The Mock Roast - The Orange Mane

DomCasual · 10-27-2006, 05:25 PM

So the other night, I was looking at one of Mock's posts, and I said to myself, "Self, look at that! Mock's about to hit 60K posts. It'll probably happen this month sometime. That's something you don't see everyday."

So today, I look, and BAM! - he got to 60K and blew past it, in a matter of a day and a half, or so.

You can't stop him. You can only hope to contain him.

So I looked, and as best as I can tell, this was Mock's 60,000th post. It's not Canton-worthy, but it's in many ways a fitting metaphor of all that is Mock. That is, I don't know that I really understand what the heck he is talking about, but it seems like it might be kind of interesting if I think about it long enough - sort of like Immanuel Kant, with varying degrees of coherence.

Anyway, I thought we should roast Mock, in honor of the occasion. Now, I know that not everyone thinks Mock is someone to know (not in a Biblical sense) and love. So I would suggest we keep the comments good-natured. In other words, if you don't have anything good to say (or at least not vitriolic), don't say anything at all.

So what do you say? Mock memories?

I'll give one. At one of the OrangeMane fantasy football drafts this year, Mock mentioned at the beginning of the draft that he was enjoying a *ahem* beverage. By about round eight, Mock goes radio silent with his picks. Breathlessly, we all waited to see if he had ranked his players before the draft.

The clock ticked down...

and down...

and suddenly it expired with Mock taking Neil Rackers.

Okay, a little early for a kicker, but he's arguably the best fantasy kicker out there, so what are you going to say?

Over the next eight rounds, good ol' Mock ended up taking two more kickers (making him the first player in Mane fantasy football history to have three kickers on his roster), a RB that had just been put on IR, a RB that had just been demoted to 3rd string, arguably the worst defense in the league, and a 62-year-old QB.

The draft ended up lasting almost eleven hours, but the monotony was eased by the anticipation of what cast-off the system would give Mock the next round.

Good times.

I, for one, like Mock pretty well. Some of the PMs he's sent me have been all-time keepers. I find myself laughing at some of the bizarre stuff he says, and then surprised (and sort of impressed) that I actually got some strange, vague reference he made.

Here's to you, Mock old boy!

GonzoLays · 10-27-2006, 05:29 PM

rbackfactory80 · 10-27-2006, 05:30 PM

Mock, to a million more which is easily in range.

GonzoLays · 10-27-2006, 05:31 PM

Your an idiot!

Pendejo · 10-27-2006, 05:39 PM

I'll play. One time Mock sent me a PM. (I'm going to share it because it's golden, and not embarassing at all.)

It read:

"Do you know why they call me Watermock? It's because I'm a sinner."

GonzoLays · 10-27-2006, 05:40 PM

I will tell you one thing, If I had to chose one person to have a beer (or ten) with on this board, it would be Mock. That crazy ass old cooter would have me in stitches with all his wild tales. You know it would be interesting.

Mock is the type of person who curses out the whole bar and ends up getting in a fight with the bathroom stall. Good times.

DomCasual · 10-27-2006, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pendejo

I'll play. One time Mock sent me a PM. (I'm going to share it because it's golden, and not embarassing at all.)

It read:

"Do you know why they call me Watermock? It's because I'm a sinner."

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!

SprintRightOption · 10-27-2006, 05:42 PM

"Your an idiot"

"rediculous"

Dagmar · 10-27-2006, 05:54 PM

Racist! oh wait, we're being nice, erm, I got nuthin...

Bob's your Information Minister · 10-27-2006, 05:55 PM

Mock is my hero.

DomCasual · 10-27-2006, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob's your Information Minister

Mock is my hero.

Ugh. I'm not sure if that's a compliment, considering the source.

penguintheory · 10-27-2006, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GonzoLays

Your an idiot!

When is VBB coming out with grammar check?

-Slap- · 10-27-2006, 06:11 PM

A few people had pissed Mock off one time and he fired off a stream of invective that was utterly hilarious.

The line I really liked, as best as I can remember, went something like this:

"You think you're ready to play ball with me, dimwit? Let's go. I'll kick it into your face!"

I was on the floor.

Clockwork Orange · 10-27-2006, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -Slap-

"You think you're ready to play ball with me, dimwit? Let's go. I'll kick it into your face!"

That may be the only instance in his 60,000+ posts in which he used the word "your" properly.

broncogary · 10-27-2006, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clockwork Orange

That may be the only instance in his 60,000+ posts in which he used the word "your" properly.

I think you meant "you're." Oh, that's right, he never used that word.

The Mole · 10-27-2006, 06:30 PM

Once, I peed on my wallpaper.
Then this one time, I ate the crumbs off of my car floor
The bird has wings

elsid13 · 10-27-2006, 07:22 PM

I like it when he was claiming his grandfathers were 5 star generals and won WW2

Florida_Bronco · 10-27-2006, 07:30 PM

Since me and Mock settled our little issue, I've really come to like the guy. 1 on 1 he's surprisingly one of the nicest guys you'll talk to and his quirks just make him all that more likable. Once you get to know the guy, it's hard not to like him.

So here's to you, Mock, and 60,000 posts of pure comedy.

watermock · 10-27-2006, 08:14 PM

Actually, General Kruger was relieved of duty for objecting to McArthurs obbsession with the Phillipines. And I never said he was a 5 star general.

He felt that a war of attrition wasn't the right way to reduce American casualties. As General of the Southern Command in Australia, he protected that guy till he could jump in the the water like he was taking the Phillipines back, the whole thing was orchestrated for the media.

Want to know another thing? The Phillipines were never taken, a little known fact. The war ended before they were cleared. They had no strategic value, other than to comfort McArthurs bruised ego. We should of just gone for the throat by taking Okinowa and skipping the island hopping like Tarawa and Iwo Jima. It's called a flanking manuver. There was no reason to do that, and Nimitz couldn't stand him (McArthur)...he felt that his fleet could cut the head off the snake and simply cut off the enemies supplies and allow them to die on the vine.

60+K posts is a rather dubious honor. I'm not exactly spending my time for the elderly or serving in Iraq. I do think this place is the best sports forum on the planet, with some very knowlegable folks, who generally know 10x what the east coast talking heads present as "insider" information. We are so hard wired into this team we can literally sense things like if Jake has a case of the sinffles. Or is going blind.

Big games for the Broncos and Hornheads this week. HUGE game for Denver. A win puts us in first place in the conference I think. Of course, we never make it easy on ourselves....We ARE favored in Vegas...that's why the talkin' heads all picked against us. f*** em. Go Broncos!

broncogary · 10-27-2006, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by watermock

...Or is going blind.

That's what my mom told me would happen when I lived in the Philippines.

watermock · 10-27-2006, 08:21 PM

Nit pickin' horse. Fix your post dimwit. I've always been a piss poor and lazy speeliar.

Hogan11 · 10-27-2006, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -Slap-

A few people had pissed Mock off one time and he fired off a stream of invective that was utterly hilarious.

The line I really liked, as best as I can remember, went something like this:

"You think you're ready to play ball with me, dimwit? Let's go. I'll kick it into your face!"

I was on the floor.

I was too...that line is classic.

The guy is alright by me...honest to a fault really and he did buy my Griese away jersey from me for a whopping 25 smacks...a transaction that, to this day, he's never let me live down.

Arkansas Bronco · 10-27-2006, 08:29 PM

You can't roast a man that has already been stir-fried.

broncogary · 10-27-2006, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by watermock

Nit pickin' horse. Fix your post dimwit. I've always been a piss poor and lazy speeliar.

Alright, I was first to get a "dimwit!"

watermock · 10-27-2006, 08:39 PM

Want to know what put insult to injury? My crazy ex-girlfriend claimed it without even asking. That woman could curse the Virgin Mary.

10-27-2006, 05:25 PM	#1
DomCasual The Dude abides. Shameless Homer Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Cocytus Posts: 13,173 Adopt-a-Bronco: Gus Frerotte	The Mock Roast So the other night, I was looking at one of Mock's posts, and I said to myself, "Self, look at that! Mock's about to hit 60K posts. It'll probably happen this month sometime. That's something you don't see everyday." So today, I look, and BAM! - he got to 60K and blew past it, in a matter of a day and a half, or so. You can't stop him. You can only hope to contain him. So I looked, and as best as I can tell, this was Mock's 60,000th post. It's not Canton-worthy, but it's in many ways a fitting metaphor of all that is Mock. That is, I don't know that I really understand what the heck he is talking about, but it seems like it might be kind of interesting if I think about it long enough - sort of like Immanuel Kant, with varying degrees of coherence. Anyway, I thought we should roast Mock, in honor of the occasion. Now, I know that not everyone thinks Mock is someone to know (not in a Biblical sense) and love. So I would suggest we keep the comments good-natured. In other words, if you don't have anything good to say (or at least not vitriolic), don't say anything at all. So what do you say? Mock memories? I'll give one. At one of the OrangeMane fantasy football drafts this year, Mock mentioned at the beginning of the draft that he was enjoying a ahem beverage. By about round eight, Mock goes radio silent with his picks. Breathlessly, we all waited to see if he had ranked his players before the draft. The clock ticked down... and down... and suddenly it expired with Mock taking Neil Rackers. Okay, a little early for a kicker, but he's arguably the best fantasy kicker out there, so what are you going to say? Over the next eight rounds, good ol' Mock ended up taking two more kickers (making him the first player in Mane fantasy football history to have three kickers on his roster), a RB that had just been put on IR, a RB that had just been demoted to 3rd string, arguably the worst defense in the league, and a 62-year-old QB. The draft ended up lasting almost eleven hours, but the monotony was eased by the anticipation of what cast-off the system would give Mock the next round. Good times. I, for one, like Mock pretty well. Some of the PMs he's sent me have been all-time keepers. I find myself laughing at some of the bizarre stuff he says, and then surprised (and sort of impressed) that I actually got some strange, vague reference he made. Here's to you, Mock old boy!

10-27-2006, 05:29 PM	#2
GonzoLays Five Tool Poster Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 5,650 Adopt-a-Bronco: #3 DJ	STFU

10-27-2006, 08:14 PM	#19
watermock "Hoodie Jr" "Hug me!" Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Hot Springs, Ouachitah Posts: 77,090	Actually, General Kruger was relieved of duty for objecting to McArthurs obbsession with the Phillipines. And I never said he was a 5 star general. He felt that a war of attrition wasn't the right way to reduce American casualties. As General of the Southern Command in Australia, he protected that guy till he could jump in the the water like he was taking the Phillipines back, the whole thing was orchestrated for the media. Want to know another thing? The Phillipines were never taken, a little known fact. The war ended before they were cleared. They had no strategic value, other than to comfort McArthurs bruised ego. We should of just gone for the throat by taking Okinowa and skipping the island hopping like Tarawa and Iwo Jima. It's called a flanking manuver. There was no reason to do that, and Nimitz couldn't stand him (McArthur)...he felt that his fleet could cut the head off the snake and simply cut off the enemies supplies and allow them to die on the vine. 60+K posts is a rather dubious honor. I'm not exactly spending my time for the elderly or serving in Iraq. I do think this place is the best sports forum on the planet, with some very knowlegable folks, who generally know 10x what the east coast talking heads present as "insider" information. We are so hard wired into this team we can literally sense things like if Jake has a case of the sinffles. Or is going blind. Big games for the Broncos and Hornheads this week. HUGE game for Denver. A win puts us in first place in the conference I think. Of course, we never make it easy on ourselves....We ARE favored in Vegas...that's why the talkin' heads all picked against us. f*** em. Go Broncos! Last edited by watermock; 10-27-2006 at 08:17 PM..

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10-27-2006, 05:30 PM	#3
rbackfactory80 Ring of Famer Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New York Posts: 4,614	Mock, to a million more which is easily in range.

10-27-2006, 05:31 PM	#4
GonzoLays Five Tool Poster Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 5,650 Adopt-a-Bronco: #3 DJ	Your an idiot!

10-27-2006, 05:39 PM	#5
Pendejo The off-season. Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 2,946 Adopt-a-Bronco: "The Greek"	I'll play. One time Mock sent me a PM. (I'm going to share it because it's golden, and not embarassing at all.) It read: "Do you know why they call me Watermock? It's because I'm a sinner."

10-27-2006, 05:40 PM	#6
GonzoLays Five Tool Poster Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 5,650 Adopt-a-Bronco: #3 DJ	I will tell you one thing, If I had to chose one person to have a beer (or ten) with on this board, it would be Mock. That crazy ass old cooter would have me in stitches with all his wild tales. You know it would be interesting. Mock is the type of person who curses out the whole bar and ends up getting in a fight with the bathroom stall. Good times.

10-27-2006, 05:42 PM	#8
SprintRightOption Back on track in 08 Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 391	"Your an idiot" "rediculous"

10-27-2006, 05:54 PM	#9
Dagmar ...there ain't no devil ..there's just God when he's drunk. Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Morrison Posts: 17,132 Adopt-a-Bronco: Tim Tebow	Racist! oh wait, we're being nice, erm, I got nuthin...

10-27-2006, 05:55 PM	#10
Bob's your Information Minister Chiefs > Broncos Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 25,921 Adopt-a-Bronco: CHRIS KUPER!!!	Mock is my hero.

10-27-2006, 06:11 PM	#13
-Slap- Ring of Famer Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 31,895	A few people had pissed Mock off one time and he fired off a stream of invective that was utterly hilarious. The line I really liked, as best as I can remember, went something like this: "You think you're ready to play ball with me, dimwit? Let's go. I'll kick it into your face!" I was on the floor.

10-27-2006, 06:30 PM	#16
The Mole Chomolungma Tenzig Norgay Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Climbing for knowledge Posts: 228	Once, I peed on my wallpaper. Then this one time, I ate the crumbs off of my car floor The bird has wings

10-27-2006, 07:22 PM	#17
elsid13 Lost In Space Bóg, Honor, Ojczyzna Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: DC Posts: 19,090	I like it when he was claiming his grandfathers were 5 star generals and won WW2

10-27-2006, 07:30 PM	#18
Florida_Bronco Got trolls? Welcome to Mile High, Brady! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Tampa Bay Posts: 13,810 Adopt-a-Bronco: Brady Quinn	Since me and Mock settled our little issue, I've really come to like the guy. 1 on 1 he's surprisingly one of the nicest guys you'll talk to and his quirks just make him all that more likable. Once you get to know the guy, it's hard not to like him. So here's to you, Mock, and 60,000 posts of pure comedy.

10-27-2006, 08:21 PM	#21
watermock "Hoodie Jr" "Hug me!" Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Hot Springs, Ouachitah Posts: 77,090	Nit pickin' horse. Fix your post dimwit. I've always been a piss poor and lazy speeliar.

10-27-2006, 08:29 PM	#23
Arkansas Bronco Ring of Famer Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 5,237 Adopt-a-Bronco: Ryan Clady	You can't roast a man that has already been stir-fried.

10-27-2006, 08:39 PM	#25
watermock "Hoodie Jr" "Hug me!" Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Hot Springs, Ouachitah Posts: 77,090	Want to know what put insult to injury? My crazy ex-girlfriend claimed it without even asking. That woman could curse the Virgin Mary.