Old Times Sports Humor
 

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
*"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the
kids to copulate me."*

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
*"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."*

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
*"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."*

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
*"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.."*

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
*"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."*

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
*"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."*
(Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, as Florida State football coach:
*"You guys line up alphabetically by height.."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."*

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
*"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for
three years, not Princeton .."*

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
color photo of himself above his locker:
*"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my
clothes."*

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of
heavyweight Andrew Golota:
*"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what
time it is."*

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
*"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an
uncle or an aunt.*

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
*"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"*

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told
a player who received four F's and one D:
*"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."*

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
*"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."*

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why
he takes his wife on all the road trips,
*Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."*

#15 is my favorite. Yes, that is a double entendre

#12 was former Jazz center Jeff Wilkins. His son John is at Illinois St now.


http://www.jokebuddha.com/Wilkins/recent/2

lmfao