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Old 08-24-2013, 05:52 PM   #2
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Earlier this week, my boss calls me into her office and tells me she is tired of manually entering the contract employees payroll invoice data into an Excel spreadsheet that she hands over to her boss on a weekly basis. She tells me to contact the staffing agencies and see if they can format their Excel invoice reports in the same format so she can simply paste it all into one worksheet and pooff, her report is done in minutes. Thinking this would be a piece of cake, I excitedly told her, "No problem. I'll take care of it."

I then proceed to contact all three staffing agency to see if they could all format their invoices exactly the same.

Surprisingly, they all said no. Basically, they all said my company was just one of their 100s of clients and they can't format their invoices differently for each one - especially a mid-size firm like Employment is Enjoyment (stage name). Ouch. Thanks.

I go back to my boss and let her know that the agencies will not put all the invoices in the same format. Thinking that was the end of the that, I begin to get up when she says, "That's fine. Get Frank in Apps and tell him to write some code in Excel that when you paste all three invoices into the same worksheet, it will format all the data to the look the same and place the information in sheet 2. On Sheet 2, the column field headers should be, in order, 'Date', 'Last Name', 'First Name', 'Complete Name', 'Project', 'Rate', 'Hours Worked', 'OT Hours', 'OT Rate' and 'Total Pay'. From there, tell him import it into an Access database so I can archive it and search the data." Not a prob. Let me go see Frank. Don't know Frank, don't know his department, but he is the app guy. Frank is gonna knock this out. Wrong. Frank tells me my boss has to get clearance through his boss for him to work on a project other than the one that he is currently assigned to. Not a pleasant guy that Frank was either. He seem very irritated by my mere presence much less my request.

Once again, I go back to my boss and let her know about Frank. She says, "**** Frank. You do it." I was like, huh? Does this woman know that I have no clue how to do this? That my only programming experience was 15 years ago when I made a Geocities homepage that had nothing but moving objects like a bouncing basketball and a troll that fell over repeatedly?

Fearing for my job, I said, "Sure, I can do it." She then says, "I need it next Monday." WTF?

Knowing the furious nature of my boss when her employees do not execute the tasks assigned to them, picturing my pregnant wife in my mind's eye, and remembering that this low level job is the only legitimate work I could get after being laid off three years ago, I furiously get to work. Burning the midnight oil, I make a craptastic Access Database - ugly forms, table relationships that makes even Access laugh, and duplicative data everywhere. But it works-sort of.

Then I get to work on trying to standardizing the names in Excel so it will match the fields set in Access. I buy a book on Excel Macros - might as well be written in Chinese - no help; I search the web high low for the code that will do this for me - can't find one. Desperately, I try to write broken ass script after broken ass script...nothing works.

I then reach out to three remaining friends I have in a last ditched attempt for help, but as suspected, they kept the convos centered on fantasy football and stated that don't even know what VBA is much less how to help me with it. That leads me here. Having approximately 38 hours left before I have to demo this for my boss, I have come seeking help from my fellow Broncos brothers.

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