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Old 10-13-2012, 10:40 AM   #106
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 19,733

The requisite Bill Simmons update: he picks the Broncos to win this week! And thinks it possible we'll be 9-3 after 12 games.

Broncos (+1.5) over CHARGERS

Q: Norv Turner's resume:

• Coached more games than any other coach with an overall losing record.
• Started 2-0 only once (this season) in 15 seasons as a head coach
• 49-68-1 in 1 possession games; 2nd worst all-time
• Only coach to ever lose to an interim's interim coach
—Eric, Spokane

SG: (Nodding.)

Q: Last week you cited some statistics, then used logic and reason to talk yourself into taking the Chargers over the Saints. How could you? Don't you know by now that Norv Turner is completely immune to logic and reason?? The only thing more likely than an end-game coaching fiasco involving Norv was a Phillip Rivers meltdown, followed by him giving his teammates annoyed looks on national television. If you offer any analysis this week beyond "Norv Turner vs. Peyton Manning on Monday Night Football", I'm going to have to assume that this column is being written by an interim-interim Sports Guy and that the real Sports Guy is serving a 16-game suspension.
—Matt, Astoria

SG: I can't pick the Broncos violently enough. You're preaching to the choir. And for the record, Denver follows this game with a bye week, then hosts New Orleans, goes to Cincy and Carolina, hosts San Diego, goes to Kansas City, hosts Tampa and plays Oakland on Thursday night. Could we really see Mr. Noodle taking a 9-3 record into that Oakland game? Absolutely! Pass me the grated cheese and the red pepper: We're riding Peyton's linguini arm these next few weeks. Starting with Monday night. Thank you, gambling gods, for making Peyton Manning an underdog to Norv Turner on a Monday night in my lifetime. You're too kind.
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