Okay truth is it is hard to take a movie seriously where it is mostly men running around in short skirts. I haven't decided what makes it worse, when Gladiator movies take themselves seriously or when they go full on Batman and Robin
nipples on the armor.
In light of my recent screening of Immortals
in 3-D no less, I had to write something to express my awe at its badness (and not in the Michael Jackson Bad
the song way, but more like Michael Jackson Bad nose job kind of way).
To be honest I really only went to see it because I love Henry Cavill and to see him nearly naked in 3-D is really enough to make me happy. I take this moment to reflect on that joy.....Sighhhhhh...
To illustrate, here's Henry's picture, followed by what my reaction was.
Attachment 29508Personalized Blog Posts For Lust Filled Readers (1).jpg
At any rate, my insane lust for Henry aside I couldn't decide if this movie was deliberately over the top in its campiness (which is counter to what camp is supposed to be, which is unintentional) or just someone who really likes cheesy wardrobe, half naked men and warriors to appear more like they belong in a musical on Broadway or London's West End or even Soho's Cabaret district.
Generally I don't notice wardrobe/accessories in movies, but this movie between the nipples on the armor, the Bejeweled Batman/Jason Hockey Masks and the glitter covered world saving/destroying Bow pulled out of stone (hello King Arthur, please roll over in your mythical grave) it just became too much. The bow itself made me laugh out loud in the theater. I kept thinking, how is he going to keep his lipstick in that. Bows are not meant to be shiny. They are supposed to be killing things. And don't get me started on the stuff they made these supposed virginal soothsayers wear. They looked like they were wearing either tables or table lamps on their heads and for some reason they made me think of The Christmas Story
and the dad's leg lamp.
Here are a few images to give you an idea of what I am describing (sadly I couldn't find the ones above, but I found some equally funny ones)
Sir on line 1 I have Princess Leia, she'd like her cinnamon roll hair back. Also on line 2 I have Princess Beatrice from the UK, she wants her hat back, she needs it for another wedding.
Me Jason, me to kill you with my gold lame bow and shiny white light arrows. Just don't get any blood on my jeweled hockey mask, it's a b**** to get cleaned.
Why are there nipples on my armor?! Did we learn nothing from Joel Schumacher's mistakes?
Anyway, unless you really like camp or mostly naked men I would not see this film. Actually I might buy it because there is this awesome scene at the end when you get a look up all the warriors skirts (No, I am not kidding and you should see the memorial statues made at the end of the film, there is so much uh male on male it's got to be deliberate).
At any rate, Immortals
is an interesting blend of 300
and bad interior decorating.(oh yeah they didn't get much if any of the Greek mythology right and I am pretty sure they blurred the Roman and Greek myths all over the place) Actually it kind of goes with the burlesque show I saw in London last night.