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TailgateNut
03-01-2011, 06:41 AM
E-mail I recd yesterday.

"A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault.""

baja
03-01-2011, 07:16 AM
LOL good one.

TailgateNut
03-01-2011, 07:41 AM
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to Jump off a bridge so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you Doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an Opportunity, he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have Ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous.
Why Are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

Phantom
03-01-2011, 07:56 AM
Saw the same joke - rolls reversed - about 6 months ago. It was a much better fit.

*edit - the first joke that is

TailgateNut
03-01-2011, 08:00 AM
BREAKING NEWS:

The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of "SUCK IT UP" and "MOVE ON" and crashed into "WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS" before coming to a complete stop at "GET THE HELL OVER IT!!!!"

Reporting live from "KWITCHERBITCHEN "

That One Guy
03-01-2011, 08:01 AM
Saw the same joke - rolls reversed - about 6 months ago. It was a much better fit.

*edit - the first joke that is

Yeah, joke was funnier before people start interchanging things thinking it fits their agenda.

TailgateNut
03-01-2011, 08:04 AM
Yeah, joke was funnier before people start interchanging things thinking it fits their agenda.


See Thread Title.


...and pull panties from crack!