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Ratboy
11-26-2010, 05:13 AM
How are you handling finances in your household, specifically giving money to your spouse that does not work?

Do you give them full reigns of your money and let them pay bills, or do you give them enough to pay a cell phone bill, some shopping, gas, etc.. ?

Advice, Experiences...?

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 06:29 AM
Me and the wife both work. She let's me have a couple dollars every week for gas and lunch.

ak1971
11-26-2010, 06:40 AM
H, or do you give them enough to pay a cell phone bill, some shopping, gas, etc.. ?



seriously? Yeah I keep my wife chained up in the basement too..

theAPAOps5
11-26-2010, 06:44 AM
I was going to say, maybe a little more eloquently, that our money is our money. We are a team. I am not treating my wife like our kid and giving her an allowance!

We both work, but when she didn't it was the same.

HILife
11-26-2010, 06:44 AM
Me and the wife both work. She let's me have a couple dollars every week for gas and lunch.

http://www.fishing4fun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/sm_sexy_whip.jpg

Jay3
11-26-2010, 06:49 AM
I'm the breadwinner, but my wife is more stingy with money than me, better all around with saving money.

So if anything, I'm the one that needs an allowance.

You know that scene in Dumb and Dumber where Lloyd comes back from the store with a big foam hat, a paddle ball, and a bunch of other things? That's me when my wife sends me to the store.

theAPAOps5
11-26-2010, 06:52 AM
I'm the breadwinner, but my wife is more stingy with money than me, better all around with saving money.

So if anything, I'm the one that needs an allowance.

You know that scene in Dumb and Dumber where Lloyd comes back from the store with a big foam hat, a paddle ball, and a bunch of other things? That's me when my wife sends me to the store.

Ha thats me too! If I can't sleep and infomercials are on, I am in trouble!

Ray Finkle
11-26-2010, 06:54 AM
I was going to say, maybe a little more eloquently, that our money is our money. We are a team. I am not treating my wife like our kid and giving her an allowance!

We both work, but when she didn't it was the same.

This....my wife makes a lot more than me and it's are money. Now if I go and drop $200 on something I want, we may disagree but I'd do the same if she bought something large.

elsid13
11-26-2010, 06:58 AM
I see this thread with Mardela Beach,NC potential

TailgateNut
11-26-2010, 06:58 AM
seriously? Yeah I keep my wife chained up in the basement too..


LOLGood one. I was going to make a similar comment.

elsid13
11-26-2010, 06:58 AM
seriously? Yeah I keep my wife chained up in the basement too..

someone got to watch your meth lab.

TailgateNut
11-26-2010, 07:05 AM
How are you handling finances in your household, specifically giving money to your spouse that does not work?

Do you give them full reigns of your money and let them pay bills, or do you give them enough to pay a cell phone bill, some shopping, gas, etc.. ?

Advice, Experiences...?


Two questions:

How long have you been married?
How long do you intend to stay married?

zdoor
11-26-2010, 07:47 AM
I am the primary bread winner but my wife also pulls in good income and is a CPA. She has handled all our finances since we were first married... I'm the one with the allowance and it's nice not having to deal with any of the bills...

Dr. Broncenstein
11-26-2010, 07:53 AM
I was just about to start a thread asking if it's normal to let my barefoot and pregnant wife out of the kitchen. Wanted to bounce the idea off you guys.

TailgateNut
11-26-2010, 07:56 AM
I was just about to start a thread asking if it's normal to let my barefoot and pregnant wife out of the kitchen. Wanted to bounce the idea off you guys.

Only on sunday afternoons (for a little R+R in the back yard), and while she's out there, she should pick up the dog poo.:yayaya:

BroncoBuff
11-26-2010, 07:58 AM
This sounds like one of those "I need your help, the woman I love wants me to leave Texas and my family and move with her to North Carolina ... she's kind of a pain, and my family doesn't care for her" threads.

I ain't fallin for no banana in the tailpipe. Again.

TailgateNut
11-26-2010, 07:59 AM
This sounds like one of those "I need your help, the woman I love wants me to leave Texas and my family and move with her to North Carolina ... she's kind of a pain, and my family doesn't care for her" threads.

I ain't fallin for no banana in the tailpipe. Again.


No, considering the OP, this one is for real (however antiquated the notion/question may be).

Dr. Broncenstein
11-26-2010, 08:03 AM
http://hintofsarcasm.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/blackeye-wii.jpg

No, you cannot have an allowance. Not yours.

chanesaw
11-26-2010, 08:10 AM
Just find something that works for both of you, and don't worry about what everybody else does.

jhns
11-26-2010, 08:20 AM
I don't have a wife but my girl gets about a $25 "allowance" every time she f's me and then she goes back to her corner until I need her again.

Miss I.
11-26-2010, 08:22 AM
How are you handling finances in your household, specifically giving money to your spouse that does not work?

Do you give them full reigns of your money and let them pay bills, or do you give them enough to pay a cell phone bill, some shopping, gas, etc.. ?

Advice, Experiences...?

Well, being unmarried (and gratefully so, no offense) I can't say much on this, but what I would think is that in any relationships you play to the strengths of the individuals. Who is a better money manager and let them do the books. I do understand some spouses have a joint account that really is for the bill paying and then set aside set amount in separate accounts that does not have the other person on them at all. It's not much, just enough to be able to get a few splurge items without a fight. My sister also has a credit card entirely in her own name without her husband on it so that in case something happens to him (he's military) she has access to some funds in case their accounts get frozen until all the estate is settled (which happen sometimes even with power of attorney, etc, sometimes there's a few days or weeks lag time to get access)

But I guess it all depends on your relationship with your spouse. I do have to say your description sounds a bit well odd. I certainly hope you didn't intend to make it sound like your wife is a child who needs to be kept away from your stuff. As for the spouse who doesn't work bit, umm, do you have kids or a house that requires upkeep of anykind? Because if you aren't doing it, she probably is and that my friend is definitely work. When I get rich winning the lottery I want a maid and a cook. Anyway, good luck with all that. Hope you two work that out.

Sassy
11-26-2010, 08:38 AM
Seriously? This is a ? I'm with contributing to a account for shared bills and then each having a separate account for themselves. I've had my own money for so long I'm not about to get an "allowance". Screw that crap. If that was the way it was going to be...I wouldn't get married.

Miss I.
11-26-2010, 08:47 AM
Seriously? This is a ? I'm with contributing to a account for shared bills and then each having a separate account for themselves. I've had my own money for so long I'm not about to get an "allowance". Screw that crap. If that was the way it was going to be...I wouldn't get married.

Do you hear that Hogan?! Hee hee ;D

GRRRRL Power I say! :egbgb::egbgb:

Sassy
11-26-2010, 08:51 AM
Do you hear that Hogan?! Hee hee ;D

GRRRRL Power I say! :egbgb::egbgb:

Well, if we both have jobs I'm not going to tell him how to spend his money and I would hope he wouldn't tell me how to spend mine. Ha!

Sassy
11-26-2010, 08:58 AM
How are you handling finances in your household, specifically giving money to your spouse that does not work?

Do you give them full reigns of your money and let them pay bills, or do you give them enough to pay a cell phone bill, some shopping, gas, etc.. ?

Advice, Experiences...?

If you have kids...trust me...she works~!

Pony Boy
11-26-2010, 09:05 AM
Just toss them the old weenie every now and then that all a wife needs

Jay3
11-26-2010, 09:07 AM
The OP may have been a little bit sloppy in his phrasing, but it's a legit issue for many couples, even where both work. The "it's our money" is ideal, but it's not the reality in all of today's marriages.


A lot of couples are taking steps to separate out their finances, keep separate checking accounts, etc. I know someone who's husband spent everything she had, ran up bills, then left her for another woman. Now she's got no credit.

So, depending on the arrangement, Christmas shopping is a time where there has to be a discussion about the money, where it's coming from, how much each would like to spend and contribute, etc.

Hogan11
11-26-2010, 09:17 AM
http://hintofsarcasm.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/blackeye-wii.jpg

No, you cannot have an allowance. Not yours.

"The judge say it's much cheaper if you don't beat her" - B.B. King

maher_tyler
11-26-2010, 09:38 AM
When i WAS married..we paid our bills with a joint account and then had our own accounts as well. She was horrible with her own finances and i'm glad i never put my whole paycheck into the joint account together with her..when she was in Korea..she would "accidentally" take money out of the joint account..after a month of her being there i quit putting money in. If your going to get a joint account and put both incomes together..you need to have a lot of trust in the other person to not go on some sort of shopping spree etc. As long as you communicate it shouldn't be a problem though...

OBF1
11-26-2010, 09:40 AM
Chica... Can I post to this thread???

broncogary
11-26-2010, 09:43 AM
Chica... Can I post to this thread???

Why, do you need an advance on your allowance? Ha!

Sassy
11-26-2010, 10:11 AM
Chica... Can I post to this thread???

You forgot to invite Hogan and I to the Wedding ;)

gyldenlove
11-26-2010, 10:12 AM
I spend my money, she spends her money, we share bills. Being that my girlfriend has a higher income potential than me, I will probably end up on an allowance as I don't think my salary (whatever I end up doing with a PhD in physics is not going to make me rich) is not going to cover the lifestyle I am aspiring to.

Meck77
11-26-2010, 10:29 AM
There is no clear cut answer. All I know is all my wives are happy.

Archer81
11-26-2010, 10:36 AM
For a brief second I thought this was 1953.

Do you sleep in seperate beds? You dont have a kid named beaver, do you? (Side note...who the hell would name a kid "the beave"?)

Allowances...good gravy.

:Broncos:

Miss I.
11-26-2010, 11:17 AM
There is no clear cut answer. All I know is all my wives are happy.

Do you have a harem or are you just Mormon? ;D

Sassy
11-26-2010, 11:23 AM
Do you have a harem or are you just Mormon? ;D

He's just full of BS ;D

TailgateNut
11-26-2010, 11:24 AM
Do you have a harem or are you just Mormon? ;D


There are one too many "M's" in that word.;)

bronco610
11-26-2010, 11:27 AM
My wife and I don't have to worry about this, since we both went back to school we don't have any money !!!

Kaylore
11-26-2010, 11:34 AM
My wife and I camped out at Best Buy for four hours for a 50" Television. It was horrible and awesome all at once. We got it. Just woke up. Ha!

mr007
11-26-2010, 11:36 AM
Since there's a bunch of retards in this thread that can't answer a very serious question without alluding to you keeping your wife in the corner, in the kitchen, etc - the best answer is something someone already stated - and that is it all depends.

Who's the better with money out of the both of you? Do you both make money and have a steady income? Either way - if you intend to have a truly healthy relationship, there have to be guidelines for both of you. If your wife cannot control finances and just spends all the time - yes it makes sense to either have separate accounts in which a certain amount of "fun" money is allotted to every month to spend on whatever you want, a joint account that is used for bills - and a savings account to which you put money away for future house payments, kids, etc.

It's all about good communication and coming to a mutual understanding of what's best for each other and making sure you don't shoot yourself in the foot should you come under some sort of financial stress. It might make sense for the wife to get an extra amount of that fun money every month since women's expenses are generally higher than men's (clothing, haircuts, spa days, etc).

If you're both really good with money, maybe it makes sense to just have a single joint account and just discuss any big purchases that either of you may want to make regardless of whose money it is.

My 2 cents.

worm
11-26-2010, 12:00 PM
Everybody, man or woman, needs a slush fund.

manchambo
11-26-2010, 12:15 PM
I've been wondering lately how much TV time I should allow my wife.

I think three hours a day tops. Thoughts?

gunns
11-26-2010, 12:26 PM
Since there's a bunch of retards in this thread that can't answer a very serious question without alluding to you keeping your wife in the corner, in the kitchen, etc - the best answer is something someone already stated - and that is it all depends.

Who's the better with money out of the both of you? Do you both make money and have a steady income? Either way - if you intend to have a truly healthy relationship, there have to be guidelines for both of you. If your wife cannot control finances and just spends all the time - yes it makes sense to either have separate accounts in which a certain amount of "fun" money is allotted to every month to spend on whatever you want, a joint account that is used for bills - and a savings account to which you put money away for future house payments, kids, etc.

It's all about good communication and coming to a mutual understanding of what's best for each other and making sure you don't shoot yourself in the foot should you come under some sort of financial stress. It might make sense for the wife to get an extra amount of that fun money every month since women's expenses are generally higher than men's (clothing, haircuts, spa days, etc).

If you're both really good with money, maybe it makes sense to just have a single joint account and just discuss any big purchases that either of you may want to make regardless of whose money it is.

My 2 cents.

Bingo. I think the OP made the mistake of calling it an allowance. Communication is the main key.

My son has the job and his wife stays home with the 3 kids. Since she is better with the money she handles it all. My son is very appreciative of her skills and has learned his own appreciation of money and saving. He will call her and ask her if he can buy something, especially since he has very high end tastes. She says she recognizes that he works hard and gives in at times to things that are very non esstential. She rarely buys anything for herself and since I feel she has the harder job for Christmas last year I got the both of them a day at a spa for her. My son recognized what I was doing and in the end he benefited from it too.

Bronco Yoda
11-26-2010, 12:40 PM
I'm the breadwinner, but my wife is more stingy with money than me, better all around with saving money.

So if anything, I'm the one that needs an allowance.

You know that scene in Dumb and Dumber where Lloyd comes back from the store with a big foam hat, a paddle ball, and a bunch of other things? That's me when my wife sends me to the store.

lol... that's me too. I'm the breadwinner and get to spend what she lets me Ha!

strafen
11-26-2010, 12:41 PM
Both my wife and I work.
She's got her own checking account, I have mine, and we have another joint account we use to pay bills.
When my wife needs extra cash, I just give it to her.
For most part, I let her manage our finances. She does a better job than me...

enjolras
11-26-2010, 12:45 PM
I don't see how you can have a functioning marriage without equal access to the money...I just don't.

bowtown
11-26-2010, 12:50 PM
I was just about to start a thread asking if it's normal to let my barefoot and pregnant wife out of the kitchen. Wanted to bounce the idea off you guys.

Barefooot? Laughable. You'll never get them to bind that way.

strafen
11-26-2010, 12:51 PM
I don't see how you can have a functioning marriage without equal access to the money...I just don't.
You can't have all yor eggs in one basket.
We have a nice arrangement that even though we have different checking accounts, it is still OUR money when it comes down to it

bowtown
11-26-2010, 12:54 PM
My wife and I camped out at Best Buy for four hours for a 50" Television. It was horrible and awesome all at once. We got it. Just woke up. Ha!

Pssst... the internet affords you other opportunities aside from message boards. Online shopping has come a long way.

Jason in LA
11-26-2010, 12:55 PM
Relationship threads are the best! ;D

Well I'm single, but I wouldn't mind marrying a rich woman who would give me an allowance. As long as she's hot and easy to get along with. Wait, I don't think that woman exist.

Miss I.
11-26-2010, 12:58 PM
Relationship threads are the best! ;D

Well I'm single, but I wouldn't mind marrying a rich woman who would give me an allowance. As long as she's hot and easy to get along with. Wait, I don't think that woman exist.

Funny, I am single. I'd love a rich man who would give me money, also hot and easy to get a long with. Again, like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and an ethical politician, this ideal man does not exist. ;D

Hogan11
11-26-2010, 01:12 PM
Everybody, man or woman, needs a slush fund.

or in some cases......a war chest.

Taco John
11-26-2010, 01:17 PM
How are you handling finances in your household, specifically giving money to your spouse that does not work?

Do you give them full reigns of your money and let them pay bills, or do you give them enough to pay a cell phone bill, some shopping, gas, etc.. ?

Advice, Experiences...?


We put all of our money in a single "Family" account, and I am the "treasurer" of that account. On the 1st and the 15th, we both get an equal "pay day" into our personal checking accounts. Bill, Groceries and necessities are paid out of the family account. Personal items and leisure are paid out of the personal accounts. We track everything using Microsoft Money so that we can forcast our cash flow.

Archer81
11-26-2010, 01:38 PM
A buddy of mine was in a relationship for around 8 or 9 years. Before they broke up he told me (we were very inebriated) that what was his was hers, and what was hers is hers. She overheard this bit of drunken wisdom, threw a glass at his head and they broke up shortly after.

Shenanigans.

:Broncos:

Bronco Yoda
11-26-2010, 02:03 PM
I was just about to start a thread asking if it's normal to let my barefoot and pregnant wife out of the kitchen. Wanted to bounce the idea off you guys.

Only if she's wearing a sexy maid outfit, piggy tails, red lipstick and ready and waiting on you hand and foot.

That's my general rule. ROFL!

Miss I.
11-26-2010, 02:05 PM
Only if she's wearing a sexy maid outfit, piggy tails, red lipstick and ready and waiting on you hand and foot.

That's my general rule. ROFL!

hmm, I wear that everyday. Perhaps I should rethink that. ;D

Sassy
11-26-2010, 02:10 PM
Relationship threads are the best! ;D

Well, right now they are more entertaining than our Broncos!

Bronco Yoda
11-26-2010, 02:12 PM
hmm, I wear that everyday. Perhaps I should rethink that. ;D

See... it's that mothers complex striking once again. I blame you for all my eccentricities. And people wonder where I get that 'running down the street butt naked shouting victory' after a Bronco win.

Miss I.
11-26-2010, 02:23 PM
See... it's that mothers complex striking once again. I blame you for all my eccentricities. And people wonder where I get that 'running down the street butt naked shouting victory' after a Bronco win.

that only proves I raised you right boy! don't be talking smack to yo mama now. :sunshine:

Bronco Yoda
11-26-2010, 02:44 PM
that only proves I raised you right boy! don't be talking smack to yo mama now. :sunshine:

Yes Mother! :gripe:

Ratboy
11-26-2010, 03:00 PM
People are misunderstanding this. I will try to rephrase this question.

For those with a spouse who DO NOT work, how much are you willing to let your partner spend for leisure expenses before consulting with you.

Ratboy
11-26-2010, 03:01 PM
Seriously? This is a ? I'm with contributing to a account for shared bills and then each having a separate account for themselves. I've had my own money for so long I'm not about to get an "allowance". Screw that crap. If that was the way it was going to be...I wouldn't get married.

Do you work?

Ratboy
11-26-2010, 03:08 PM
Since there's a bunch of retards in this thread that can't answer a very serious question without alluding to you keeping your wife in the corner, in the kitchen, etc - the best answer is something someone already stated - and that is it all depends.

Who's the better with money out of the both of you? Do you both make money and have a steady income? Either way - if you intend to have a truly healthy relationship, there have to be guidelines for both of you. If your wife cannot control finances and just spends all the time - yes it makes sense to either have separate accounts in which a certain amount of "fun" money is allotted to every month to spend on whatever you want, a joint account that is used for bills - and a savings account to which you put money away for future house payments, kids, etc.

It's all about good communication and coming to a mutual understanding of what's best for each other and making sure you don't shoot yourself in the foot should you come under some sort of financial stress. It might make sense for the wife to get an extra amount of that fun money every month since women's expenses are generally higher than men's (clothing, haircuts, spa days, etc).

If you're both really good with money, maybe it makes sense to just have a single joint account and just discuss any big purchases that either of you may want to make regardless of whose money it is.

My 2 cents.

Good input.

Chris
11-26-2010, 03:09 PM
There is no clear cut answer. All I know is all my wives are happy.

What Meck said. The trick is to make your wives jealous of each other.

ant1999e
11-26-2010, 03:16 PM
If you don't work, you don't eat.

Fedaykin
11-26-2010, 03:26 PM
A couple I know does an "allowance" for each person. At various times one or both have worked, and all money goes into a common pot and all common expenses (mortgage, kids, etc.) pay out of the common pot.

They each get a certain amount/mo to spend on whatever they want for their "own stuff" like computers, clothes, etc with no rules on what can/can't be bought with that.

Seems like a good arrangement as they don't ever fight over money.

At the end of the day, a marriage is a partnership, and if you aren't willing to unconditionally share *everything* (even your paycheck) with your spouse, you probably are doomed to a failed marriage. Just food for thought

Miss I.
11-26-2010, 03:27 PM
A couple I know does an "allowance" for each person. At various times one or both have worked, and all money goes into a common pot and all common expenses (mortgage, kids, etc.) pay out of the common pot.

They each get a certain amount/mo to spend on whatever they want for their "own stuff" like computers, clothes, etc with no rules on what can/can't be bought with that.

Seems like a good arrangement as they don't ever fight over money.

At the end of the day, a marriage is a partnership, and if you aren't willing to unconditionally share *everything* (even your paycheck) with your spouse, you probably are doomed to a failed marriage. Just food for thought

excellent post sir.

TailgateNut
11-26-2010, 03:28 PM
Relationship threads are the best! ;D

Well I'm single, but I wouldn't mind marrying a rich woman who would give me an allowance. As long as she's hot and easy to get along with. Wait, I don't think that woman exist.


Nothin like set your sights high. LOL

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 03:31 PM
This thread is an A. It would be an A+ if a Hillis debate broke out.

manchambo
11-26-2010, 03:32 PM
People are misunderstanding this. I will try to rephrase this question.

For those with a spouse who DO NOT work, how much are you willing to let your partner spend for leisure expenses before consulting with you.

You haven't really given any background sufficient to make a conclusion on this. Have you and your wife had problems with this? Have you or she gotten in credit card debt or something?

If the answer to those questions is no, then you shouldn't be doing anything like you're talking about. If you're married, it doesn't make any difference that one person earned the money--you are in things together.

And if there's some problem with finances that needs to be dealt with by setting limits, it should be mutual, and it should have nothing to do with who makes the money.

go_broncos
11-26-2010, 03:36 PM
A couple I know does an "allowance" for each person. At various times one or both have worked, and all money goes into a common pot and all common expenses (mortgage, kids, etc.) pay out of the common pot.

They each get a certain amount/mo to spend on whatever they want for their "own stuff" like computers, clothes, etc with no rules on what can/can't be bought with that.

Seems like a good arrangement as they don't ever fight over money.

At the end of the day, a marriage is a partnership, and if you aren't willing to unconditionally share *everything* (even your paycheck) with your spouse, you probably are doomed to a failed marriage. Just food for thought

Good post..

TailgateNut
11-26-2010, 03:39 PM
People are misunderstanding this. I will try to rephrase this question.

For those with a spouse who DO NOT work, how much are you willing to let your partner spend for leisure expenses before consulting with you.


Since you're still asking this frigging question, I'll make it easy for you.

Whatever you spend that's not related to bills.

When my wife went back to work nothing changed. I pay all the bills and aside from our combined CDs and savings accounts her income goes to whatever she wants. We both have our separate retirement accounts and share vacation and Mad Money expenses.

Works out fine for both of us

brncs_fan
11-26-2010, 03:39 PM
My wife and I have have this strange concept where we sit down every week, look at the budget, see what is coming in, what is going out, what we are going to do with our money, and plan any big purchases (>$50). Then, we actually trust each other to not go completely against whatever it was that we decided.

Seriously, if you feel like you have to give someone an "allowance" then you need to reexamine your relationship because one or both of you is still acting like a child instead of a grown adult.

Meck77
11-26-2010, 03:49 PM
All kidding aside. I think any system will work as long as the couple lives within their means. No?

Ratboy
11-26-2010, 03:52 PM
Since you're still asking this frigging question, I'll make it easy for you.

Whatever you spend that's not related to bills.

When my wife went back to work nothing changed. I pay all the bills and aside from our combined CDs and savings accounts her income goes to whatever she wants. We both have our separate retirement accounts and share vacation and Mad Money expenses.

Works out fine for both of us

Sure sounds like it...

Ratboy
11-26-2010, 03:55 PM
I am getting the complete opposite from other military friends/family.

Brewer
11-26-2010, 03:57 PM
I don't have a wife but my girl gets about a $25 "allowance" every time she f's me and then she goes back to her corner until I need her again.

Soooooo, you have to pay for sex? That explains pretty much every post you've ever made on the Mane. ROFL!

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 03:58 PM
What does everyone do when the wife wants the TV remote?

Taco John
11-26-2010, 03:59 PM
people are misunderstanding this. I will try to rephrase this question.

For those with a spouse who do not work, how much are you willing to let your partner spend for leisure expenses before consulting with you.


50-50

Taco John
11-26-2010, 03:59 PM
What does everyone do when the wife wants the TV remote?

Head up to my computer and check the Orange Mane.

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 04:00 PM
Head up to my computer and check the Orange Mane.

Touche.

Archer81
11-26-2010, 04:01 PM
When my parents were together they shared everything out of one common account. Bills paid first (included food). Whatever was left went for extras. It was a pretty good system, from what I remember.


:Broncos:

Broncoman13
11-26-2010, 04:20 PM
I agree Meck. Some months I spend more than my wife, some months my wife more than me. If she is working a project (interior decorating usually) I know that my personal budget will most likely be limited for that month. We don't establish limits other than no touching savings for personal fun unless its a family thing such as a vacation or something like that. There are times when her projects go over budget and I will say we probably need to slow down for the next couple of weeks, but I am fortunate that my wife is very frugal and cognizant of our finances. For example, she knows the first of the month is usually tighter than the middle of the month. If we have $1500 of available income during the month it is most likely that $500 of that is available during the beginning of the month and $1000 during the 2nd part of the month. I choose to use my "share" on my G Coupe. She usually uses her share on paint and supplies... again I am fortunate that she spends so much time (and resources) on our home!

Just communicate. You may be feeling the pressure of Christmas and it may be as simple as saying, "hey love, can we slow down on spending for the next couple of months. I would like to save up a bit for Christmas and to catch up after Christmas." That doesn't mean you freeze your accounts and stopping drinking Starbucks completely, but rather you limit the Starbucks trip to once a week. I for example will normally eat out for lunch four or five days a week. If I ask her to slow down, best believe I am not going to eat out four or five days a week! More likely just once that week.

Communication and fairness is the key. And if you're wife is a stay at home mom like my wife is, don't ever compare your work to what she does..., no matter how much money you make she works harder than you. I would never trade jobs with my wife!

Sassy
11-26-2010, 04:28 PM
Do you work?

Yes.

Broncoman13
11-26-2010, 04:28 PM
What does everyone do when the wife wants the TV remote?

This is referred to as having the power in our home! As for what do I do when she asks the remote? Nothing! Most of the time we watch the same shows when she wants to watch TV. If a ball game is on I usually just record it and watch it after she goes to sleep. While she is awake we are usually watching Lie to Me, Criminal Minds, or the Mentalist and we're both happy... though she does make me hold the remote and fast fwd through the commercials.

The only time I have total power control is during a Broncos game. Nobody willing to challenge me on that one so far! ;D

Sassy
11-26-2010, 04:29 PM
I agree Meck. Some months I spend more than my wife, some months my wife more than me. If she is working a project (interior decorating usually) I know that my personal budget will most likely be limited for that month. We don't establish limits other than no touching savings for personal fun unless its a family thing such as a vacation or something like that. There are times when her projects go over budget and I will say we probably need to slow down for the next couple of weeks, but I am fortunate that my wife is very frugal and cognizant of our finances. For example, she knows the first of the month is usually tighter than the middle of the month. If we have $1500 of available income during the month it is most likely that $500 of that is available during the beginning of the month and $1000 during the 2nd part of the month. I choose to use my "share" on my G Coupe. She usually uses her share on paint and supplies... again I am fortunate that she spends so much time (and resources) on our home!

Just communicate. You may be feeling the pressure of Christmas and it may be as simple as saying, "hey love, can we slow down on spending for the next couple of months. I would like to save up a bit for Christmas and to catch up after Christmas." That doesn't mean you freeze your accounts and stopping drinking Starbucks completely, but rather you limit the Starbucks trip to once a week. I for example will normally eat out for lunch four or five days a week. If I ask her to slow down, best believe I am not going to eat out four or five days a week! More likely just once that week.

Communication and fairness is the key. And if you're wife is a stay at home mom like my wife is, don't ever compare your work to what she does..., no matter how much money you make she works harder than you. I would never trade jobs with my wife!

Smart guy right here!

theAPAOps5
11-26-2010, 04:34 PM
People are misunderstanding this. I will try to rephrase this question.

For those with a spouse who DO NOT work, how much are you willing to let your partner spend for leisure expenses before consulting with you.

Well we both work but I am a spender. So my wife and I came up with an amount of money that we could afford to have every month for spending cash. That way we both get to have fun and not blow the money. Hope that helps.

Broncoman13
11-26-2010, 04:41 PM
I am getting the complete opposite from other military friends/family.

You never mentioned the military part. Chances are you're a young enlisted guy and probably don't have a whole lot of additional spending money. I've been there!!! When my wife and I first married I made $650 every two weeks. Our apartment was $400 a month. I had a little Honda Prelude that was $240 per month. Insurance, Utilities, etc... Needless to say it was rough at first. Fortunately we were able to move into base house pretty quickly. My pay dropped to $490 every two weeks but we no longer had to pay for utilities other than phone and cable tv (which I think we still got for free most of the time ;D)

During those days it was tough and extra spending money meant having $40-50 every couple of weeks. You're asking a lot of people on the OM that are well established in their careers and marriages. What we use for our current situations may or may not fit your needs. The one thing that will fit your needs is the communication piece. If you and your wife are willing to understand each other's perspective and team together to fix whatever the issues may be then you'll be fine. If your wife tells you that you need to figure out how to make more money ask her how she feels about working a corner... kidding, but she needs to understand the situation and you need to understand that you need to be patient to get to the point that many people on the OM are talking about. It will come though, as you advance in your career you will find that the more you make the more you spend. I look back to our expenses when I was an airman and think we could live like kings and queens if things were the same as back then... and that was only about 13 years ago!

TJ, the 50/50 is a good rule of thumb but I know if you have an important trip or vacation coming up and you are going over that 50% for the week/month you and your wife would both be okay with it. Same thing with your wife if she decided to totally redo the baby's room and was going to take nearly 100% of yours and hers "allowance" you again would (giving you credit for being a smart dude here...) most likely tell her to go for it!

Broncoman13
11-26-2010, 04:46 PM
When my parents were together they shared everything out of one common account. Bills paid first (included food). Whatever was left went for extras. It was a pretty good system, from what I remember.


:Broncos:

This is exactly what we do. I actually have two different pay checks that come in so it goes to two different accounts. The 2nd account my wife probably couldn't tell you what the balance is or what the user ID/password are... but she has the debit card in her purse and asks often which account to use.

But we operate on the same system as your parents. Works pretty well for us. Save enough for retirement (13%) and savings... Bills and food comes first and there is always enough for entertainment/extras, but it takes time to get to that point.

Hogan11
11-26-2010, 04:48 PM
I get whatever Sassy is willing to give me....which isn't as much as it used to be since I blow it all on CD's and beer Ha!

Archer81
11-26-2010, 04:49 PM
This is exactly what we do. I actually have two different pay checks that come in so it goes to two different accounts. The 2nd account my wife probably couldn't tell you what the balance is or what the user ID/password are... but she has the debit card in her purse and asks often which account to use.

But we operate on the same system as your parents. Works pretty well for us. Save enough for retirement (13%) and savings... Bills and food comes first and there is always enough for entertainment/extras, but it takes time to get to that point.


My dad is military, so a majority of the time we lived on base. So bills were car payments, phone, cable. Still worked out because the BOQ was taken out for housing and utilities. My dad left it up to my mom to pay the bills and cover expenses with what he made. It worked for a long time. I imagine my dad has the same system now with my stepmother.

Whatever works.

:Broncos:

Sassy
11-26-2010, 04:52 PM
I get whatever Sassy is willing to give me....which isn't as much as it used to be since I blow it all on CD's and beer Ha!

Not a bad deal :approve:
PS you forgot baseball games and shows. ;)

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 04:54 PM
I get whatever Sassy is willing to give me....which isn't as much as it used to be since I blow it all on CD's and beer Ha!

People still buy CDs?

Hogan11
11-26-2010, 04:56 PM
People still buy CDs?

I'm a collector, so yeah.....got to have to original item.

Ratboy
11-26-2010, 04:59 PM
I'm a collector, so yeah.....got to have to original item.

CD collector, this is a first.

Hogan11
11-26-2010, 05:01 PM
CD collector, this is a first.

Hardly. Depending upon the issue, some are more valuable than the vinyl copies...it all depends

Los Broncos
11-26-2010, 05:27 PM
We both work so we have our own money, if one of us needs money to make it through we help each other out.

OBF1
11-26-2010, 05:38 PM
I get whatever Sassy is willing to give me....which isn't as much as it used to be since I blow it all on CD's and beer Ha!

I find it hard to believe that Sassy lets you spend money on Cross Dressers

But your use of the word BLOWS saids it all ROFL!

OBF1
11-26-2010, 05:39 PM
What does everyone do when the wife wants the TV remote?

What does a man do or what does a sissy man that asks such a question do???

Wifes, girlfriends or whatever never gets clacker control, that is a mans last right of passage.

Sassy
11-26-2010, 06:27 PM
What does a man do or what does a sissy man that asks such a question do???

Wifes, girlfriends or whatever never gets clacker control, that is a mans last right of passage.

Buy another TV!

broncosteven
11-26-2010, 07:03 PM
CD collector, this is a first.

I will be the second.

I think Itunes and file sharing has killed AOR rock. No one listens to a complete album anymore. Plus I have been listening to my vinyl colletion recently.

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 07:10 PM
THIS IS URGENT: What do you do if you're hungry for a sandwich and the wife is sleeping?

PLEASE HELP!!!

Ratboy
11-26-2010, 07:11 PM
I will be the second.

I think Itunes and file sharing has killed AOR rock. No one listens to a complete album anymore. Plus I have been listening to my vinyl colletion recently.

Vinyls, sure. I just never heard of anyone collecting CD's. It's pretty much like collecting tapes.

Kid A
11-26-2010, 07:19 PM
THIS IS URGENT: What do you do if you're hungry for a sandwich and the wife is sleeping?

PLEASE HELP!!!

Jimmy John's!

OBF1
11-26-2010, 07:27 PM
THIS IS URGENT: What do you do if you're hungry for a sandwich and the wife is sleeping?

PLEASE HELP!!!

www.subway.com

Popps
11-26-2010, 07:28 PM
You all know this thread is headed for the Hall of Fame, right?

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 07:30 PM
www.subway.com

But the game is on.

This is a disaster.

gyldenlove
11-26-2010, 07:50 PM
But the game is on.

This is a disaster.

Grow a pair, if a lion or a tiger only has to eat once or twice a week, then you don't need more than that either.

Just kidding, seriously dude, order some pizza.

OBF1
11-26-2010, 07:52 PM
Be a man, throw a bucket of water on sleeping wife, ask her "Who's the boss" ? If she replys anything but Tony Danza, send her tired ass to the sub shop :)

Brewer
11-26-2010, 07:53 PM
Vinyls, sure. I just never heard of anyone collecting CD's. It's pretty much like collecting tapes.

Or having to dole out an allowance to your spouse. :approve:

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 07:57 PM
Be a man, throw a bucket of water on sleeping wife, ask her "Who's the boss" ? If she replys anything but Tony Danza, send her tired ass to the sub shop :)

Bucket of water is a good idea. I was thinking about "accidentally" setting off the fire alarm, but I like the direct action better. Women need to know their role, and I need my sandwich.

Hogan11
11-26-2010, 08:01 PM
I find it hard to believe that Sassy lets you spend money on Cross Dressers

But your use of the word BLOWS saids it all ROFL!

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Hogan11
11-26-2010, 08:02 PM
Vinyls, sure. I just never heard of anyone collecting CD's. It's pretty much like collecting tapes.

How wrong you are :notthissh

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 08:05 PM
HELP! Wife is very wet and very pissed.

And I'm still hungry.

Sassy
11-26-2010, 08:10 PM
How wrong you are :notthissh

Don't mess with The Hogan! ;)

Hogan11
11-26-2010, 08:13 PM
Don't mess with The Hogan! ;)

Nah, I can see how someone with nothing more than a passing interest in it would think that....it's just wrong is all.

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 08:23 PM
UPDATE: Wife made turkey sandwiches.

Broncochica
11-26-2010, 09:03 PM
UPDATE: Wife made turkey sandwiches.

And you lived happily ever after.....the end! :curtsey:

frerottenextelway
11-26-2010, 09:17 PM
And you lived happily ever after.....the end! :curtsey:

Wife went back to sleep and I can't find the TV remote. I'm not sure how to handle this situation.

Mr.Meanie
11-26-2010, 09:21 PM
HELP! Wife is very wet and very pissed.


I'm sure that's not the first time ;)

kappys
11-26-2010, 10:24 PM
I was just about to start a thread asking if it's normal to let my barefoot and pregnant wife out of the kitchen. Wanted to bounce the idea off you guys.

That morning paper isn't going to fetch itself.

spdirty
11-26-2010, 10:33 PM
My old lady and I both work, and I pay the mortgage, the dish bill, the qwest bill, electric and gas, and she pays daycare and whatever else her bills may be. If she asks me for money I throw a fit about how I pay all the bills and she should have more than enough money and that usually shuts her up. A joint account would suck because then she would be all over my ass whenever I'd buy a video game, go gambling, buy other man toys, etc. though I do wish she would contribute more to household expenses.


Some ideas in this thread are interesting, think I'll float some around to her, see what she says.

STBumpkin
11-26-2010, 10:50 PM
My old lady and I both work, and I pay the mortgage, the dish bill, the qwest bill, electric and gas, and she pays daycare and whatever else her bills may be. If she asks me for money I throw a fit about how I pay all the bills and she should have more than enough money and that usually shuts her up. A joint account would suck because then she would be all over my ass whenever I'd buy a video game, go gambling, buy other man toys, etc. though I do wish she would contribute more to household expenses.


Some ideas in this thread are interesting, think I'll float some around to her, see what she says.

I don't know about yours, but our childcare is about the same as our mortgage, and neither is extravagant. Childcare is not the trivial bill you are making it out to be.

Sassy
11-26-2010, 10:57 PM
I don't know about yours, but our childcare is about the same as our mortgage, and neither is extravagant. Childcare is not the trivial bill you are making it out to be.

No it's not especially if you have more than one there. (I work in childcare)
Maybe you could re-evaluate your bills and make them more 50/50? (To Spdirty)...well unless you make a lot more than she does...

spdirty
11-26-2010, 11:11 PM
I don't know about yours, but our childcare is about the same as our mortgage, and neither is extravagant. Childcare is not the trivial bill you are making it out to be.

No it isn't. We have great neighbors who help us out there. Childcare is about $50 a week, though they only watch the boys typically for about an hour a day after school.

STBumpkin
11-26-2010, 11:21 PM
No it isn't. We have great neighbors who help us out there. Childcare is about $50 a week, though they only watch the boys typically for about an hour a day after school.

You're lucky, full time childcare is $1000-$2000 a month here (DC area). You can see why I was taken aback by what appeared to be your minimization of childcare expenses.

Sassy
11-26-2010, 11:26 PM
No it isn't. We have great neighbors who help us out there. Childcare is about $50 a week, though they only watch the boys typically for about an hour a day after school.

Ok...I have no problem with your wife contributing more then if she is also working.Ha!

Miss I.
11-27-2010, 12:13 AM
THIS IS URGENT: What do you do if you're hungry for a sandwich and the wife is sleeping?

PLEASE HELP!!!

hmmm, John Bender's life wisdom ...look for the quote he does from his dad and mom...that's where it's at. ;D

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brncs_fan
11-27-2010, 09:18 AM
Is it naive of me to think that two married people can get together and work from a budget? I guess I don't get the separate accounts thing. If you don't trust your significant other with your money and vise-versa, then something is really wrong.

Sassy
11-27-2010, 09:30 AM
Is it naive of me to think that two married people can get together and work from a budget? I guess I don't get the separate accounts thing. If you don't trust your significant other with your money and vise-versa, then something is really wrong.

The separate accounts would be in addition to a household account...this way the money that goes into the "his" account and "her" account can be spent however that person likes with no arguments about what it is spent on or how much that item costs. Not to mention if something goes wrong in the marriage that person has his own credit history and money to fall back on.
With the rate of divorce these days it's a "safety" measure for both parties.

WakeUpCall
11-27-2010, 10:42 AM
How are you handling finances in your household, specifically giving money to your spouse that does not work?

Do you give them full reigns of your money and let them pay bills, or do you give them enough to pay a cell phone bill, some shopping, gas, etc.. ?

Advice, Experiences...?

Don't worry yourself with giving her an allowance, I'm sure all the others guys in the trailer park are... ROFL!

cutthemdown
11-27-2010, 10:58 AM
Don't worry yourself with giving her an allowance, I'm sure all the others guys in the trailer park are... ROFL!

bye.

Gort
11-27-2010, 04:21 PM
I was just about to start a thread asking if it's normal to let my barefoot and pregnant wife out of the kitchen. Wanted to bounce the idea off you guys.

it depends.

before or after she fixes you a sammich?

Gort
11-27-2010, 04:29 PM
People are misunderstanding this. I will try to rephrase this question.

For those with a spouse who DO NOT work, how much are you willing to let your partner spend for leisure expenses before consulting with you.

ok, serious answer.

you both spend ONLY what you can afford to spend. if you carry a balance on a credit card, you're spending too much. if you have debt beyond a mortgage/rent and car payment(s) and are not able to pay down principal on that debt, you're spending to much.

it's not hard to figure this out. keep your finances on a spreadsheet and review it (both of you together) monthly to see how much discretionary income you have. if you want to take a trip to Hawaii in a couple of years, then you best not buy all those latest and greatest Xbox games. you've got to pick an choose where you spend your discretionary dollars, unless you're rich, in which case you wouldn't be asking for financial advice from a bunch of knuckleheads on a football forum.

a good rule of thumb is WWPHD? if you want to spend discretionary funds on something but don't know if you can afford it, you've got to ask yourself 1 question: what would Peyton Hillis do?

Mr. Elway
11-27-2010, 05:27 PM
I think there's more to it than deciding how much each person gets to spend. What are you both trying to accomplish long term: a comfortable retirement, owning a home, getting rid of debt and having security for yourselves and your kids? Working towards things like that are what really let you be happy. Blowing a lot of money on shopping doesn't really make you feel good - it's just a fix. It's just "stuff."

In our house we set a simple budget, we save together, and make financial decisions carefully as a team. We take a modest, equal allowance in cash to buy whatever personal stuff we need. If one of us needs money for something we just talk about it and find how to make it work, but the funny thing is - you realize that if your pleasures are fairly simple you don't really need a lot of spending money to enjoy life. Beer is cheap :)

That One Guy
11-27-2010, 07:25 PM
So I think I read the first 3 pages of this and the last. Doesn't look like we went to Myrtle Beach. Boo.

As for the topic, seperate accounts prevents me from bitching when my wife spends $50 everytime she goes into Wal-Mart for a simple thing. I convince myself that it's her money so it doesn't matter how she spends it.

When she didn't work, yeah, what money was arbitrarily spent was a different story.

smalltowngrll
11-28-2010, 11:15 AM
We run our household finances like a business. All funds go into one account and we have a budget we stick to. We discuss and any expenses over a certain dollar amount are to be agreed upon by both of us. We agree that we don't get angry or hold it against the other person if the expense is not supported by both of us. It's a partnership.

If your wife is home with kids and caring for the household, she is working. It's not a 'wage earning job' outside of the home, but she is enabling you to work full time and not worry about the things of the household and she is caring for your child so you don't have to pay a fortune for childcare.

It's always wise to discuss financial situations before you enter into them and find what works for both of you. Don't try to 'control' her with money and she shouldn't do the same with you.

Dudeskey
11-28-2010, 11:31 AM
How are you handling finances in your household, specifically giving money to your spouse that does not work?

Do you give them full reigns of your money and let them pay bills, or do you give them enough to pay a cell phone bill, some shopping, gas, etc.. ?

Advice, Experiences...?

Mrs. Dudeskey handles everything on the financial side. I fully trust her to take care of it.