Originally Posted by Rohirrim
I don't drink anymore.
I don't drink any less either. (rim shot)
I figure if you're young enough, you haven't heard that one.
I got a million of 'em folks. Take my wife... please!
I got a million of 'em.
Man walks into a psychiatrists office and says, "My brother thinks he's a chicken."
The doctor asks, "Why don't you have him committed?"
The guy says, "I need the eggs."
I'm telling you folks, I got a million of them.
(This is me, drunk.)
My Dad always used to say that... he'd also go into the local tavern sometimes and order a pitcher, explaining to the bartender that then he could truthfully tell "the wife" that he'd only had one....