Originally Posted by Clockwork Orange
I would take hockey rumors from mock more seriously than I do from Eklund.
Mock has ties throughout the league. Sit down and Shutup. Mock told you that Theodore was touring the Champs-Elysees in Paris but you idiots were too busy sucking him off in the playoffs. Noone ever bothered to ask Mock who would win the Cup. If any of you idiots actually sought me out, you would have made a killing on Carolina at 7 to 1. It was a Mock's Lock all along. It should surprise no one that these Cup Finals were excellent, although Mock still lusts for the Finals of 2000 and 2001 when they always panned to Melanie Brodeur with that cowboy hat in the Finals. She gained some weight in 01, but its all meat to Mock. Mock was laughed at on this board when I said the Staal family would own, so **** you.
Anyway, Mock is calling Erik Johnson at No. 1 to STL. Beezer just got off the phone with JD and confirmed it. Sometimes JD drools tho, i guess Beezer looks tasty to him, he is getting too fat the last few weeks. I should have gotten him off the Albacore tuna, its really fattening, but he doesn't like Chicken of the Sea. I know I pamper him and all but I feel guilty when I don't, I don't think he has forgiven me for trying to spray WD-40 down his throat.
Mock's family actually has a rich history with the NHL. Mock's great uncle taught Toe Blake the fundamentals of the Bothwell Weave and what would eventually become the very aggressive Soviet 2-1-2 forechecking system.
And yet Mock is treated like he knows nothing about hockey. How very amusing. Get a clue.
Listen you dimwits, Mock negotiated Nick Antropov's last contract so STFU. I have Tomas Kaberle on speed dial and a million dollar line of credit so bl0w me.
Now Mock is a homer for Minnesota, but I am also a great father figure. Mock simply did not stand for it when Kessel started gawking at a kitten. Mock delivered a major beatdown. Mock has been calling GMs across the country warning everyone about that little biatch. ISS certainly listened to Mock. The kid is falling faster than a rock. Last year, Mock told you the kid had major character problems. Mock told you to downgrade him. Mock spent two hours on the phone with Central Scouting and noone listened until now. He cost himself millions messing with my family. Kessel can STFU and STFD. Mock eviscerated him.