So when Romney accuses the President of actually sympathizing with extremists who murdered US diplomats that's not incendiary?
Romney took a tweet by a staffer from the Cairo embasssy, made without clearance, 6 hours before the attacks began, and then twisted it to say that  it was a response to the attacks and  it meant the President agreed with foreignors who killed US citizens. To be fair, since Romney rushed down to smirk his way through a news conference before he knew the full extent of what was happening, he did not that Americans had been killed when he initially made the statement. However, once he learned, he stuck to his guns, so to speak, and renewed his -- Obama is not a true American -- criticism. So basically he lied and accused the President of being a traitor to his country.
I completely understand when if you say that Romney, himself, didn't come out and say something incendiary. It's just as untethered from reality as Romney and his neocon foreign advisors, who have been dreadfully wrong on every foreign matter for the last 12 years.