

The neighbor told police that Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he led him throughout the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone.

Van Iveren told the paper that it was not nearly that dramatic and that he left as soon as he realized his mistake.

"Now I feel stupid," Van Iveren said.

Van Iveren, who has been charged with trespassing, property damage and disorderly conduct while using a dangerous weapon, could face up to 33 months in jail.

"All of them are going to be dismissed," he predicted. "They have to.

"This was all just a big mistake."

[Crushaholic]

Somebody's going to have to pay for the door. I'm guessing the intruder pays...

[Dr. Broncenstein]

If I'm the porn fapper, the headline reads: "Sword-weilding burgler dies after being repeatedly shot, skewered with said sword, and thrown out of apartment window into oncoming traffic..."