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View Full Version : Craziest or funniest thing you said to get laid...


Archer81
03-31-2011, 03:02 AM
Craziest/ Funniest thing you have said to get laid...

Most adults have at least one incidence of being less then honorable to get some. This would be the thread to share it. Considering the success of the condom thread and the 10 things said at moment of event horizon, I figure why the f not.

Have at it.

:Broncos:

FireFly
03-31-2011, 04:01 AM
i love you

TheReverend
03-31-2011, 04:56 AM
I swear I never slept with your sister.

RhymesayersDU
03-31-2011, 05:02 AM
i love you

Pretty much. I've done a variation of this. I want to commit to you, etc.

AZorange1
03-31-2011, 05:45 AM
"I promise, I won't put it in"

Cleo McDowell
03-31-2011, 05:46 AM
"I promise, I won't put it in"

yes. this, followed by "just the tip"

gunns
03-31-2011, 06:12 AM
Craziest/ Funniest thing you have said to get laid...

Most adults have at least one incidence of being less then honorable to get some. This would be the thread to share it. Considering the success of the condom thread and the 10 things said at moment of event horizon, I figure why the f not.

Have at it.

:Broncos:

I don't know that we women have to say or concoct anything to get some. You guys always seems to be willing. I would think for us women it would be something less honorable to get out of doing it which, for me, was most often when having young kids.

"That time of the month" seemed to work the best, although you couldn't use it too often for obvious reasons. Saying you are sick has to be planned carefully. You could say you have a sore throat but could get "I have some cream to help that sore throat". Often a very good acting job is required if using sickness as an excuse.

gunns
03-31-2011, 06:19 AM
i love you

This is probably the best one.

That One Guy
03-31-2011, 06:41 AM
I don't know that we women have to say or concoct anything to get some. You guys always seems to be willing. I would think for us women it would be something less honorable to get out of doing it which, for me, was most often when having young kids.

"That time of the month" seemed to work the best, although you couldn't use it too often for obvious reasons. Saying you are sick has to be planned carefully. You could say you have a sore throat but could get "I have some cream to help that sore throat". Often a very good acting job is required if using sickness as an excuse.

I thought I came up with that. It's my solution to everything from a headache to a cut to the bills being late... it fixes everything!

Or so I've been trying to claim for the better part of 10 years...

rugbythug
03-31-2011, 08:04 AM
I have never misrepresented myself it would ruin it for me. And after being married 8 years I really can't.

HAT
03-31-2011, 08:13 AM
Stop your grinnin' & drop your linen...

ShutDownPoster
03-31-2011, 08:13 AM
Well, it's pretty big, not sure if it can fit, lets try it out....then I woke up. LOL

bendog
03-31-2011, 08:20 AM
I'm not begging, I'm just saying pllllleaaaase.

ShutDownPoster
03-31-2011, 08:25 AM
"tubesteak anyone...?" This i really said

oubronco
03-31-2011, 08:27 AM
I don't know that we women have to say or concoct anything to get some. You guys always seems to be willing. I would think for us women it would be something less honorable to get out of doing it which, for me, was most often when having young kids.

"That time of the month" seemed to work the best, although you couldn't use it too often for obvious reasons. Saying you are sick has to be planned carefully. You could say you have a sore throat but could get "I have some cream to help that sore throat". Often a very good acting job is required if using sickness as an excuse.

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, I have a headache! Perfect, her husband said. I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with crushed aspirin. You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you!

schaaf
03-31-2011, 08:31 AM
Wanna Play Hide The Salami?

HAT
03-31-2011, 08:48 AM
I'm not begging, I'm just saying pllllleaaaase.

C'mon, baaaaaaaby....Don't say maybe!

Pony Boy
03-31-2011, 08:56 AM
I bet I'm too big for you....

Kaylore
03-31-2011, 09:19 AM
I do.

Boobs McGee
03-31-2011, 09:48 AM
<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2RabecxZKmU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

chickennob2
03-31-2011, 10:04 AM
Wow, I don't have any good responses to this. I guess the worst was "it's just allergies" to explain a runny nose and slight cough. Actually ended up giving the girl mono...

(Didn't know it was mono at the time, but I don't have allergies...)

woodall
03-31-2011, 10:12 AM
I do.

Winner...lock the thread!

Beantown Bronco
03-31-2011, 10:14 AM
"I'm Ben Roethlisberger"

bronco militia
03-31-2011, 10:18 AM
"2 inches.....from the floor!"

Smiling Assassin27
03-31-2011, 10:26 AM
Can I have your phone number after we have sex?

You remind me of a championship bass---I don't know whether I should mount you or eat you.

oubronco
03-31-2011, 10:30 AM
Can I have your phone number after we have sex?

You remind me of a championship bass---I don't know whether I should mount you or eat you.

Hilarious! :notworthy

Pony Boy
03-31-2011, 10:43 AM
You better remember my name because you'll be screaming it later!!

Doggcow
03-31-2011, 10:48 AM
"I'll buy you coffee in the morning"

Actually worked. Lol. In fact, she kind of liked it...

At the coffee shop she's like "May I have a -some chick drink-. I EARNED IT!"

Beantown Bronco
03-31-2011, 10:52 AM
"I'll buy you coffee in the morning"

Actually worked. Lol. In fact, she kind of liked it...

At the coffee shop she's like "May I have a -some chick drink-. I EARNED IT!"

You should've replied, "Huh, what are you talking about? I did all the work."

Doggcow
03-31-2011, 10:53 AM
You should've replied, "Huh, what are you talking about? I did all the work."

Oh, she earned it. lol

Smiling Assassin27
03-31-2011, 10:54 AM
You sure have a great looking tooth.

Willynowei
03-31-2011, 10:56 AM
"I promise, I won't put it in"

In retrospect, convincing her of that when we couldn't get a condom was really ****ing stupid.

Archer81
03-31-2011, 04:39 PM
It's just one night, and its only gay if you want to do it again.

Which he did.

Oh, college.

:Broncos:

Mogulseeker
03-31-2011, 04:54 PM
Drunkily texting "I want to **** you" has worked for me on several occasions. It also ruined a really amazing friendship.

I can't think of a time that I lied for sex. I'm usually a gentleman.

Doggcow
03-31-2011, 05:17 PM
Drunkily texting "I want to **** you" has worked for me on several occasions. It also ruined a really amazing friendship.

I can't think of a time that I lied for sex. I'm usually a gentleman.

The thread wasn't about lying.

So, due to and in response to, the last sentence, I think you're full of ****.

Chris
03-31-2011, 05:18 PM
<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vYsYJ1Zf3Z8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Mogulseeker
03-31-2011, 05:25 PM
I wanna know what kind of pancakes to order you in the morning, hahaha

Doggcow
04-01-2011, 03:08 PM
Me: Rebel stole your spot in bed I think.
Lizzie: It's ok, Ill just take it back.
Me: IDK, He's pretty stubborn.
Lizzie: So am I.
Me: Yes. I noticed. It'll be like Clash of the Titans!
...Lizzie: Lol
Me: Then Ill release the Krakken!

listopencil
04-01-2011, 03:11 PM
Maybe if you rub it the swelling will go down.

GoBroncos DownUnder
04-01-2011, 03:30 PM
"Konnichiwa" ;)

broncswin
04-01-2011, 03:50 PM
streaking worked plenty of times in college

Butterscotch Stallion
04-01-2011, 04:01 PM
I remember singing this Monty Python Song.

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broncocalijohn
04-01-2011, 09:28 PM
My Dad told me this one worked when he was a teenager. "We're both adults. We can make adult decisions." Nothing like making a 16 year old become an instant adult just by my Dad's words.

Tombstone RJ
04-01-2011, 11:08 PM
are you through yet?

I keed, i never say that. I'm just happy to be here...

broncobum6162
04-02-2011, 07:20 AM
Have you heard of the winter storm warning? It said to expect 8-10"!

Tim
04-02-2011, 04:01 PM
If you play your cards right I won't turn this rape into a murder

That One Guy
04-02-2011, 04:14 PM
If you play your cards right I won't turn this rape into a murder

LOL

Morbid and warped...

enjolras
04-02-2011, 04:17 PM
LOL

Morbid and warped...

This seems somehow warranted.

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MZ1lc6KASWg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

baja
04-02-2011, 04:43 PM
I don't know that we women have to say or concoct anything to get some. You guys always seems to be willing. I would think for us women it would be something less honorable to get out of doing it which, for me, was most often when having young kids.

"That time of the month" seemed to work the best, although you couldn't use it too often for obvious reasons. Saying you are sick has to be planned carefully. You could say you have a sore throat but could get "I have some cream to help that sore throat". Often a very good acting job is required if using sickness as an excuse.

The "I have herpes" line was always very effective.

baja
04-02-2011, 04:53 PM
how much

baja
04-02-2011, 04:55 PM
You applied there? My sister works at admissions for that school I can get you in if you let me in.

Tom G
04-02-2011, 08:38 PM
Will you marry me?