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View Full Version : Mock Talk - A Place for your Favorite Mockisms - A tribute to Brian Pelzer.


baja
11-19-2010, 11:29 AM
I see the need for a place to post your favorite Mock posts & sayings.

A tribute to the crazy genius of Brian Pelzer.

Let's let the memorial thread stand as is an use this one for sharing his uniqueness on the Orange mane.

baja
11-19-2010, 11:31 AM
I thought this might be a good way to remember Mock's unique posts all in one thread separate from thread informing of his passing. I am also hoping that the "Mock has passed away" thread might be copied and sent to his mom and some of his more brazer posts may not be understood by his mon as well as it will be by those of us that shared this special place with him.

OABB
11-19-2010, 11:34 AM
Buy a vowel obviously for me.

baja
11-19-2010, 11:36 AM
Taco John,

Is there any way we can have access to the older posts of Mock. The pre accident ones?

Are they on anybody's hard drive?

Hogan11
11-19-2010, 11:41 AM
"You think you're ready to play ball with me, dimwit? Let's go. I'll kick it into your face!"


I became a fan right after I read that one.

baja
11-19-2010, 11:44 AM
Originally Posted by xxxxx
We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake.
Come up with that all by yourself?

Ever hear of "I have to sleep on it?"

I you ask your mind to work on a problem, the superconciousness will solve it.

Whether the EGO will act on the solution in waking hours is problematic. - Mock

baja
11-19-2010, 11:46 AM
Mock - 69?

I was so pissed I beat up my best friend showing him how to tackle at halftime..

baja
11-19-2010, 11:48 AM
ow amusing.

My family went thru Ellis Island and learned English via German.

Noone said we had to learn Mexican.

So you immigrated? So be it.

Your an arrogant liar..

baja
11-19-2010, 11:50 AM
God allmighty, he was told he was an idiot.

He said that for the team as a border player.

BTW, do you think Larson has any place in this team?

God, buy a clue..

baja
11-19-2010, 11:54 AM
I know you guys can find much better ones them mine.

baja
11-19-2010, 11:55 AM
Honestly, It's amazing to me how stupid people are.

I raised discourse, but now it's some circle jerk both signicant forums.

I'm with God, or I wouldn't be alive.

And I will die with God.

I know more than many presume.

Much more. In fact, It's odd..

missingnumber7
11-19-2010, 11:55 AM
Tomcat's are a pain.

Gotta cut and clip em.

Funny story, I took Scooter and Beelzlebug to the same vet.

He was a medic on Normandy.

He said it was like treating animals there.

He woldn't say more.

This is very common with vets that have killed.
This made me go huh...but it fits with mock

baja
11-19-2010, 11:59 AM
#1, we went south after we had nothing but crap at RB.

Tatum Bell andCooked Crack?

STFU.

Let's get better be letting 3 coaches leave, hiring your brother and trading for a backup QB.

What?.

Rausch 2.0
11-19-2010, 12:01 PM
I haven't been on much. Did the Mock pass?

If so, condolences to all.

baja
11-19-2010, 12:03 PM
My family has grown more than 6 million bushles of food.

Needle dick..

baja
11-19-2010, 12:04 PM
I haven't been on much. Did the Mock pass?

If so, condolences to all.

http://www.orangemane.com/BB/showthread.php?t=95136

Taco John
11-19-2010, 12:04 PM
Taco John,

Is there any way we can have access to the older posts of Mock. The pre accident ones?

Are they on anybody's hard drive?


I'll see what I can dig up. I'm not sure how easy that will be to do. We lost a lot of posts in one of the server moves. I should have them somewhere on my machine. I'll dig around.

Pendejo
11-19-2010, 12:06 PM
"You know why they call me watermock? I'm a sinner."

From a random PM years ago.

baja
11-19-2010, 12:07 PM
I'll see what I can dig up. I'm not sure how easy that will be to do. We lost a lot of posts in one of the server moves. I should have them somewhere on my machine. I'll dig around.

Thank You Taco.

baja
11-19-2010, 12:08 PM
wow.

He's just scared.

Anger is just fear..

baja
11-19-2010, 12:10 PM
I can't afford or take care of a kitten, however my mom had one named coco that was killed 3 days ago by a tom.

Thanks for askiing dickface..

Rohirrim
11-19-2010, 12:13 PM
Mock's Kitten came off the roof and is tucked into the comforter. He's an African Wildcat without balls or front claws. I still don't know how he is getting on the roof, but I don't even care.

I'm out talking to a neighbor and he says, "Hey your cat is on the roof". I'm not risking my neck, I have a herd of kittens out on the the farm. DNA is rampant on the farm. Scooter, (Beezlebub) is so funny. He was just a runt with his eyes glued shut among two dozen other kittens. I took him in. I cleaned him up and made him civilized, somewhat. Now he's a house leaper.

As far as this swift boat controversy goes, I could really care less. I told you people it was going to be huge last month.

Watching Kerry act like a fool isn't that hard.

If he would of just copied the Clinton diatribe he would of walked in. I still expept him to win, but now things are turning in Iraq and the convention is starting.

Hey what a great time to visit New York. They are allready cracking skulls for good times.

Los Broncos
11-19-2010, 12:20 PM
Mock's Kitten came off the roof and is tucked into the comforter. He's an African Wildcat without balls or front claws. I still don't know how he is getting on the roof, but I don't even care.

I'm out talking to a neighbor and he says, "Hey your cat is on the roof". I'm not risking my neck, I have a herd of kittens out on the the farm. DNA is rampant on the farm. Scooter, (Beezlebub) is so funny. He was just a runt with his eyes glued shut among two dozen other kittens. I took him in. I cleaned him up and made him civilized, somewhat. Now he's a house leaper.

As far as this swift boat controversy goes, I could really care less. I told you people it was going to be huge last month.

Watching Kerry act like a fool isn't that hard.

If he would of just copied the Clinton diatribe he would of walked in. I still expept him to win, but now things are turning in Iraq and the convention is starting.

Hey what a great time to visit New York. They are allready cracking skulls for good times.

:spit::spit::spit: awesome

Houshyamama
11-19-2010, 12:21 PM
Reading Mock's posts was always an interesting experience for me. Mixed in with the sometimes obvious lunacy was an incredible intelligence. It was this juxtaposition that made reading his posts interesting for me. And I mean that honestly, they really are interesting to read. Some poster commented in the other thread that they would scan for his posts, making sure to read them. While I skip over quite a few posts here, I NEVER skipped over Mock's.

Rohirrim
11-19-2010, 12:22 PM
Here's what Mock said when the report came out that Cheney had shot his hunting pal Harry Whittington in the face:

Harry had WMD hidden in his barn and altho none were found, he had to be taken out before he could hide them.

Zoobie
11-19-2010, 12:26 PM
Here's what Mock said when the report came out that Cheney had shot his hunting pal Harry Whittington in the face:

Harry had WMD hidden in his barn and altho none were found, he had to be taken out before he could hide them.

You can't teach this kind of wit.:notworthy

Los Broncos
11-19-2010, 12:26 PM
Here's what Mock said when the report came out that Cheney had shot his hunting pal Harry Whittington in the face:

Harry had WMD hidden in his barn and altho none were found, he had to be taken out before he could hide them.

:spit:

Rohirrim
11-19-2010, 12:43 PM
I am not human, I am a Celeron microchip. Beezer is the Human.

baja
11-19-2010, 01:00 PM
Here's what Mock said when the report came out that Cheney had shot his hunting pal Harry Whittington in the face:

Harry had WMD hidden in his barn and altho none were found, he had to be taken out before he could hide them.

I glad you are pitching in you are finding some pure gold.

Crushaholic
11-19-2010, 01:10 PM
While it's not one of his classic Mockisms, here's Mock joking about his own death.

Forget me...I'm more worried about people seeing what's in my puter! I have a nightmare that at my funeral they start playing my files and people alternately laughing or spitting at my cold stiff body.

My will says that I shall be cremated along with my computer.

RaiderH8r
11-19-2010, 01:13 PM
Beezer. Just Beezer.

Those were epic rants. I used to have a bunch of reps back and forth with him on some of those but I think I lost them in the switch.

Chris
11-19-2010, 01:14 PM
Buy a clue... man!

RaiderH8r
11-19-2010, 01:28 PM
Iowa farms bitches. Iowa. Farms.

Dr. Broncenstein
11-19-2010, 01:40 PM
I'm quitting these BP meds.

I'd rather die with an erection.

SouthStndJunkie
11-19-2010, 02:02 PM
While it's not one of his classic Mockisms, here's Mock joking about his own death.

Forget me...I'm more worried about people seeing what's in my puter! I have a nightmare that at my funeral they start playing my files and people alternately laughing or spitting at my cold stiff body.

My will says that I shall be cremated along with my computer.

That is awesome....with some probable truth mixed in.

Hogan11
11-19-2010, 02:51 PM
Its about god damn time.

The guy's head in a freezer.

I am always amused how dimwits like LABF don't understand the world paradigm.

yeah, the guys head is in a freezer, but they at least found it.

Little comfort, but it's better than nothing.

There is progress being mades step by step. Damn it's hard tho. It's like going thru pig stool.


Ha! There's plenty more where that came from....all you have to do is go to the WPR and go all the way back to the beginning.

Mogulseeker
11-19-2010, 02:55 PM
Reading Mock's posts was always an interesting experience for me. Mixed in with the sometimes obvious lunacy was an incredible intelligence. It was this juxtaposition that made reading his posts interesting for me. And I mean that honestly, they really are interesting to read. Some poster commented in the other thread that they would scan for his posts, making sure to read them. While I skip over quite a few posts here, I NEVER skipped over Mock's.

This.

Mogulseeker
11-19-2010, 03:01 PM
I'm quitting these BP meds.

I'd rather die with an erection.

Lisinopril = birth control.

broncocalijohn
11-19-2010, 03:40 PM
I would love to see Rock Chalk's response about Mock telling his pasture if he ****s his cat after Mock tried to make a nice gesture for Christmas in one of his threads. So mean yet so funny.

Los Broncos
11-19-2010, 03:41 PM
I like the one where he said "**** you" "**** you all" after he got sick and came back, everyone was picking on him.

Mean, but funny.

orinjkrush
11-19-2010, 04:26 PM
rediculous

theAPAOps5
11-19-2010, 04:29 PM
Here is Mock's response to Alec and the infamous cat sex comment. That thread is in the archives by the way:

Here is a classic post that runs the gambit in topics!

Thank you...

Look you dumbass, you probably don't even know who Dean Wormers wife was or how she was a whore.

Your your just a juvinile moron thinking your making cute internet insults.

I protect my cat, why did this go there? I don't **** the cat. He's in a cookie and perfectly safe. So ****ing what?

Wow...I should have the cat outside in december mousing or whatever? You people are a bunch of idiots. BTW, the cat sleeps in different spots all the time.

He's slept on on a rug in front of the toilet, a fridge, a shoebox, a corner for no apparent reason, a dawer, and of course...my quilt.

orange crusher
11-19-2010, 05:31 PM
Are you dish'n me?

mosca
11-19-2010, 07:26 PM
your an idiot / your a moron

baja
11-19-2010, 07:28 PM
'your a idiot'

Popps
11-19-2010, 07:39 PM
Here is Mock's response to Alec and the infamous cat sex comment. That thread is in the archives by the way:

Here is a classic post that runs the gambit in topics!

Wow. Just wow.

Most of my favorites are gone, but Mock's farming stage was one of my favorites. He decided he was a farmer out of nowhere, and talked about it non-stop for a bit.

baja
11-19-2010, 07:48 PM
Wow. Just wow.

Most of my favorites are gone, but Mock's farming stage was one of my favorites. He decided he was a farmer out of nowhere, and talked about it non-stop for a bit.

It's really those older ones that are the treasure.

TJ promised he'd try to find some of them. Many got lost during one of the server switches.

Los Broncos
11-19-2010, 08:40 PM
Wow. Just wow.

Most of my favorites are gone, but Mock's farming stage was one of my favorites. He decided he was a farmer out of nowhere, and talked about it non-stop for a bit.

I remember some of that, just awesome stuff.

mosca
11-19-2010, 08:56 PM
We were all lucky and blessed to have witnessed Mock on this board. The man is irreplaceable and was truly one of a kind.

BroncoMatt
11-19-2010, 09:02 PM
Mock before the peanut butter was incredible

theAPAOps5
11-19-2010, 09:03 PM
Mock before the peanut butter was incredible

Yes he was! He was really what kept me coming back. I came here when I found the camp reports but I stayed to read the Mock!

mosca
11-19-2010, 09:03 PM
Just LOLed at this one - Mock replying to LABF in an old thread that degenerated into pages of insults: "Your a bonafied idiot. I reduce you to a slobbering pile of pig stool."

theAPAOps5
11-19-2010, 09:09 PM
In a very long winded attack on Slap he dropped this at the end, just made me laugh out loud and wake the wife up!

Sit down and shut up GirlyBoy.

Rock Chalk
11-19-2010, 09:50 PM
I would love to see Rock Chalk's response about Mock telling his pasture if he ****s his cat after Mock tried to make a nice gesture for Christmas in one of his threads. So mean yet so funny.

Yeah, you know In hindsight Im hoping that one got lost in the server moves.

Rock Chalk
11-19-2010, 10:00 PM
Personally, I think it's more a factor of trying to escape the corn fields.

At any rate, she's starting to raise some eyebrows and has never been trained.

You should see this kid handle the rock! She's like Nash in a mini-skirt. I will try to scan a photo but it doesn't do her justice. She is this Blonde Beast that kicks ass on the pine.

No big deal, but it would be nice if she can get a free ride at Iowa. That would be 3 now, only two to go. One Dentist, one Doctor, one Track Star.

BTW, Beezlebub is out of ICU and seems ready to take on the world, but Mock is holding him out for at least two weeks. Beezlebub went into intensive care for about 48 hours and I almost called the old man.

I honestly don't know what Beezlebub ran into, but I don't want a part of it. I think he must of found the Rotty down the street.

Stupid cat is still crying with tears. I will let him out when he stops crying.

He's worse than a woman for Christ Sake.

I am pretty sure that Rotty got ahold of him.

Make no mistake, Mock's kitten took a beating. He is seriously wounded, I have not told anyone this.

He wants to lay issues straight, but Mock is holding him for another 3 weeks. He's that hurt.

He must of been shaken by that Rottie down the block. So mock is holding Beezer back for a few weeks.

I'm not sure why I'm telling anyone this, but my cat came back on death's door.

He is doing better was almost taken to the Old Man.

I am almost positive he got into a fight with that Rottie down the street.

Or a Cat Cry for three damn days.

Just in case anyone is interested, when a Human confronts a Rottie they are in trouble. I hate those things, and know how to kill them by pushing my wrist down their drooling throat and pulling out their thorax. I will stuff my fist down any idiot dog that even comes close to me. He can bite my arm, but I'm going to pull his Throax out first.

So when morons tell me about their Dogs, I just laugh.

You might scare a child or woman, but mock will reach down and pull it's heart out. I don't consider Dogs as more than Penis Extentions.

Two days of intensive rehab have brought Beezer back to a fighting spirit.
This is, in effect, Mock in a nutshell.

Rock Chalk
11-19-2010, 10:01 PM
And this, this is the normal human, loving family side of Mock
Lisa is quite the little tigeress. She won the 400 hurdles by a full 4 seconds as a Freshman. She is also the starting Point Guard for the Varsity as a Freshman. She's built like a mankiller as well.

Michelle is still running cross country, but Lisa appears to be headed to an athletic scholarship at Iowa.

I figure we take a flyer on her late in round 3 at cornerback.

I don't mean to brag on her, (I'm lying), but she's starting to get press in Des Moines as some sort of Phenom. She's not running elite times, but she's close and only 14.

Rock Chalk
11-19-2010, 10:05 PM
Bwahahaha

One of mocks self-replies to a post about him falling off a ladder:
I've been using Beezer as a heatingpad/vibrator.

I'm fine, it's just taking too long for my taste.
*Backs slowly out of the thread*
I'm not sticking the cat up my ass you dimwit. He's toasty warm and purrs next to me.

He's the meanest cat I have ever owned tho. Domesticated would be a serious reach.

Popps
11-19-2010, 10:13 PM
Lol

Rock Chalk
11-19-2010, 10:17 PM
Mocks' 50K Thread:

http://www.orangemane.com/BB/showthread.php?t=37401

enjolras
11-20-2010, 01:30 AM
I do remember the first time Mock threatened to kill me....



He really was a great poster, but god could he be mean sometimes.

Rohirrim
11-20-2010, 06:55 AM
The odd thing about Mock's meanness was that he could switch it off so fast. One post he was saying I was such an idiot I couldn't smell my own hole and three posts later he's telling me about how his tractor is a piece of ****, like we're just having a normal conversation. He would shift gears so fast I'm like, WTF? I think the only poster Mock ever really had it in for was Slap. Of course, Slap never stopped baiting him.

Hogan11
11-20-2010, 07:15 AM
The odd thing about Mock's meanness was that he could switch it off so fast. One post he was saying I was such an idiot I couldn't smell my own hole and three posts later he's telling me about how his tractor is a piece of ****, like we're just having a normal conversation. He would shift gears so fast I'm like, WTF? I think the only poster Mock ever really had it in for was Slap. Of course, Slap never stopped baiting him.

I was actually hoping to see Slap & Tredici return to give condolances to their one time arch advisary.....so far, no sign of them.

baja
11-20-2010, 08:27 AM
I was actually hoping to see Slap & Tredici return to give condolances to their one time arch advisary.....so far, no sign of them.

I doubt they know about it. Tredici would for sure if she knew.

SouthStndJunkie
11-20-2010, 08:39 AM
I see Slap leaves comments now and then on stories at Pro Football Talk.

Rock Chalk
11-20-2010, 08:43 AM
I emailed Tredici. Not sure if she'll show up or not but I let her know.

Chris
11-20-2010, 09:22 AM
My best mock experiences were as a lurker. I lurked the board from roughly 03-05 until registration was forced. Man was a force. By the time i got my first "stfu if you got nothing to say" I was honoured.