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Old 10-27-2006, 05:25 PM   #1
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Default The Mock Roast

So the other night, I was looking at one of Mock's posts, and I said to myself, "Self, look at that! Mock's about to hit 60K posts. It'll probably happen this month sometime. That's something you don't see everyday."

So today, I look, and BAM! - he got to 60K and blew past it, in a matter of a day and a half, or so.

You can't stop him. You can only hope to contain him.

So I looked, and as best as I can tell, this was Mock's 60,000th post. It's not Canton-worthy, but it's in many ways a fitting metaphor of all that is Mock. That is, I don't know that I really understand what the heck he is talking about, but it seems like it might be kind of interesting if I think about it long enough - sort of like Immanuel Kant, with varying degrees of coherence.

Anyway, I thought we should roast Mock, in honor of the occasion. Now, I know that not everyone thinks Mock is someone to know (not in a Biblical sense) and love. So I would suggest we keep the comments good-natured. In other words, if you don't have anything good to say (or at least not vitriolic), don't say anything at all.

So what do you say? Mock memories?

I'll give one. At one of the OrangeMane fantasy football drafts this year, Mock mentioned at the beginning of the draft that he was enjoying a *ahem* beverage. By about round eight, Mock goes radio silent with his picks. Breathlessly, we all waited to see if he had ranked his players before the draft.

The clock ticked down...

and down...

and suddenly it expired with Mock taking Neil Rackers.

Okay, a little early for a kicker, but he's arguably the best fantasy kicker out there, so what are you going to say?

Over the next eight rounds, good ol' Mock ended up taking two more kickers (making him the first player in Mane fantasy football history to have three kickers on his roster), a RB that had just been put on IR, a RB that had just been demoted to 3rd string, arguably the worst defense in the league, and a 62-year-old QB.

The draft ended up lasting almost eleven hours, but the monotony was eased by the anticipation of what cast-off the system would give Mock the next round.

Good times.

I, for one, like Mock pretty well. Some of the PMs he's sent me have been all-time keepers. I find myself laughing at some of the bizarre stuff he says, and then surprised (and sort of impressed) that I actually got some strange, vague reference he made.

Here's to you, Mock old boy!
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Old 10-27-2006, 05:29 PM   #2
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STFU
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Old 10-27-2006, 05:30 PM   #3
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Mock, to a million more which is easily in range.
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Old 10-27-2006, 05:31 PM   #4
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Your an idiot!
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Old 10-27-2006, 05:39 PM   #5
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I'll play. One time Mock sent me a PM. (I'm going to share it because it's golden, and not embarassing at all.)

It read:

"Do you know why they call me Watermock? It's because I'm a sinner."
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Old 10-27-2006, 05:40 PM   #6
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I will tell you one thing, If I had to chose one person to have a beer (or ten) with on this board, it would be Mock. That crazy ass old cooter would have me in stitches with all his wild tales. You know it would be interesting.

Mock is the type of person who curses out the whole bar and ends up getting in a fight with the bathroom stall. Good times.
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Old 10-27-2006, 05:40 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendejo View Post
I'll play. One time Mock sent me a PM. (I'm going to share it because it's golden, and not embarassing at all.)

It read:

"Do you know why they call me Watermock? It's because I'm a sinner."
Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!
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Old 10-27-2006, 05:42 PM   #8
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"Your an idiot"

"rediculous"
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Old 10-27-2006, 05:54 PM   #9
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Racist! oh wait, we're being nice, erm, I got nuthin...
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Old 10-27-2006, 05:55 PM   #10
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Mock is my hero.
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Old 10-27-2006, 06:02 PM   #11
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Mock is my hero.
Ugh. I'm not sure if that's a compliment, considering the source.
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Old 10-27-2006, 06:06 PM   #12
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Your an idiot!
When is VBB coming out with grammar check?
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Old 10-27-2006, 06:11 PM   #13
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A few people had pissed Mock off one time and he fired off a stream of invective that was utterly hilarious.

The line I really liked, as best as I can remember, went something like this:

"You think you're ready to play ball with me, dimwit? Let's go. I'll kick it into your face!"

I was on the floor.

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Old 10-27-2006, 06:25 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -Slap- View Post
"You think you're ready to play ball with me, dimwit? Let's go. I'll kick it into your face!"
That may be the only instance in his 60,000+ posts in which he used the word "your" properly.
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Old 10-27-2006, 06:27 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clockwork Orange View Post
That may be the only instance in his 60,000+ posts in which he used the word "your" properly.

I think you meant "you're." Oh, that's right, he never used that word.
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Old 10-27-2006, 06:30 PM   #16
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Then this one time, I ate the crumbs off of my car floor
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Old 10-27-2006, 07:22 PM   #17
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I like it when he was claiming his grandfathers were 5 star generals and won WW2
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Old 10-27-2006, 07:30 PM   #18
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Since me and Mock settled our little issue, I've really come to like the guy. 1 on 1 he's surprisingly one of the nicest guys you'll talk to and his quirks just make him all that more likable. Once you get to know the guy, it's hard not to like him.

So here's to you, Mock, and 60,000 posts of pure comedy.
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Old 10-27-2006, 08:14 PM   #19
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Actually, General Kruger was relieved of duty for objecting to McArthurs obbsession with the Phillipines. And I never said he was a 5 star general.

He felt that a war of attrition wasn't the right way to reduce American casualties. As General of the Southern Command in Australia, he protected that guy till he could jump in the the water like he was taking the Phillipines back, the whole thing was orchestrated for the media.

Want to know another thing? The Phillipines were never taken, a little known fact. The war ended before they were cleared. They had no strategic value, other than to comfort McArthurs bruised ego. We should of just gone for the throat by taking Okinowa and skipping the island hopping like Tarawa and Iwo Jima. It's called a flanking manuver. There was no reason to do that, and Nimitz couldn't stand him (McArthur)...he felt that his fleet could cut the head off the snake and simply cut off the enemies supplies and allow them to die on the vine.

60+K posts is a rather dubious honor. I'm not exactly spending my time for the elderly or serving in Iraq. I do think this place is the best sports forum on the planet, with some very knowlegable folks, who generally know 10x what the east coast talking heads present as "insider" information. We are so hard wired into this team we can literally sense things like if Jake has a case of the sinffles. Or is going blind.

Big games for the Broncos and Hornheads this week. HUGE game for Denver. A win puts us in first place in the conference I think. Of course, we never make it easy on ourselves....We ARE favored in Vegas...that's why the talkin' heads all picked against us. f*** em. Go Broncos!

Last edited by watermock; 10-27-2006 at 08:17 PM..
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Old 10-27-2006, 08:19 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by watermock View Post
...Or is going blind.
That's what my mom told me would happen when I lived in the Philippines.
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Old 10-27-2006, 08:21 PM   #21
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Nit pickin' horse. Fix your post dimwit. I've always been a piss poor and lazy speeliar.
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Old 10-27-2006, 08:26 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -Slap- View Post
A few people had pissed Mock off one time and he fired off a stream of invective that was utterly hilarious.

The line I really liked, as best as I can remember, went something like this:

"You think you're ready to play ball with me, dimwit? Let's go. I'll kick it into your face!"

I was on the floor.

I was too...that line is classic.

The guy is alright by me...honest to a fault really and he did buy my Griese away jersey from me for a whopping 25 smacks...a transaction that, to this day, he's never let me live down.
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Old 10-27-2006, 08:29 PM   #23
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You can't roast a man that has already been stir-fried.
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Old 10-27-2006, 08:32 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by watermock View Post
Nit pickin' horse. Fix your post dimwit. I've always been a piss poor and lazy speeliar.
Alright, I was first to get a "dimwit!"
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Old 10-27-2006, 08:39 PM   #25
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Want to know what put insult to injury? My crazy ex-girlfriend claimed it without even asking. That woman could curse the Virgin Mary.
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