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Old 02-29-2012, 04:04 PM   #112
lonestar
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Location: West Texas
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Default Why Athletes Don't Have Regular Jobs

Why Athletes Don't Have Regular Jobs . . .

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:

"I want all them kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all

the kids to copulate me."



2. New Orleans Saints RB George Rogers, when asked about the

upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."



3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Redskin's say:

"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"


Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom too."



4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John

Jenkins:

"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings."



5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy

like Norman Einstein."



6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

(Now that is beautiful)



7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." . . . And, "You guys pair

up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."



8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."



9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he

keeps a photo of himself above his locker:

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my

clothes."



10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training

regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless

of what time it is."



11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explain

ing to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be

an uncle or an aunt."

(I wonder if his IQ ever hit January's outside temperature in Buffalo)



12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:

"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'

He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"



13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what

he told a player who received four F's and one D:

"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."



14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:

"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."



15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob

Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:

"Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."




"The problems we face today
exist because the people who work for a living are
outnumbered by those who vote for a living."
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