A friend of mine had a condo and his next door neighbor was a single lady with a non-livein boyfriend. Every time he came over they would start into arguments right away, within 5 minutes. Not violent arguments, but loud and crude. They'd spill out to the back yard, the front yard.
One time they argued for about two hours and the boyfriend cussed her out and took off out the front. She has to have the last word, so she stands on the porch and yells at the top of her lungs, "YOU... HAVE ...A ...VERY... LITTLE... DICK!!!!
I go over there a couple weeks later and they're arguing per usual, and my buddy tells me, "Watch this, I've done this to them a couple times." He has these stink bombs, you know those sulfur bombs, rotten egg smelling things, just little tiny glass vials but they release an awful smell. He goes to his bedroom window and tosses one so it breaks by her kitchen window. About 10 seconds later we hear the boyfriend, "What the **** are you cooking? It smells like sh*t!" And they proceed to go round and round about her cooking, then it moves on to a rehash of every other argument they've ever had. They were pretty hilarious, actually.