Here is what you need to add to the ad in bold:
I'm selling TWO (2 - that is the same number of the grade Chiefs' fans last finished) tickets to the Kansas City Chiefs home opener when they get their asses kicked by the Atlanta Falcons on September 9, 2012. These are on the second row, right next to the tunnel, where Matt Cassel and the other ****ty players use to enter the field. Here you will see the Chiefs jumping up and down excting as hell because when they look up at the scoreboard, the game will be tied 0 to 0 and they fell there is still hope. There are no obstructions between you and the tunnel so bring your gear and you have a great chance at an autograph and scared looks from the soon to be defeated Chiefs when they come out in the 2nd half. My only criteria is that you are NOT a Chiefs fan. Show your team pride by representing the Falcons, or any other team for that matter as long as its not Oakland, San Diego, or Kansas City with some of the best seats in the house!!! Price is $300 or best offer for BOTH SEATS! Below is where you will be sitting and booing the Chiefs as they enter and exit the field, Call or text to 816-3-GET-CAR to inquire. I will delete this post as soon as tickets are sold so if it is up, they are still for sale. I will quiz you on your favorite team's history so be prepared, NO CHIEFS fans need to call, save your useless rants for someone who cares, its a disgrace that I even am able to get these seats for an entire year, maybe if you didn't suck soooo badly, I couldn't afford these tickets. If you show up to pay at a populated, public area (like the bar at 9AM) and try to pay in change and/or drugs or pull up in a 1980s IROQ or similar car, I know you a Chiefs fan and will be turned away. If you have all your teeth and show manners, I will know we have a legitimate transaction to follow.
"Chiefs. Not winning a playoff game since 1993!"