Originally Posted by Orange_Beard
I have this friend, he is a really cheap bastard. I had not talked to him in awhile, I call him up one day and he goes on about he only takes a dump at work. Get's paid to dump and saves money on water and TP.
Many many many moons ago I had a good friend who couldn't take a dump at work to save his life. It was a major phobia. We even had some private bathrooms in our office....didn't matter. He even sold his home and moved closer and rented so that he could drive home when needed if you can believe it.
You should have seen him peel out of the parking lot when he'd have stomach problems.
As one story goes...One time during one of his emergency flight-for-his-potty during mid day, he ran a light and had a motorcycle cop chase him... he 4x4'd through a dirt field right near his home (to try and get away (not to many fields like this in orange county CA). The cop still somehow eventually found his parked car on the street (obviously taking another route) and gave him a ticket as he returned to his parked car outside his home. He had an expensive off road SUV that NEVER saw dirt. I'd make a wager that this was probably the only time he ever took his rig 'off road' the years I knew him.
He had to fess up because he returned to the office with mudd caked all over his rig (It had rained that morning) Never forgot that story.