You're a Walrus!
A while back, maybe even before you were born, some rock band really ruined your name for a lot of people. So while you've grown whiskers and tried to look older and more distinguished, they still ponder you with a strange glint in their eye. Never mind them, they are the eggmen. You like really cold places and don't even know what getting a tan from standing in the English rain means! You used to hate your oversized teeth, but now you've grown to appreciate them. Goo goo g'joob.