|08-22-2003, 03:56 PM||#1|
Join Date: Sep 2002
How John Elway created the world
I got rapped up in a debate with a religious wacko on another board. I was trying to prove a point that there are hundreds of religions in the world that people choose to believe in and that his particular views may not work for 4.5 billion people on our planet. So I came up with my own to try and make light of the debate over there that some of you might appreicate......
1 In the beginning John Elway created the heavens and Mile High Stadium.
2 Now the Stadium  formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of John was hovering over the Rockies.
3 And John said, "Let there be Football," and there was Football. 4 John saw that the football was good, and he separated the Broncos from the Raiders. 5 John called the Broncos good," and the darkness he called Raiders" And there was evening, and there was morning-the first day.
6 And John said, "Let there be an expanse between Mile High Stadium to separate Good from Evil." 7 So John made the expanse and separated Oakland from Denver. And it was so. 8 John called the expanse the seperation of Upper Class living with the Ghetto. And there was evening, and there was morning-the second day.
9 And John said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and be transformed to BEER at Coor's Brewery. And it was so. 10 John called the dry ground Oakland" and then gathered all the trash and crack and put it there ." And John saw that it was good there.
11 Then John said, "Let the land Denver produce Superbowl victories: And it was so. 12 . And John saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning-the third day.
14 And God said, "Let there be lights in Mile High so we could have Monday night football, and let them serve as signs to mark football seasons so everyone would know when it is time to kick the living shiat out of the Raiders. 15 and let there be lights in the parking lot so we can see when my followers tailgate." And it was so. 16 John made two great lights-the greater light to govern the Stadium and the lesser light to govern the parking lot. He also made the pro-bowl. 17 John set light next to Bucky (the horse that sits on top of the South side of the staium) to light Mile High and the parking lot, 18 . And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning-the fourth day.
20 And John said, "Let the Raiders Suck" And it was so. 21 So John created Jake Plummer, Rod Smith Eddie Mac, Clinton Portis to make sure. And John saw that it was good. 22 John blessed them and said, "Kick Ass and increase the number of Bronco Fans. 23 And there was evening, and there was morning-the fifth day.
24 And John said, "Let Denver produce beautiful young women and the Oakland fans should only mate according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. 25 John moved the Gangsters to Oakland and called them second class citizens according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And John saw that it was good.
26 Then John said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the Raiders and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth,  and over all the creatures that move along the ground."
27 So God created Meck 77 in his own image.
in the image of John he created him;
male and female he created them.
28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be Bronco Fans and increase in number; fill Mile High and cheer in your church. Rule over the the scum bag Raiders.
29 Then John said, "I give you every offensive and defensive weapon to crush Oakland. They will be yours to embarss them. 30 And to all the Fans of Mile High I give you hod dogs and burgers for food." And it was so.
31 John saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning-the sixth day.
On the seventh Day John sat on the couch drank a coors and watched the Broncos beat Oakland.
Last edited by Meck77; 08-22-2003 at 04:23 PM..