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Old 05-18-2012, 05:06 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Shananahan View Post
I keep waiting for the fluff piece where the new defensive coordinator says, "We shooting for middle-of-the-road."
"Hey Erin, welcome to our facility. We're glad you're doing this segment on the re-tooled Broncos defense! Okay, so you'll notice the first thing you see upon entering the complex is our motivational banner which reads, "FAILURE IS AN OPTION." Yeeeeah...we like to keep the mood light around here. Okay, so over here, we've replaced the tackling dummies with funhouse mirrors, where the players can look into them and see the player they truly want to become. Plus it's fun for them to see themselves in all different kinds of shapes and sizes, am I right? Can you imagine what Ty Warren would look like if he were 3 feet tall and 600 lbs? That's funny right there! --"

"Coach, what are your goals for this season?"

"I'd like to lose 10 pounds, shorten up my golf swing, and...oh you mean the team? Yeah, we're hoping for bottom third. That way, if you end up in the middle of the pack, you look like a GOD. And let's face it, Denver hasn't exactly been a model of defensive prowess over the past few decades, know what I'm saying?"
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