$20 gas in Chicago
Posted by Mike Florio on September 25, 2009 5:34 AM ET
Your eyes are not deceiving you.
In Chicago, gas now costs $20.
Yes, it's true.
If a Bears player farts in the film room, the price is $20.
So says Bears defensive tackle Anthony Adams in a blog for the Chicago Tribune.
The farting fine is one of various penalties the players impose on each other.
But Adams, who weighs 307 pounds, is sufficiently nimble to avoid getting in trouble. "I don't get fines for farting," Adams writes. "I leave outside the meeting room and do my dirt." (The Tribune actually removed the "F" word and replaced it with "passing gas." What a bunch of pussies cowards.)
So who's the worst offender when it comes to farting?
"Mark Anderson might be the worst farter ever," Adams writes. "He takes these protein shakes, so he smells like little babies do."
So be advised, Chicagoans. If you're in a line behind Mark Anderson, it might be a good idea to pull the collar of your shirt up over your nose.
And if you're in a line behind Anthony Adams, be prepared to get out of the way.