Mo' holla fo' yo' dolla!
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: In a bunker in an undisclosed location
Bush won't send his kids — why should you?
By Rich Procter
Karl Rove slandered Democrats again yesterday. He said, "Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers." Wow! Chickenhawk Karl Rove, who couldn't be bothered serving in Vietnam, has morphed into one fierce warrior! These Republicans love war, don't they? The fierce rhetoric, the fancy uniforms, the manly poses, the steely gazes. Just about the only thing Republicans don't love is the actual warfare itself - you know, "defeating the enemy" and stuff. That's icky! That's why they avoid it so vigorously.
What is one to make of our current crisis in Iraq? Month after month, armed forces recruiters are failing to meet their quotas. These same Republicans who love to call Democrats traitors and appeasers refuse to lift a finger to solve this situation.
Has Rush Limbaugh urged his tens of millions of listeners to hustle right down to their local recruiting station and get in on some of that "mopping up" action in the glorious parade to victory in newly Democratic Iraq? No.
Sean Hannity? Bill O'Reilly? Has James "Focus On Family" Dobson urged his followers to enlist? After all, on March 21, 2003, he said, "Saddam Hussein must be stopped. Appeasement of tyrants is never successful!" James, America needs your followers in uniform! It's a damn crisis! Why won't you lift a finger?
Hey, what the heck, George W. Bush his own bad self has two daughters. Why aren't they in the Army? Is their endless nocturnal quest for the perfect trashcan margarita really more important than stopping Islamofascism in the Middle East?
Even Ray Charles, who is both blind and dead, can see why recruitment is down. It's because we're getting our ass kicked in Iraq, and potential recruits (correctly) perceive that the Bushies think that anyone who signs up for military service is a sucker.
Yes, the Bushies love to lob 20 megaton bombast. If words were bullets, Iraq would be our 51st state, and there'd be a Wal-Mart on every Baghdad street corner. Every time George Bush opens his mouth, he's blathering about our "commitment" to bring democracy to the Middle East. We all know actions speak louder than words. So what do the actions of the Bush Administration tell us? Wellllllllll......
"We're gonna start a war, and we're gonna lie about why we're getting in. Don't worry, we'll "fix" the data later. We're gonna use the war to win the 2002 mid-terms, so we can get some more tax cuts for our business buds. And after the suckers who bought our lies find out we fibbed, we're gonna change the reason we're there, and dare the press to call us on it. Oh, and one more thing - we're gonna use the war to blackjack the Democrats every chance we get."
"We're not gonna squander money on body armor for the dumb bastards who sign up. If they want that stuff, their folks can buy it for 'em. Hell, we got other priorities - like "losing" 8.8 billion dollars that's somehow gonna end up in the pockets of Republican donor/private contractors."
"We're not gonna bother protecting any o' them Iraqi ammo dumps. Hell, what's the worst that can happen? Them terrorists can steal a couple of tons of RDX and use it to blow up our troops. So?"
"If somebody gets injured, we're gonna charge 'em for their meals in the VA Hospital. Hell, you think we're made o' money? Damn free-loaders."
"If some dumb bastard gets himself killed, we're sure as hell not gonna let the local news show his flag-draped coffin coming home. That would make us look bad! And don't even think about the President wasting his precious "mountain bike" time at a military funeral! What a bring-down! Hide them bodies, and that's an order!"
"Oh, and one more thing. If one of these soldiers ever decides to run for office, you can make damn sure we're gonna use his service against him. Need proof? Lookit what we did to John Kerry. We're gonna ridicule his idiotic decision to enlist, make fun of any decorations he gets under fire, and trash him for - what else - not having the simple common sense God gave George Bush, Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, Tom Delay, Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, and every other Great Warrior in the Bush Administration. The military is for suckers, pal."
This war was a tons o' fun when it was a Fox News Shock N' Awe TV Spectacular, complete with Presidential Aircraft Carrier Photo Op Goodness. But that party is over, and the Bushies need a whole bunch of new suckers. They've shown they won't spend a penny of political capital going to their Young Republican "Future Pharmaceutical Lobbyists of America" base. So whose left? Oh yeah - the weak-willed, traitorous appeasers on the left. Good luck recruiting them, Mr. President.