Well, Spide, we're here for ya!
I've been out of high school 20 years this year, but these things may rush back to me like bad dreams........quadratic equations........y=mx+b......s,p,d,f orbitals in chemistry....9.8 meters/second squared.......
Maybe it will give us new stuff to argue about.
You could have some fun with it by making up your own word problems like:
Chef fan lives in a trailer park with 240 trailers. Half of the trailers are double-wide and have twice as many wheels as a standard trailer. A standard trailer has 8 wheels. If Raider fan slashes all the tires on all the trailers in the trailer park, how many tires has he slashed?