Forum Loser Power Ratings BY MR. -SLAP-
Official Countdown of the Worst Posters on the Orange Mane:
Loser Number 10: WaffleBoy
Why he sucks: Front runner. Troll. Shows up talking when his latest bandwagon team wins, but rarely seen when they lose
Defining moment: Feigning offense when people accused him of craving Big Ben's love juice.
Good points: Okay, this was a tough pick right off the bat. Personally, I don't mind Waffle, but the nearly universal contempt he generates cannot be ignored.
Potential for redemption: He would have to want to change and that's not going to happen.
The bubble picks were Smelvin and Errand. I disqualified Smelvin because he's more of a personal groupie of mine rather than an overall board nuisance. Errand just sucks the life out of any thread quicker than anybody I've ever seen.
Loser Number 9: yavoon
Why he sucks: Drama King in Shorthand. Almost unbelievably argumentative. Seems to get along with virtually no other posters. Most of his discussions degenerate into name calling.
Defining moment: Rolling into Dodge and declaring some crap WR for Cleveland (forget who offhand) is better than Rod Smith.
Good points: Sometimes raises solid points. Not afraid to argue the unpopular side of an argument.
Potential for redemption: Too miserable as a human being to ever be likable.
Loser Number 8: W*GS
Why he sucks: Non-Bronco fan/right wing ideologue. Whined about the goddamn stadium issue non-stop for five straight years. Jealous of Bowlen's money and making us suffer as a result.
Defining moment: N/A. Fortunately, I don't see him enough to pick one lowlight.
Good points: He mainly posts on threads I have no interest in opening.
Potential for redemption: None.
Loser Number 7: GonzoLays -
Why he sucks: Fancies himself a provocative iconoclast, but he's really just a race baiting attention whore. Besmirches the memory of the great Richard Pryor by attaching his avatar image to one crappy take after another.
Defining moment: Trolls too consistently to narrow down one particular thread or post.
Good points: Shows flashes of rudimentary sports knowledge when he forgets his schtick is to be an annoying asshat 24/7.
Potential for redemption: Unlikely. Too fascinated by his own immaturity.
Losers Number 6 and 5: Iowanian and crazyhorse
Why they suck: They're Chief fans. Unduly impressed by their own repartee. Nothing is worse than the dullard who believes he's witty and that sums up both of these guys.
Newsflash, goofballs. A person's sense of humor is unique to that particular individual. Obviously, that means we all think our own jokes are funny. Most people aren't funny. Both of you combined don't equal one clever poster. Perhaps you should pool IQs and begin posting as one moron.
Defining moments: Crazyhorse sending me rep that "complimented" me by saying my post sounded like something he would say.
Good points: They don't suck as badly as Eye Patch.
Potential for redemption: They're Chief fans. Not bloody likely.
Loser Number 4: Watermock
Why he sucks: There are 57,000 reasons.
Defining moment: Pick a banning, any banning.
Good points: Somewhat humbled by the recent game of WhackaMock that breaks out whenever he posts something off topic these days.
Potential for redemption: Truthfully, the thrice-banned former board bad boy has cleaned up his act a little bit already. He still sucks, though.
Loser Number 3: Bob's Your Information Minister
Why he sucks: Craves abuse and demands ritual beatdowns on a daily basis.
Defining moment: Banned for disrespecting the Son of God.
Good point: People find a cathartic release in treating him like a bloated virgin punching bag.
Potential for redemption: Minimal. Obviously, Knob's a closet Bronco fan, but he knows he would incur even more wrath if he officially switched allegiances.
Loser Number 2: MajikMan7
Why he sucks: Generation Why slacker. Has never posted anything worthwhile and its likely he never will. His parents must feel dead inside when they look at him.
Defining moment: The amazing gayness of his collection of hair care products.
Good point: Favorite player is a Polish/American.
Potential for redemption: He might grow up some day.
And the Number 1 Forum Loser for the Summer of 2006: Angry Llama
Why he sucks: Biggest drama king on the Mane. Biggest poser on the Mane. Bizarre compulsion to immerse himself in mindless hype over this week's favorite athlete. Author of spectacular hissy fit meltdowns when his teams inevitably choke. No sense of perspective or slightest inkling of how he's perceived on this board.
Defining moment: Predicting a sweep for the Mavs in The Finals and then disappearing for several days after they inevitably choked.
Good points: His transparent and pretentious affectations, and inability to handle defeat like an adult, make him ripe for parody.
Potential for redemption: I hope he never changes.
Last edited by -Slap-; 07-27-2006 at 10:40 PM..
SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE ERRAND