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Old 12-13-2012, 01:26 PM   #1
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:43 PM   #2
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Pete Carroll is a douche

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I would be John Elway so I could watch the Broncos, draft or sign players, tell everyone what to do and then go home and nail a Raiders Cheerleader.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:44 PM   #3
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Peyton. $$$$

I'd write a check to myself for 50 million, then I'd hire the best hos in the world, raw dog it all and the next day I'd be back in my STD free body and MY penis didn't do anything wrong.

I'd also go **** with people as Peyton Manning.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:51 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by TheReverend View Post
Peyton. $$$$

I'd write a check to myself for 50 million, then I'd hire the best hos in the world, raw dog it all and the next day I'd be back in my STD free body and MY penis didn't do anything wrong.

I'd also go **** with people as Peyton Manning.
This post is amazing and awful all at once.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:57 PM   #5
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This post is amazing and awful all at once.
And yet I have to give it Rep becuase he beat me to it.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:01 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Kaylore View Post
This post is amazing and awful all at once.


Can you imagine?

Go tell Bowlen you're retiring midseason... and that it's Fox's fault.
Tell Decker he'll get 2x as many passes if you have sex with his wife.
Call Elway overrated just to see his reaction.
Make dinner plans with DJ and McCoy and then no show... but hide and watch them awkwardly try to hang out.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:17 PM   #7
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Can you imagine?

Go tell Bowlen you're retiring midseason... and that it's Fox's fault.
Tell Decker he'll get 2x as many passes if you have sex with his wife.
Call Elway overrated just to see his reaction.
Make dinner plans with DJ and McCoy and then no show... but hide and watch them awkwardly try to hang out.
The only thing I would do on this list is hide and watch people watching me hide from McCoy and DJ.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:19 PM   #8
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The only thing I would do on this list is hide and watch people watching me hide from McCoy and DJ.


"...why is Peyton Manning hiding in the corner with a fake mustache...?"
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Old 12-13-2012, 10:21 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by TheReverend View Post
Peyton. $$$$

I'd write a check to myself for 50 million, then I'd hire the best hos in the world, raw dog it all and the next day I'd be back in my STD free body and MY penis didn't do anything wrong.

I'd also go **** with people as Peyton Manning.

Its not gay if its with Peyton's tackle?


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Old 12-13-2012, 01:45 PM   #10
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Options:

1) Whoever is the highest paid.

2) Whoever is banging the hottest woman/women.

3) Combination of 1 & 2 (your choice of tradeoff between amount of money and hotness of the women)
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:52 PM   #11
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Von Miller bangs porn stars

Was this question really necessary?
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:00 PM   #12
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Matt Prater, duh
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:03 PM   #13
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I'd be Pat Bowlen, first thing I'd do is contact Pat's attorney and change his will, leaving a majority of the team to me, along with a sizeable chunk of cash. Then I'd bring in some lovely ladies and hit up Pat's liquor cabinet. Maybe go somewhere on the team jet, like Vegas and have one hell of a party.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:09 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoHAM View Post
I'd be Pat Bowlen, first thing I'd do is contact Pat's attorney and change his will, leaving a majority of the team to me, along with a sizeable chunk of cash. Then I'd bring in some lovely ladies and hit up Pat's liquor cabinet. Maybe go somewhere on the team jet, like Vegas and have one hell of a party.
^ good luck trying to do anything with them.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:13 PM   #15
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^ good luck trying to do anything with them.
I'm pretty certain Pat Bowlen has a ****ton of viagra/cialis.


I'm sure this thread gets Orangemane back media credentials next camp!
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:11 PM   #16
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This is difficult, I would want to be Chris Kuper to talk to Kupesdad and mess with Khan by fake drunk-calling him. I would want to be DJ Williams to tell socal he is awesome and make his day. I would want to be Wesley Woodyard just to feel how it is to be a better man in every aspect of life. I would want to be Eric Decker to see just how many chicks a white guy can bang in Colorado. I would want to be Champ Bailey to feel what it is like to be superhuman.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:50 PM   #17
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Eric Decker.

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Old 12-13-2012, 04:30 PM   #18
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Peyton Manning, but it has to be on payday.....be set for life with one game check.
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:44 PM   #19
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i was like who started this lame thread, but now that i see who it makes sense. After all this is coming from the lil fella who uses coaches as a position in his fantasy league. Whats your next great idea? 5 points for whatever team wins the toss?
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Old 12-13-2012, 10:00 PM   #20
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Old 12-13-2012, 10:15 PM   #21
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thread is in dire need of that halloween picture of mitch unrein and his girl
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Old 12-13-2012, 10:19 PM   #22
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Eric Decker....write myself a decent check.

have sex with 10 girls at once
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Old 12-14-2012, 10:11 AM   #23
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I'd be Joel Dreessen, so I could legally change his first name to Ranch.

**** you, I think I'm funny.
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:40 AM   #24
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I'd be Joel Dreessen, so I could legally change his first name to Ranch.

**** you, I think I'm funny.
That was a drunken realization while dipping Papa John's into ranch sauce whilst watching a game, wasn't it?
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:08 PM   #25
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That was a drunken realization while dipping Papa John's into ranch sauce whilst watching a game, wasn't it?
Maybe.
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