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View Full Version : Dolphins: Evolved Humans?


Hotwheelz
07-15-2011, 03:36 AM
Now, I know there are a lot of you that won't believe me, but just hear me out. I've been doing some research and a lot of thinking and I've come to the following conclusion: Dolphins are evolved humans. They've developed their third eye and ascended to a higher level of existence. Look at the facts.


Dolphins are mammals, not fish. Humans are mammals.
Humans and dolphins have always had a strange relationship. Look at places like sea world or the countless instances of women giving birth to children around dolphins. They protect them like their own... maybe because they are?
Many studies show that dolphins can communicate telepathically. the next step?


I think the evidence is pretty strong here. The question now is: Why is the government hiding this from us? What are they hiding?

uk bronco
07-15-2011, 03:45 AM
Its a nice idea but i think other people have probably put a bit more thought and research into it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EUbZdIzA30

you really have to watch this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquatic_ape_hypothesis

The aquatic ape hypothesis has some valid points but there are just too many holes in it.

ZONA
07-15-2011, 03:55 AM
http://www.clipartguide.com/_named_clipart_images/0511-1008-1618-5645_Bored_Office_Clerk_Playing_with_Paper_Airplan es_clipart_image.jpg

Rother8
07-15-2011, 04:03 AM
I'm a fan of evolving human theories and in general a theory involving an evolution of all cellular life. Even going as far to the notion that we started as simple single celled organisms and here we are now, and the lower leveled forms of life could be a new "soul" in an early form of evolution. Would the new forms eventually become human beings, and are we the end of the process? Or is there a next stage somewhere else or as something else?

I'll ponder that whole process under the influence of a select few herbal remedies and I'll have myself an interesting little moment.

OABB
07-15-2011, 04:57 AM
Tebow is human evolved.

bowtown
07-15-2011, 05:04 AM
There is a lot of evidence to support your claims on youtube. I'd take it a step further though. It's a fact that many of the Nazis that disappeared after the war, went to Argentina and communed with dolphins. I think it's safe to assume that many of them crossbred and that their offspring now comprises much of the world's dolphin population. I think it's also safe to assume that they orchestrated 9-11 by swimming in circles off the coast of New Jersey so fast that two giant airplane-shaped hurricanes were created. I think that anyone with a brain who decided to do a little more research would come to the same conclusions.

Falconer
07-15-2011, 05:19 AM
Are these the same dolphins that get caught in tuna nets?

bowtown
07-15-2011, 05:20 AM
Are these the same dolphins that get caught in tuna nets?

Disinformation.

Kaylore
07-15-2011, 05:21 AM
Dolphins are also one of the few species that will kill purely for enjoyment. If that is enlightenment, then I want no part of it.

That One Guy
07-15-2011, 05:32 AM
I can't tell if this thread is a MacGruder parody thread or if some of the people in it are serious.

HAT
07-15-2011, 05:38 AM
I can't tell if this thread is a MacGruder parody thread or if some of the people in it are serious.

Than you sir....Have no shot at becoming a dolphin.

Dagmar
07-15-2011, 05:41 AM
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/41569_2204925402_4926_n.jpg

alkemical
07-15-2011, 06:08 AM
http://www.pcworld.com/article/227621/scientists_plan_to_create_dolphin_translator_hope_ dolphins_like_the_fish.html

The time is approaching when we may finally know the age-old question: Will dolphins abanodon Earth when it is demolished for a hyperspace bypass? And more importantly, did they enjoy their stay and the fish at Hotel Earth, complete with full complimentary breakfast?

Soon divers carrying a computer with a special translator will take to the waters to try and receive, translate, and send signals to dolphins. According to New Scientist, Dr. Denise L Herzing--future dolphin translator and founder of the Wild Dophin Project--and her colleagues have been working on trying to establish two-way communication with dolphins since the late 1990s.

jhns
07-15-2011, 06:11 AM
They taste good.

ColoradoDarin
07-15-2011, 06:24 AM
Dolphins are also one of the few species that will kill purely for enjoyment. If that is enlightenment, then I want no part of it.

They do enjoy Teh Rape too.

bronco militia
07-15-2011, 07:04 AM
http://files.sharenator.com/kermit_weed_gif_Kermit_the_Frog-s320x240-93065-580.gif

Smiling Assassin27
07-15-2011, 07:05 AM
Two words: Brandon Marshall.

Hypothesis Fails.

bronco militia
07-15-2011, 07:08 AM
Two words: Brandon Marshall.

Hypothesis Fails.

:thanku::rofl:

epicSocialism4tw
07-15-2011, 10:32 AM
They do enjoy Teh Rape too.

<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/R2LNHkbTExw?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/R2LNHkbTExw?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>

DomCasual
07-15-2011, 10:34 AM
I'd shake a Dolphin's hand for this achievement, but they don't have any opposable thumbs.

cmhargrove
07-15-2011, 11:01 AM
Now, I know there are a lot of you that won't believe me, but just hear me out. I've been doing some research and a lot of thinking and I've come to the following conclusion: Dolphins are evolved humans. They've developed their third eye and ascended to a higher level of existence. Look at the facts.


Dolphins are mammals, not fish. Humans are mammals.
Humans and dolphins have always had a strange relationship. Look at places like sea world or the countless instances of women giving birth to children around dolphins. They protect them like their own... maybe because they are?
Many studies show that dolphins can communicate telepathically. the next step?


I think the evidence is pretty strong here. The question now is: Why is the government hiding this from us? What are they hiding?

Dude, I think you are spot on, and it sounds like your exhaustive research has paid off.

Does that mean watching dolphin porn isn't so creepy after all?

strafen
07-15-2011, 11:15 AM
They taste good.They taste like chicken! ROFL!

Houshyamama
07-15-2011, 11:19 AM
Michael. Phelps.

cutthemdown
07-15-2011, 11:23 AM
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/41569_2204925402_4926_n.jpg

I notice you have a dolphin on your shirt. Do you like Dolphins?

alkemical
07-15-2011, 11:43 AM
Dude, I think you are spot on, and it sounds like your exhaustive research has paid off.

Does that mean watching dolphin porn isn't so creepy after all?

Did Sylvester Stallone direct dolphin porn?


www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAt0RuHb6XU

(Not able to test/verify the link - but the Brice Taylor story talks of Stallone directing Dolphin pr0n)

Sly thought the dolphin porn was the greatest new combo and he directed a lot of the porn videos.
It was filmed at areas at the North Shore, Poipu or, he had us helicoptered into remote areas for filming.
Large cameras were taken out to these remote island areas. I delivered some money from Stallone and
from other less prominent men on the island to Ken, the wealthy attorney who had a big beautiful house
in Kilauea. I believe it was his job to see that the money was sufficiently laundered.
Sly wore a wet suit but we were always naked in the water. There were trained dolphins that we
did water ballet and swam with. When we swam gracefully the male dolphin got excited and started
nudging us. We grabbed onto them and went for the ride; if we didn't, they told us, "one wrong move and
you could get ripped to shreds." The dolphin actually remembered us over time and the same male would
consistently choose the same girl, even when the group size changed from small to large. They got to
know us and didn't forget in between. When my sons were on the island they were filmed also. One day
after the filming, Sly said to Kelly, "You come back soon, ya here?"

http://www.theshiftofconsciousness.info/bricetaylor.html

DBroncos4life
07-15-2011, 11:52 AM
Dolphins are also one of the few species that will kill purely for enjoyment. If that is enlightenment, then I want no part of it.

http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/8052/southi.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/641/southi.jpg/)

Japanese people know all about that.

DomCasual
07-15-2011, 12:02 PM
http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/8052/southi.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/641/southi.jpg/)

Japanese people know all about that.

Really? You're saying that was just for enjoyment?

alkemical
07-15-2011, 12:03 PM
Dolphins are also one of the few species that will kill purely for enjoyment. If that is enlightenment, then I want no part of it.

American culture likes movies/tv/music where people die....

Just sayin'.

DBroncos4life
07-15-2011, 12:07 PM
Really? You're saying that was just for enjoyment?

Um that's a South Park picture with a Dolphin and a Killer Whale flying the plane.

DomCasual
07-15-2011, 12:13 PM
Um that's a South Park picture with a Dolphin and a Killer Whale flying the plane.

Oh, got it. I thought you had been possessed by Gaffney, for a minute.

DBroncos4life
07-15-2011, 12:20 PM
Oh, got it. I thought you had been possessed by Gaffney, for a minute.

Lol, heavens no!

Punisher
07-15-2011, 01:41 PM
What about the Jesus Lizard

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/2/24/d205ba1b-96dd-4597-a9ef-e26b554849e5.gif

Kaylore
07-15-2011, 01:48 PM
American culture likes movies/tv/music where people die....

Just sayin'.

I think we're arguing two different things...

Hotwheelz
07-15-2011, 01:54 PM
Its a nice idea but i think other people have probably put a bit more thought and research into it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EUbZdIzA30

you really have to watch this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquatic_ape_hypothesis

The aquatic ape hypothesis has some valid points but there are just too many holes in it.
Disinformation.

epicSocialism4tw
07-15-2011, 02:20 PM
I think we're arguing two different things...

I don't think that dude knows what he's arguing. Probably about 6.7 billion too many bong hits.

Requiem
07-15-2011, 02:38 PM
pants sizes ten times too big fatty

DenverBrit
07-15-2011, 02:59 PM
I don't think that dude knows what he's arguing. Probably about 6.7 billion too many bong hits.

That would explain your avatar. :wiggle:

ghwk
07-15-2011, 03:05 PM
That would explain your avatar. :wiggle:

Is is possible epic is an evolved dung beetle? It would explain a lot....

DenverBrit
07-15-2011, 03:08 PM
Is is possible epic is an evolved dung beetle? It would explain a lot....

Not sure about the 'evolved.'

myMind
07-15-2011, 03:15 PM
Hey, maybe there is just another species that has evolved a form of higher intelligence, and it has absolutely nothing to do with us...just maybe?

Houshyamama
07-15-2011, 03:24 PM
Hey, maybe there is just another species that has evolved a form of higher intelligence, and it has absolutely nothing to do with us...just maybe?

wut

epicSocialism4tw
07-15-2011, 03:25 PM
Hey, maybe there is just another species that has evolved a form of higher intelligence, and it has absolutely nothing to do with us...just maybe?

There are varying degrees of intelligence all throughout the animal world, even in invertebrates.

Check out cuttlefish and the mode of communication they have developed. Fascinating.

Whales can communicate over extremely long distances and have a complex system of language.

alkemical
07-15-2011, 03:29 PM
I think we're arguing two different things...

no way dude. I like turtles and sushi too...


did you see dolphins make porn with stallone?

myMind
07-15-2011, 04:14 PM
wut

Dolphins aren't evolved humans, despite the OP's overwhelming evidence.
Sarcasm button.

broncocalijohn
07-15-2011, 04:19 PM
I can't tell if this thread is a MacGruder parody thread or if some of the people in it are serious.

Oh, do I have to put down the three phases over and over for you?

Rock Chalk
07-15-2011, 04:23 PM
Octopii, much smarter than Dolphins.

Hotwheelz
07-15-2011, 04:27 PM
Dolphins aren't evolved humans, despite the OP's overwhelming evidence.
Sarcasm button.

You're all just sheeple. How about you take your head out of the sand and open your eyes to what's going on? You're being lied to... WAKE UP!

broncocalijohn
07-15-2011, 04:48 PM
You're all just sheeple. How about you take your head out of the sand and open your eyes to what's going on? You're being lied to... WAKE UP!

You forgot to tell us that we are owned. Or do we have to first tell you where you are wrong?

epicSocialism4tw
07-15-2011, 05:02 PM
Octopii, much smarter than Dolphins.

They are extremely cool and are one of the most intelligent invertebrates, but check this out:
http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/dolphin-brain.gif

There's alot of cerebral tissue there. That's where complex thought is made. It looks like they have relatively massive temporal lobes (hearing integration), and a relatively big frontal lobe (complex reasoning). They also have a relatively massive cerebellum (balance among many other things).

Hotwheelz
07-15-2011, 05:04 PM
You forgot to tell us that we are owned. Or do we have to first tell you where you are wrong?

I'm not wrong. It's irrefutable.

Rock Chalk
07-15-2011, 05:05 PM
They are extremely cool and are one of the most intelligent invertebrates, but check this out:
http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/dolphin-brain.gif

There's alot of cerebral tissue there. That's where complex thought is made. It looks like they have relatively massive temporal lobes (hearing integration), and a relatively big frontal lobe (complex reasoning). They also have a relatively massive cerebellum (balance among many other things).

Cerebrel tissue matters little. Comparitively , Dolphis have the second largest brain size compared to body size on teh planet (next to Humans). Its a matter of ratios.

Octopii brains technically extend all through their 8 appendages though what is counted is the part in their head and that is still relatively large. They are unique among animal species though in that their nervous system is autonomous, unlike every other species out there. Their arms do their own will until controlled by the master part of their brain.

epicSocialism4tw
07-15-2011, 05:26 PM
Cerebrel tissue matters little. Comparitively , Dolphis have the second largest brain size compared to body size on teh planet (next to Humans). Its a matter of ratios.

In vertebrates, cerebral tissue is where the integration of the different nuclei takes places. The more cerebral tissue, the more an organism is capable of building information upon other information. The ear of the dolphin transmits a specific set of electrical signals to specific places in the cerebrum called nuclei. The more nuclei available to the sensory organ, the more the dolphin is able to organize information and respond to it appropriately. Its where learning takes place as well. More tissue means more neurons. More neurons means more dendrites and axons. More dendrites and axons means more ways to pass information. More ways to pass information means more ways to categorize it and file it away. Its like a permutation.


Octopii brains technically extend all through their 8 appendages though what is counted is the part in their head and that is still relatively large. They are unique among animal species though in that their nervous system is autonomous, unlike every other species out there. Their arms do their own will until controlled by the master part of their brain.

Oh, I agree, Octopi are fascinating. I used to teach a lab where we did dissection and studied several types of cephalopods.

I always thought that the coolest aspect of the octopus brain is the way it is able to literally create art to conceal itself. The chromatophores (color-changing cells) in the skin are neurally controlled. The thing perceives the ocean floor in minute detail, and then creates on its skin a projection of that image in a matter of nanoseconds. How long does it take a human to paint a work of art in that detail? Sometimes weeks.

broncosteven
07-15-2011, 05:26 PM
They do enjoy Teh Rape too.

Only in Dolphin Jail