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broncolife 07-18-2014 05:08 PM

Ask him if he likes scary movies

baja 07-18-2014 05:08 PM

Forward the call to my dementia suffering mother in law. She will drive them crazy

Dr. Broncenstein 07-18-2014 05:28 PM

Answer every question like you are a lost GPS unit.

Recalculating. Make a u-turn in 300 feet, then proceed to the nearest intersection.

Quoydogs 07-18-2014 05:48 PM

Play some BDSM in the back ground. Start asking them all kinda ****ed up questions.

BroncosfanGuy 07-18-2014 05:49 PM

whenever I get calls like these I pretend I know the person and I've been waiting for their call. I constantly interrupt them and ask them about their weather, who they think will win a sporting event, how nice it is to hear from them. Control the conversation and don't let them change the topic. May take a few tries but this is how I shook unwanted calls after telling them to stop calling didn't work.

instead of trying to get off the phone right away see how long you can keep the guy on the phone whle not talking about whatever it is he wants to discuss.

Kaylore 07-18-2014 06:01 PM

One thing you can do is try to talk to them about something that takes a long time to explain. Like explain some really elaborate conspiracy theory. I recommend really esoteric ones like the hallow Earth theory so that it's interesting for you.

Mogulseeker 07-18-2014 06:08 PM


Originally Posted by Old Dude (Post 4142313)
So, I've been getting these calls, once every three or four days this month, from these guys claiming to work for some sort of "Windows" computer security system. East coast area codes but heavy accents - probably from India, though I'm not an expert.

Basically, they want me to visit their website and then download a virus so that I can pay them several hundred dollars to remove it. Different versions of this scam have been going on since at least 2006.

So far, I've hung up on them. Told them to quit calling me and hung up on them. Called them names, hung up on them and reported them to the FTC. Told them I was too busy getting a blowjob from Mowgli and to leave me alone and then hung up on them. Told them I had a pizza guy at the door and to hold on for just a minute, then set down the phone and took the dog for a walk.

Running out of ideas, here, guys.

I've done that before and that's awesome.

Reporting to the FTC is awesome, and I've done that, but there isn't any instant gratification there.

If you have an iphone, I know there is an option to block numbers. I dont know about other phones. I haven't owned a landline since my junior year of undergrad.

Dukes 07-18-2014 06:13 PM

LOL Best thread of the summer.

Dr. Broncenstein 07-18-2014 06:17 PM

Reply in morse code on the phone. Probably need an actual land line to pull it off.

Rohirrim 07-18-2014 06:38 PM

Give him the phone number of that guy in Myrtle Beach. He'll buy anything.

baja 07-18-2014 06:46 PM

Have Ghost Busters qued up and play it. They will run for cover.

Old Dude 07-18-2014 07:13 PM


Originally Posted by Requiem (Post 4142319)
Get their number and let me call them.

Most recently, they've been calling from 347-518-1811, which lists to a "Linda Chang" (in New York). Looking up this number, there are complaints dating back nearly a month, and, in addition to the computer technician scam, they are also running a "government grant" scam (for which you're promised government aid in return for your credit card number.)

Apparently, people who call them back just get disconnected.

I doubt that any of them are actually in NY or anywhere else in North America. More likely, they are just using the number to route their calls from Bombay.

Drunken.Broncoholic2 07-18-2014 07:13 PM

Answer as if you were MacGruder.

Old Dude 07-18-2014 07:19 PM


Originally Posted by Drunken.Broncoholic2 (Post 4142420)
Answer as if you were MacGruder.

Do you really think these guys deserve the death penalty?

BroncoMan4ever 07-18-2014 07:40 PM

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Old Dude 07-18-2014 08:14 PM

I think I'll probably try the klaxon horn next.

baja 07-18-2014 08:44 PM


Originally Posted by Old Dude (Post 4142431)
I think I'll probably try the klaxon horn next.

Make sure you whisper into the phone so they are straining to hear first.

No1BroncoFan 07-18-2014 09:35 PM

This is how to get rid of them:

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
Hello. We're calling because your computer is spreading viruses (never a virus, always viruses) onto the internet.

Really? I had no idea. I should take car of that. Are you sure it's mine?

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
Oh, definitely. We can see that your computer is spreading viruses.

So, are you selling something that will help?

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
Oh no. We're...

So how do you know it's my computer?

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
Well we have algorithms...

Algorithms to help you determine IP addresses?

Fake Microsoft A-hole:

So, you've verified that my IP address is sending out viruses?

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
Of course, if you'll let me...

So, what is my IP address?

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
Excuse me?

What is my IP address? If you've tracked a virus to my IP then you must know what it is.

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
We can't share that with you but...

No. Wait a moment. My IP address is publicly available. It's what allows my computer to communicate with the internet. So please, I'd like to verify that my machine is sending a virus.

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
We're really not suppos...

As I said, it's a publicly available number. If you can't tell me what it is than how can I tell if you're really tracking my computer or not.

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
Ok, well..... Are you ready?


Fake Microsoft A-hole:
You're IP address is


Fake Microsoft A-hole:

Ok. Now I know you're full of ****. For you to read a 192.168 number from my computer, you would have to have hacked my private network. 192.168 is reserved specifically for private networks. You didn't hack my network did you?

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
Oh, no sir. If you'll...

Another thing. An IP address uses a numbering system called a dotted quad, meaning four sets of numbers between 1 and 255, separated by periods. Do you see any problem with the number you just gave me?

Fake Microsoft A-hole:
Sir, if you'll let me...

No, I most certainly will not. You called me with a bull**** story backed up with a bull**** IP address and I've half a mind to call an attorney. Anything to say to that?


Still there?

It's simple stuff and they can never give answers that are even half-way intelligent.

Haven't heard from them since. ;D

Old Dude 07-19-2014 08:37 AM

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ludo21 07-19-2014 08:48 AM

give them a recap of last years survivor, page by page.

BroncosfanGuy 07-19-2014 12:24 PM

cliff's notes to the 16-minute video?

enjolras 07-19-2014 01:37 PM

I have a virtual machine I use solely to screw with these guys. At an old job we had a competition to see who could keep them on the line the longest. My favorite bit is to spin up my machine, download the virus, and then feign complete ignorance about how computers actually work. It's fun to waste their time when I don't have much to do that day.

broncosteven 07-19-2014 03:16 PM

I had someone call claiming to be from Com-Ed telling me he was going to reduce my rate but he wanted me to give him our account # to verify. It was fishy to begin with so I told him I don't give out that info because of scammers but he could read it to me since he worked for Com-Ed and had that info in front of him, he gave me our name and phone number but said I have to give him the account number so, I kept him on the line while I tried to find his phone number then hung up on him and called Com-Ed to report it, there was nothing they could do without a phone number, it came from a private blocked line. I told my wife to let the private blocked numbers to go to VM. I usually answer them and tell them to put us on their do not call list before hanging up. I could see how they could catch some old people off guard and give out their account info so they can switch them over to more expensive services.

Bronco Yoda 07-19-2014 03:47 PM

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B-Large 07-19-2014 03:53 PM

Meh, I stopped reading at "Blow Job"....

Then read Blow Job again.

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