How John Elway created the world
 

I got rapped up in a debate with a religious wacko on another board. I was trying to prove a point that there are hundreds of religions in the world that people choose to believe in and that his particular views may not work for 4.5 billion people on our planet. So I came up with my own to try and make light of the debate over there that some of you might appreicate......;D



Broncos 1


The Beginning

1 In the beginning John Elway created the heavens and Mile High Stadium.
2 Now the Stadium [1] formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of John was hovering over the Rockies.

3 And John said, "Let there be Football," and there was Football. 4 John saw that the football was good, and he separated the Broncos from the Raiders. 5 John called the Broncos good," and the darkness he called Raiders" And there was evening, and there was morning-the first day.
6 And John said, "Let there be an expanse between Mile High Stadium to separate Good from Evil." 7 So John made the expanse and separated Oakland from Denver. And it was so. 8 John called the expanse the seperation of Upper Class living with the Ghetto. And there was evening, and there was morning-the second day.
9 And John said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and be transformed to BEER at Coor's Brewery. And it was so. 10 John called the dry ground Oakland" and then gathered all the trash and crack and put it there ." And John saw that it was good there.
11 Then John said, "Let the land Denver produce Superbowl victories: And it was so. 12 . And John saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning-the third day.
14 And God said, "Let there be lights in Mile High so we could have Monday night football, and let them serve as signs to mark football seasons so everyone would know when it is time to kick the living shiat out of the Raiders. 15 and let there be lights in the parking lot so we can see when my followers tailgate." And it was so. 16 John made two great lights-the greater light to govern the Stadium and the lesser light to govern the parking lot. He also made the pro-bowl. 17 John set light next to Bucky (the horse that sits on top of the South side of the staium) to light Mile High and the parking lot, 18 . And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning-the fourth day.
20 And John said, "Let the Raiders Suck" And it was so. 21 So John created Jake Plummer, Rod Smith Eddie Mac, Clinton Portis to make sure. And John saw that it was good. 22 John blessed them and said, "Kick Ass and increase the number of Bronco Fans. 23 And there was evening, and there was morning-the fifth day.
24 And John said, "Let Denver produce beautiful young women and the Oakland fans should only mate according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. 25 John moved the Gangsters to Oakland and called them second class citizens according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And John saw that it was good.
26 Then John said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the Raiders and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, [2] and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created Meck 77 in his own image.
in the image of John he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be Bronco Fans and increase in number; fill Mile High and cheer in your church. Rule over the the scum bag Raiders.

29 Then John said, "I give you every offensive and defensive weapon to crush Oakland. They will be yours to embarss them. 30 And to all the Fans of Mile High I give you hod dogs and burgers for food." And it was so.
31 John saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning-the sixth day.



On the seventh Day John sat on the couch drank a coors and watched the Broncos beat Oakland.


;D

:cheers:

That was awesome Meck!! Good work!

Meck comes correct.

Wow meck... how much time did you spend coming up with this?
Good one buddy. :thumbsup:

You know I just whipped in out in about 15 minutes. A raider fan just countered with their version. It's pretty fun actually......

From The Silver & Black Bible, Book of Al, Chapter 3, Verses 7-15

7.] And it came to pass that there was great consternation and lamentation among the people of Raider Nation.

8.] And they came before the prophet Cyanatic and said, "Wherefore comest the heretic Meck, setting forth false idols in the image of the demon Elway and seeking to cast our true faith in the realms of darkness?"

9.] And Cyanatic went before the Raider Nation and spake thusly: "Why comest thou before me with thy undies in a twist when thou knowest we are the mightiest, baddest mofo's in the NFL?"

10.] And Raider Nation spoke unto the prophet Cyanatic and said, "The heretic Meck hath founded a false religion based upon the demon Elway and seeks to draw the faithful to the cursed banner of orange."

11.] And Cyanatic drew himself up before the Raider Nation, mighty was he with wrath, and said, "Tremble before the sight of the Silver & Black banner, whose power and spirit hath filled our victorious hosts for years upon years. Hath not the wimpy ponies of orange fled before us? Be mindful of our forefathers, and remain ye faithful to Gannon, for hath he not smote all in the AFC West in his wrath?"

12.]And Raider Nation becalmed themselves and stood quiet as Cyanatic said, "Recall ye not that Cotton Davidson begat Lamonica who fought for the Bowl of Super, and Lamonica begat Stabler who won our first Bowl of Super, and Stabler begat Plunkett who won two Bowls of Super, and then came the great famine when Plunkett begat Wilson, and Wilson begat Schroeder, and Schroeder begat Marinovich, who was a great disappointment in the eyes of Al, and Marinovich begat George, and George begat Hostetler, and Hostetler begat Gannon who hath led us again into the land of milk & MVPs?"

13.] And Raider Nation cheered and Cyanatic said, "Lo! Even now the great host of Silver & Black gathers like a dark stormcloud, seeking revenge against the feather-capped, wannabe pirate pansies of Florida! Go ye forth into battle, for Pride and Poise are with us in our Committment to Excellence."

14.] And Raider Nation cheered again with great joy, and girded their loins for battle. And Cyanatic said, "Remember ye our heritage. And, woe! Woe unto the heretic Meck and his ilk, for the Silver & Black shall sweep into Invesco like a mighty storm and slay the worshippers of orange, and the drinkers of the weak Rocky Mountain urine known as Coors, and the idolators of the demon Elway whose time has long passed."

15.] And Raider Nation rejoiced and drank hearty Anchor Steam beer and feasted upon barbecued ribs and were much pleased with themselves.

LMMFAO ..................... Oh Shiat Meck ........... LMMFAO that one will go in maniax front Page Bro

That's funny stuff. The down side is that you're both going to spend an eternity in Hell.

John Elway is the reason why there is baseball and hockey in Colorado, the Ravens in Baltimore and an expansion team in Cleveland.

Yeah, it WAS nice...just like the pretense. John Elway WAS good, the Broncos WON the Super Bowl, you sound like a college dropout loser who still lives in the past of being Prom King in High School. The past is nice...because you're a Broncos fan, that's ALL you've got to hang onto. Joke Plummet the next Joe Montana....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hey Chiefs fan, tell you're team to win a playoff game this decade, better yet, tell them to actually make the playoffs.

All right I will...tune in this year and check it out. Why not, right? I mean, the Broncos won't be in the playoffs, so atleast watch the Chiefs make it. Wait...you do have JOKE PLUMMET! I forgot! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

And your QB seems to think that Deltha O'Neal is a Chiefs WR.

I do agree on your improved defense though, I mean hell, you finished dead last in the previous season, how can you not improve from that? So congrats, instead of 32nd, you'll get yourself up to 25 or so, maybe.

Hmmm, in 2002 how many INTs did Trent Green throw, and also how many INTs did Deltha O'Neal get? Wait...didn't he also get benched against the Chiefs? Haha, does your story ever get new. I wish it got new so it would make some sort of sense once and awhile. LOL

Yes, we benched our best CB for the Chiefs game, and we still beat you.

Doesn't matter, Priest Holmes didn't play the 4th Quarter, not a legit victory to me, so who cares? You still have to deal with that sad fact that Jake Plummer is your Quarterback, LOL.

I see a legit victory, a win is a win right?

Oh, is that what you say during PRESEASON TOO?? What a chump! LOL

JOKE PLUMMET!!! JOE MONTANA!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Chief fans are forced to count moral victories and near misses as wins.

I could care less about preseason, it's you Chief fans that bust one over preseason.

"Priest played a full ONE QUARTER!!!! HE'S HEALTHY!!!!!"

He did look a bit healthy, and averaging 2.5 yards per carry also.

What they call "non-legit wins", everyone else calls excuses.

Hmmmm...but a "WIN is a WIN"? By the way, keep watching the Chiefs play and memorize their stats, as they rack them up while destroying the Donkeys. Oh wait...yeah I know...you've got JOKE PLUMMET!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

So, you're going to admit that week 1 vs. the Browns wasn't a legit win for the Chiefs then right?

Also, I'd love to stay and keep tearing you up, but the beer bong calls me at a friends house, I'll be on later to tear you up as a drunk man though.

Yeah, every Bronco fan has to get drunk, Chiefs would too if they had Joke Plummet as our quarterback. I guess that explains the Broncos fans reasoning behind thinking Joke Plummet is the next Joe Montana...they're drunk?

My bad for having something called...a life(try and find one someday, it works out).

KC is a pretty happening place, you should turn on the TV and watch the Royals piss away their playoff hopes and then watch the Chiefs suck again, making it now every season since we beat you in the playoffs of 1998, 14-10 if you need a refresh of memory.

What exactly do the Chiefs have to look forward to, other than a bad defense and being either the 3rd or 4th worst in the toughest division in football?