Originally Posted by TerrElway
I just had a bad outhouse experience with a crowder/noisemaker? What's that you ask? Read on.
I am a very private bathroom person. I don't know what my parents did to me but I cringe at the thought of using a public bathroom. I hate using the loo at home if my kids are right outside the door yapping, "Dad? What are you doing? Are you done? Dad? DAD?" I just need peace and quiet and a good book. That's all I ask. Apparently I am the only man on earth who feels this way because whenever I have to use the stalls at work, I encounter all sorts of miscreants with no bathroom etiquette whatsoever. They break down as such:
The Crowder: When I go to the boys room, I always use the stall farthest from the door next to the wall. That way, I will never have to worry about having someone on either side of me. If there is someone in a stall, I always give at least a one stall buffer. If there is no buffer, I suck it up until later. However, I seem to attract Crowders. You know, the guy who comes into the bathroom and, given the choice of 5 empty stalls, he plops down in the one next to you. What a bozo.
The Noisemaker: This guy sounds like he's practicing to break the world dead lift record. He grunts and groans and squeezes and breathes hard and generally makes you wish you had done your business at home.
The Fiber Guy: This guy subsists on Raisin Bran and bean burritos. What else can account for the fact that no sooner do his pants hit the floor than things start splashing. Sounds of ANY kind coming from an adjacent stall are to be avoided at all costs.
The Best Guy Ever: This guy walks in, stops just inside the door, bends slightly to look under the stalls to see if they are occupied, and if they are, he leaves until later. This guy rules because he is just like me.
agreed. quick story, went to the inlaws house last month for a week, theyve got one ****ter, and its off the kitchen. no good for me. i had to strategically plan when and where id crap to avoid the crowd. what a drag. key selling point on the house i just bought, 2 bathrooms. im good to go.