WABronco
10-14-2010, 04:46 PM
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/joshmcdaniels1.jpg
Josh McDaniels: Okay, guys! We’ve got the Jets this week, and I have a gameplan that can’t possibly fail. All I need is the exact right blend of gritty, no-name players to pull it off, which is why I’m going to have to cut twenty-six of you today. There are some 5’9” guys coming in who used to load bags over at DIA, and I really like their hustle. REAL TEAM GUYS. The kind of guys I can count on to execute the vision I have inside my very small head.
(door flies open)
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/kyle_orton_drunk31.jpg
Kyle Orton: (burp) Heyyyyyyy Coach McDanyulzzzz, freakin’ LLOYD man! LLOYD ALL THE WAY! I dunno if we’re winnin’ games er not, but I am gettin’ LAID! ROCKY MOUNTAIN THIGH, COACH!
Josh McDaniels: Someone put Orton back in the drunk tank until gametime, dammit!
(Orton placed back in drunk tank)
Josh McDaniels: No one is to open that drunk tank without my expressed written consent. OR I WILL CUT YOU. Now, for the Jets. I understand this Rex Ryan fellow likes to blitz.
Champ Bailey: Yes, sir.
Josh McDaniels: I’m sorry. I can’t hear players who ask for more money than I have slotted for their position. Now, I have the perfect plan to make sure those blitzes don’t hurt us. One: LEG WHIPS. EACH ONE WHIPPIER THAN THE LAST. Two: Concealed wooden stakes.
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Wooden-Stake-600x288.jpg
They come running in too fast? BOOM! Instant FIRST BLOOD.
Champ Bailey: Isn’t that wildly illegal? Even jailable?
Josh McDaniels: Since when have the Broncos stopped doing something because it was illegal? ALEX GIBBS WOULD SPIT ON YOU IF HE WERE STILL ALIVE, WHICH I DEEM HIM TO NOT BE. This is why I can’t have players like you on my team, Bailey. You won’t do what it takes to win. You lack Welkeritude.
(FedEx package arrives)
Josh McDaniels: Hmm. That’s odd. I don’t remember ordering anything on Amazon, except for that Sun Tsu audiobook I planned on listening to during my two hours of sleep every Tuesday night.
(opens up package)
(package contains several pictures of a men’s penises)
Josh McDaniels: OH FOR CRYING IN THE BEER! WHO’S SENDING ME PENIS SHOTS, DAMMIT?
Read the rest at:
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2010/10/crazy-josh-mcdaniels-gets-an-unwelcome-oklahoma-telegram.html#more-30576
8')
Josh McDaniels: Okay, guys! We’ve got the Jets this week, and I have a gameplan that can’t possibly fail. All I need is the exact right blend of gritty, no-name players to pull it off, which is why I’m going to have to cut twenty-six of you today. There are some 5’9” guys coming in who used to load bags over at DIA, and I really like their hustle. REAL TEAM GUYS. The kind of guys I can count on to execute the vision I have inside my very small head.
(door flies open)
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/kyle_orton_drunk31.jpg
Kyle Orton: (burp) Heyyyyyyy Coach McDanyulzzzz, freakin’ LLOYD man! LLOYD ALL THE WAY! I dunno if we’re winnin’ games er not, but I am gettin’ LAID! ROCKY MOUNTAIN THIGH, COACH!
Josh McDaniels: Someone put Orton back in the drunk tank until gametime, dammit!
(Orton placed back in drunk tank)
Josh McDaniels: No one is to open that drunk tank without my expressed written consent. OR I WILL CUT YOU. Now, for the Jets. I understand this Rex Ryan fellow likes to blitz.
Champ Bailey: Yes, sir.
Josh McDaniels: I’m sorry. I can’t hear players who ask for more money than I have slotted for their position. Now, I have the perfect plan to make sure those blitzes don’t hurt us. One: LEG WHIPS. EACH ONE WHIPPIER THAN THE LAST. Two: Concealed wooden stakes.
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Wooden-Stake-600x288.jpg
They come running in too fast? BOOM! Instant FIRST BLOOD.
Champ Bailey: Isn’t that wildly illegal? Even jailable?
Josh McDaniels: Since when have the Broncos stopped doing something because it was illegal? ALEX GIBBS WOULD SPIT ON YOU IF HE WERE STILL ALIVE, WHICH I DEEM HIM TO NOT BE. This is why I can’t have players like you on my team, Bailey. You won’t do what it takes to win. You lack Welkeritude.
(FedEx package arrives)
Josh McDaniels: Hmm. That’s odd. I don’t remember ordering anything on Amazon, except for that Sun Tsu audiobook I planned on listening to during my two hours of sleep every Tuesday night.
(opens up package)
(package contains several pictures of a men’s penises)
Josh McDaniels: OH FOR CRYING IN THE BEER! WHO’S SENDING ME PENIS SHOTS, DAMMIT?
Read the rest at:
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2010/10/crazy-josh-mcdaniels-gets-an-unwelcome-oklahoma-telegram.html#more-30576
8')