Three things that make me American - my passport, my love for Colorado and my love for the Broncos. Other than that I'm a little tough to place. I've never owned anything from northface, never worn Tevas, don't have super short hair, have a beard, and have darker features than most.
My Von Miller jersey will blind the **** out of those camels in the desert though. Come to think of it it'll probably melt since it was stitched together by eighteen kids in China.
I think I got what I needed though. Let's let this thread die.