****ing love going to McDonald's after a big lift day.
Endorphins and test levels just ****ing through the roof after moving endless amounts of weight. I walk in with that kind of hood swagger where I know I'm better than every disgusting pig **** in the joint. Usually I'm rocking a beater with a cut-out tee over it, with one headphone in just blaring some Three Days Grace like I got a ****ing white trash trailer park party going in my head.
I can't help but smile when I see all the little people slowly lower their apple turnovers to take a peek at a ****ing boss like me. The confusion on their face is always so priceless as they see my perfect physique and they stare down at their disgusting food and think about their miserable existence. One disgusting cavepig with some screaming rugrats actually began to weep uncontrollably in regret after she spent a few minutes admiring the cock line stretching down my bball shorts like I was smuggling a fire hydrant. Sorry lady, I'm just in here to get a burger.
When it's my turn to order I take my time even if I know what I'm ordering just to let all the sad ****s know the king is here and it's your time to wait. I'll usually lean up on the counter and my tri's just pop like a ****ing lightning storm and all the gremlins behind the fryer all scramble to get a look (I always let them too out of pity). Once I'm ready I tell the fat pimply-faced high school b**** who buys all her clothes at Hot Topic the following, "Okay, get this, and don't **** it up. One quarter pounder with cheese, one big mac, large fries, yogurt parfait, chocolate milkshake, and a water cup." She nervously scrambles to type my **** in as beads of sweat drip from her dirty visor down her oily face and I hand her a napkin and tell her she's making everyone sick.
Once I get my food I make it a point to eat it in the center of the dining area like a ****ing medieval king in his kingdom. The entire meal is met with blank stares where people hang their head low wondering why their meal adds 10 pounds to their ass and mine adds 10 to my bench.