The mighty W.C. Fields (as Egbert Souse) in "The Bank Dick":
Egbert Sousť: Was I in here last night and did I spend a twenty dollar bill?
Joe Guelpe: Yeah.
Egbert Sousť: Oh boy, what a load that is off my mind! I thought I'd lost it.
Egbert Sousť: I'm very fond of children. Girl children, around eighteen and twenty.
Elsie Mae Adele Brunch Souse: Shall I bounce a rock off his head?
Agatha Souse: Respect your father, darling. What kind of a rock?
W.C. Fields (Whipsnade) from "You Can't Cheat An Honest Man" :
Whipsnade: As my dear old grandfather Litvak said (just before they swung the trap), he said "You can't cheat an honest man. Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump."
From "Almost Famous"
Lester Bangs: The only true currency in this bankrupt world...is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.
Green Goblin: The cunning warrior attacks neither body nor mind.
Norman Osborn: TELL ME HOW.
Green Goblin: The HEART, Osborn. First, we attack his heart.
From "Brain Donors":
Roland T. Flakfizer: If there's anything I can ever do for you... forget it, because I don't do those kinds of things.
From "Angel Heart"
Louis Cyphere: No matter how cleverly you sneak up on a mirror, your reflection always looks you straight in the eye.
Louis Cyphre: Alas... how terrible is wisdom when it brings no profit to the wise, Johnny?
Jimmy Conway: I'm not mad, I'm proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and you learn two great things in your life. Look at me, never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.
Jim Garrison: "Treason doth never prosper," wrote an English poet, "What's the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it treason."
Albert Torena: Where's your empathy, brother? It's a substance abuse problem.
Vincent Hanna: Empathy was yesterday. Today, you're wasting my mother****ing time
and finally, from "P.C.U.":
Droz: What's this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see? Don't be that guy.
Droz: What some advice?
Tom: Well, yeah.
Droz: Well, here's all you need to know: Classes, nothing before eleven. Beer, it's your best friend, you drink a lot of it. Women? You're a freshman, so it's pretty much out of the question. Do we have a car?
Tom: Uh... no.
Droz: Someone on your floor will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day.
Last edited by RHogan; 02-11-2004 at 08:38 PM..