Best PRACTICAL JOKES EVER Thread
My buddy and I, I'll call him Jack cause that's his name, shared a big house in Playa del Rey with an older, appx 55-57 y.o. Cuban guy in 2001-02. This guy, I'll call him 'Ariel' cause that's HIS name, was a revolution refugee as a teen, and still had a thick Cuban accent. He was a fidgety, nervous fussbudget little guy, quite prone to drama. Hilarious really - always fretting over something. He took Ambien to sleep, and - all those stories about sleep-walking and memory loss on Ambien last year? We were WAY ahead of the curve on that one! Ariel would leave half-eaten TV dinners on the table with the microwave door open in the middle of the night, and not remember having done it. Once the mess stayed there a whole day until he finally accused Jack of it, and told him to clean it up! We figured out pretty quick that the Ambien was causing his sleep-eating and memory dropouts. I'm not sure he ever believed us after we ganged up on him and forced him to clean it up. He remained skeptical about our combined insistence he was doing these things.
Then one night when I was gone, he comes into the living room like a zombie and MAKES A PASS AT JACK! Now, Ariel had been married twice and always seemed to genuinely appreciate female beauty, so it came as a big shock to Jack and to me when he told me. So, we confronted Ariel about it, nicely, the next day ... and after we piece together a strong case including the sleep-eating, he finally gave in and admitted that in Cuba, men are very often gay - like freak6 said above.
So, after all this drama we had lived with, the sleep-eating, the messes, the accusations, and the sexual pass, Jack and I decided we had to get some kind of revenge.
We had eaten together occassionally - sometimes all three of us - at the Boston Market restaurant (Sepulveda just south of Manchester, 8 blocks north of LAX for the L.A. people), and we had noticed the manager there was our neighbor 2 doors down. Marty was a nice guy, and we became friends with him, Jack and I did anyway. We hung out and watched football (even though he was a Chargers fan ). Shortly after we met him, Marty had given Jack and I something free at the restaurant - not a whole meal, but a couple little things ... and Ariel felt slighted. He began to be afraid of Marty, and fret to us, "Marty doesn't like me! He never gives me free food!" Marty would tell us Ariel would come in and act really strange - "your friend comes into the restaurant and he just stands there like he was waiting for something." Anyway, Ariel started honestly disliking and actually becoming comically afraid of Marty (who was a bodybuilder which didn't help matters for little Ariel). It got so bad, that the little fussbudget would look out the window and watch for him to come home ..."There he is! There he is!" And when Marty came over, Ariel would peek through the window when he knocked and loudly whispe, "IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM!" as he ran into his room or out the backdoor to sneak off or drive away (he was a real drama-queen about it ).
This is long I know, but bear with me:
One warm night shortly thereafter, when we knew Ariel had been without his Ambien for a few days before finally filling a new prescription - ensuring an especially deep sleep with no eating spells. We kept him up til after midnight to further ensure deep sleep. Then we crashed, but awoke at 6 a.m. and sprang into action. We gently picked up Ariel in his blankets and carried him outside and two doors down and gently laid him into the bed of Marty's Ford pickup truck (one of the smaller trucks, I think Ranger) and put some blankets over him. Ariel was out like a LIGHT! TOTALLY out!
Then, we get into Jack's car across the street and wait for Marty to go to work - we knew he arrived at work at 7 am. Finally Marty comes out, and he doesn't see Ariel! He starts up the truck and DRIVES AWAY! It was about two or three miles to work, and we followed them laughing SO HARD we could barely breathe... finally Ariels' stupid little head pops up and he looks around !! Marty sees him in the mirror and stops the truck as he's pulling into the big parking lot! He leaves the engine on and door open and starts talking to Ariel - I WAS LAUGHING HARDER THAN I HAD EVER LAUGHED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! Ariel shakes the sleep out of his head, and crawls/stumbles backward in the truck bed as Marty casually extends his hand to help him get out!!! We're sucking for air as we can't even breathe .... Ariel falls outta the bed, and crawls away - then stumbles and ROLLS AWAY from Marty. Marty watches him stumble away for a second, then gets back in the truck and drives the last 100 feet, and parks for work.
Ariel goes stumbling across the Ralphs parking lot for a couple hundred feet in his pajamas, until we finally pull up beside him. THE POOR BASTARD WAS SOBBING!!
I can barely type I'm lkaughing so hard....
That's awesome man!!!
We used to make my fat ass "do anything we say dummy 6-3 doofus" pal with man boobs streak bars on colfax. The best part was making him chase after his own Blazer on Colfax, like we were really just gonna sit there as his getaway car!!!
"Hurry up Chums!!!" as the guys in the bar and trannies in the street were chasing him!!!
My gf says it's not funny - that we were cruel. So there are several points I'd like to clarify:
1. I was too kind in describing Ariel. He was a petulant, rude 56 year-old brat.Actually, his first reaction in the parking lot was, "thank God you're here!" before he saw we were laughing ROFL!
Here's one from High School:
My High School years were pretty rough, I dealt with lots of things from my parents divorce, my Grandfather dying, my mother throwing me out because I wouldn't move in with her and her new boyfriend, blowing out both of my knees four times in three years, my best friend committing suicide and to top it off I grew ill from a nerological problem that caused one of my blood vessels in my brain to allow too much oxygen into my brain and caused "drunk-like" symptoms, I slurred my speech and had a hard time remembering things, I could only watch TV sideways, it was the only way it made sense to me. It took awhile for the meds to work so I missed a large part of the last semester of my soph year.
I made up the classes at the local college my senior year, I was already taking some pre-college courses along with my load from HS. I had already gotten enough credits for my senior year so I basically only had the makeup classes to take. I joked around alot in school, pranked and wise-assed around. I'm sure it was all because of what was going on behind the scenes, but it really pissed of my principal to no end, I organized the ditch days etc...I was Swink's version of Ferris Beuller, and he was Mr. Rooney to a T.
Anyway a week before our grades had to be in for graduation he called me into his office and asked where my grades were from the college, I told him I took my finals for every class that morning and that I assumed the teachers would have the grades on Monday. He told me that it wasn't good enough, that they had to be in by Friday, so he called the college and asked a few of the profs if the tests were graded, they said no. He then informed he that since my grades were "late" that I would still receive my diploma but I wouldn't be able to attend the graduation to walk with my class. I pleaded with him to change his mind, announcement had already been sent, cap and gown bought. I told him that I have given that school 13 years (with kindergarten) I was going to be a cripple someday due to my knee injuries suffered whlie playing sports for the school and despite my hijinks I never did anything to tarnish Swink School. He told me that his decision was final and that was how the world works, you don't always get second chances.
I didn't leave his office that day until I got my diploma signed and in my hand, I didn't return to school the following week either. On Tuesday the school held it's annual elementry track day in which Lesar's daughter was running in. He was known for "leaving" things around, so I uhhh, FOUND his car keys and went for a ride in his Mazda. I picked up a few classmates and drove to La Junta for some McDonalds, we left our trash in his car. Then I proceded to park his car on the lawn outside of the gym right where the receiving line would be that Sat for Graduation. I then jacked his car up (with some help from some buddies) and stole his tires and left his car on blocks, oh and I locked his keys in the car.
I waited down the block to see his reaction to finding his car and to this day I still get goosebumps on my neck. He was cursing and punching a brick wall in front of elementry kids, cursing and saying my name. He had to drive the school van home. He then was too dumb to realize his keys were in the car, he tried to strong-arm my class by threatening to cancel the graduation if I didn't return his keys, the school didn't have a correct address for me since I was kicked out of my house and hadn't lived at my home since I was 15. I left a note under his office door on a Thr telling him his keys were under the seat of his car.
On graduation day I was dressed in full cap and gown with my diploma in hand, walked into the room where the rest of my classmates were and stepped in line where I was supposed to be. They had snuck a extra seat onto the gym floor for me, and all the guys in the class had "Where's Tony?" on the top of their motorboards. When the crowd saw me walking into the gym they exploded into applause, the teachers and admin didn't know what was happening cause everyone was on their feet, the look on his face was priceless. They didn't call my name when it was to be read, but the girl behind me said "Go, it's your turn." I stood in the middle of the floor and raised my diploma in the air and they all went nuts.
When the rest of the class went up to him to shake his hand and get their diploma they handed him one of his lugnuts to his car outside, I had given them to my classmates before it started. Once it was over I walked outside and grabbed his tires, threw them down beside his car and joined my friends.
I will post pics one of these days, I also had a friends parent videotape Lesar taking his car down and putting his tires back on with the tiny jack from his trunk. He retired last year, I went to visit him before he left. He didn't mention it but kids there still spoke of it, they didn't know the specifcs but they knew that one time a student rose from the non air conditioned halls of Swink High and beat the system, and handed the MAN known as Lesar his greatest defeat in front of a whole town and student body.
E P I C !
April 1st is the most evil day EVER. Down with practical jokes!thwack
When I was in high school, we used to to house parties and take the phone, dial 1-900 phone sex numbers and toss the phone in the closet. I can only imagine what the parents thought about their astronomical phone bill that was generated while they were away.
Others did "upper deckers" but that wasn't my style.
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