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Old 12-09-2013, 09:20 AM   #129
houghtam
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Join Date: Jul 2006
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Time for this thread to go byebye.





So, although I'm a huge fan of barbecue, I'm not going to lie...since like I said, I'm not much a cook, I don't know much about it other than it tastes yummy in my tummy. However, I'm going to take a moment to speak to you about one foodstuff I DO know about.

Cereal!

What makes you think you know so much about cereal, Houghtam? I'm sure you're asking yourself this very question. Well, I'm from Michigan, damnit. Battle Creek? Cereal City? Kellogg's? Ever heard of em? Yeah, so I'm pretty much an expert.

Now, everyone knows that one of the best cereals out there is Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries. The roof of my mouth be damned, those little blue and red berries have been giving my tastebuds metaphorical blowjobs for decades. It wasn't until recently, when we were shopping in an Aldi, that I discovered Berry Kids Krunch, by Millville.

Now, at first, I was confused. The cereal looked the same. Same golden crisps as a base that feel like caltrops in your mouth, but taste divine. Same red and blue berry crisps that are a taste explosion when mixed with your milk catalyst. But the name...Kids Berry Crunch. Could such a wonderful cereal be contained in the box with a name right from Spock's homeworld, devoid of any imagination or emotion whatsoever?

Is it possible, I thought, that there is some sort of monopoly or copyright protection on nautical-themed fruity breakfast cereals? Why not something like Lieutenant (pronounced the British way, of course) von Crunchenheimer's Crispy Fruit?

Doesn't seem right to me to waste such an opportunity.

But anyway, after speaking to a representative from Aldi, they told me that it's a derivative, and it basically comes from the same manufacturer. Not possible, I say, because there is no way the good people at Quaker would allow someone to one up their best (and quite possible THE best) cereal product out there.

So there you have it.

If you're in an Aldi, try the Lieutenant von Crunchenheimer's... It'll knock your socks off and give you severe lacerations along your hard palate with the best of them, and for a fraction of the price!
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