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Old 02-17-2013, 05:43 PM   #115
Pontius Pirate
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: 'Nam
Posts: 1,776

Originally Posted by errand View Post
Who is hating on them? You got a problem with His word on the matter, take it up with Him when you're dead and He passes judgement on you.
Here are some more nuggets from the bible. "The word of the lord" LULZ:

Give beer to those who are perishing - Proverbs
Unicorns will make the land bloody and fat - Isaiah
If your eye isn't working, pluck it out and toss it away - Matthew
Put bad children with snakes - Isaiah
If two men are fighting and one of their wives gets in the way and hits a dude in his genitals, you should cut her hand off - Deuteronomy
If you hit your slave, and he survives, that's okay - Exodus
Random stuff about boiling and eating children - Kings
Bears tearing apart children for making fun of someone - Kings
Fig trees should suffer if they do not bear fruit for the godly - Matthew
Do not get a round haircut or you go to hell - Leviticus
Don't touch or eat pigs (football players - sinners) - Leviticus
Don't talk to psychics - Leviticus
If you pull out, that's still cheating, and you'll die - Genesis
No tattoos bro - Leviticus
You can't wear polyester - Leviticus
You can't get divorced - Mark (this is one all anti-gay zealots adhere to right?)
Eunuchs can not be part of the church - Deuteronomy
You can't braid your hair, wear gold, pearls, or hip clothes - Timothy
You can't eat shellfish - Leviticus
Children who curse their parents should be executed - Exodus
You can't gossip - Leviticus
If you get remarried, you're basically committing adultery - Mark
If you work on Sunday, you should be executed - Exodus
Women: shut up in church dammit - Corinthians
If a woman is not a virgin at marriage, she should be stoned - Deuteronomy

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