From Back to School.
"Are you fat? When you jog do you leave potholes? When you go to the zoo, do elephants throw you peanuts? Do you look at a menu and say, OK?"
"Here's a pen in case you learn to write."
"They're not so tough. The football team at my high school was tough. After they sacked the quarterback they went after his family."
"I'm looking for the fountain of middle-age."
"Great teacher, he really seems to care. About what I have no idea."