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View Full Version : OT-Need some serious advice


Boss Man
09-19-2010, 03:19 PM
Kind of in a bad way right now...no way around it dont know what to do.
I am 21 and i have a
Suspended Drivers Liscense
Im on probation
Still owe the court money and for probation
No family
No money
No Job, just found one, but its a little late for that at this point.
I sleep on the floor of a friends appartment(this wont last for much longer)

Basically i have nothing, and no one, and i dont know what to do at this point...any advice would be appreciated.

I know this is OT but i really need some advice, thanks.

Goobzilla
09-19-2010, 03:23 PM
Complete your probation and join the service. Hell, they might even call it complete if you enlist.

Lev Vyvanse
09-19-2010, 03:25 PM
You've come to the right place.

Boss Man
09-19-2010, 03:26 PM
Complete your probation and join the service. Hell, they might even call it complete if you enlist.

thats the bitch of it...i was enlisted in the airforce and in the delayed entry program, when i was arrested, and kicked out...

theAPAOps5
09-19-2010, 03:27 PM
Try the Marines

Lev Vyvanse
09-19-2010, 05:23 PM
Have you thought about moving to South Carolina?

Cool Breeze
09-20-2010, 05:03 AM
Make a decision to create a change in your life
You didn't just find yourself here - these were your choices that brought you here.

If you don't do this and and accept responsibility for this you're screwed.

What to do...
Unless you're ready for the street you'd best be supercleaning that apartment daily.
Ask your roomy what can you do to make their life easier. They are doing so for you.
Be the 1st person up and out of there every day - if you're hardly there you're less burden.
Practice good hygiene, get a haircut, shave, wear clean/pressed clothes - how you look reflects how you feel about yourself - fake it til you make it if need be.
Get a bike - you live in Florida for God's sake...
Start working that job and be the best employee they've ever seen. Be 15 min early every day.
Job hunt till you get another FT job and save every penny. You may say " I have no life" Guess what - this is your life!
A 2nd job at a restaraunt means you'll eat. No job is beneath you - wash dishes...
Look for a roomate situation in paper/ craigslist. Discuss with current roomy - they want light at the end of the tunnel.
Join a church - they help their congregation with food, etc... Give back to the church - mow, sweep,whatever...
Kiss the P.O.s ass, do what he says, lay off the drugs/ booze. Make this a priority or he'll pull out the rug. Don't bull**** them - they see it all day!!!!
Surround yourself with like minded friends - aim higher than yourself -overachievers beat out people with potential but no drive...
Lose the entitlement - work every day to better yourself in some way - every day you don't you accept where/ what you are.
Help others, be a friend, give back to the community - you get what you give.
You're 21 dude - pull up the big boy pants and go to work!!!!

Jason in LA
09-20-2010, 07:30 AM
Boss Man, your situation doesn't sounds as horrible as a lot of people's situations. If those are your only problems, you can get out of that hole quick and be back on your feet. Imagine if you had all those problems and you had a kid on top of that. As of right now it's just you, so you can get by with what ever.

For the time being, like it was stated above, work the hell out of your job. Save money, maybe get a second job, and find a roommate. If you really want to save money, split a single with somebody. I had a co worker a while back who worked during the day and went to school at night. He said it was like living in the dorms. And his rent was really cheap.

While you're getting out of your whole, think about what you're going to do for the rest of your life. What do you want to do? If you need to go to school, financial aid will help. If you really don't want to go to school, you at least need a skill, so a trade school might work. There are so many trades out there that can produce you money. Some manual labor, so more creative, like photography, graphic design, and stuff like that. What ever you decide, make sure it's something that you can make money doing.

You say you have nothing. That's BS. Dude, you're 21! And all you have to do is worry about yourself. You know how awesome that is? Hell man, you've got it made. Just work. You can get by on next to nothing for now. You just need some ambition.

worm
09-20-2010, 10:16 PM
Take a deep breath. All of this is a temporary problem. Work hard. Focus on Cool Breeze's list.

Don't consider Kenny's path as an option. Nothing is insurmountable.

underrated29
09-20-2010, 11:00 PM
I hear a job as a rough neck in the oil industry in wyoming pays really really well. The work sucks all testes, but then again, you do not have a lot of terrific options knocking at the door.

Just dont meet a waitress with a kid and move in with her.

Meck77
09-20-2010, 11:07 PM
I overheard an old rancher say this to one of his family members earlier this summer who was complaining.

He said "Put your boots on and get to work...The west wasn't won by a bunch of pussies!" -This was directed at his youngest daughter who was about 16 years old.

My advice. It use to be said that one must work harder to get ahead. I'd say work harder but make sure you work smarter as well. Good luck.

Boomhauer
09-21-2010, 02:00 AM
1) Quit wasting your time here and pawn whatever device your using.
2) Use that time and cash to get your tihs together.

Jason in LA
09-21-2010, 07:38 AM
Boss Man, I'm curious, how much in the hole are you really? How much do you owe the court, what's the time frame to pay them, how much do you have to pay to get your DL back (do you just have to pay a fine to get it back), and how much is your job paying you?

Cool Breeze
09-25-2010, 08:00 PM
The computer is pawned...

theAPAOps5
09-25-2010, 09:10 PM
You know I would like to know if Bossman is ok. Maybe I am just paranoid but with his post and state the fact he hasn't returned is odd.

worm
09-26-2010, 10:56 AM
Been thinking about this as well Apa.

Bossman...give us a shout out. Where in FLA are you? I will be in Orlando next week and Tampa on Oct 17th. Drop me a PM and I will buy you dinner.

Boss Man
10-15-2010, 10:30 AM
sorry it took so long to update...been kinda movin around.

to answer some questions, still owe the court/probation about 1500...as far as i know i cant get my liscense back until February, no matter what.

talking to my mom, to see if we can work things out to where i can go live with her.

working a little bit, not much but its better than nothing, trying to save up for a bike, so i can get around better.

looking for more work on a daily basis, no luck as of yet

other than that really not much has changed...im trying to apply a lot of the advice in this thread, but i guess it just takes time.

i do really appreciate the advice thoug.

Boss Man
01-05-2011, 12:57 PM
update for anyone interested.

situation got worse...i had no where to live, and hadnt slept in a bed for a solid 7 months, so i had to do SOMETHING. My friend in las vegas said if i moved there he could get me a job at a bank, he had an extra room to live in and an extra motorcycle i could ride.

everything he told me fell through, and i now live with strangers off of craigslist, desperatley searching for a job, although tough to do because i have no car i walk around and take busses from sun up to sun down, and in spite of it all i wake up in the middle of the night last night with the flu, throwing up everywhere

not to mention he was the only person i know that lives here, and ive never even been to las vegas...

underrated29
01-05-2011, 01:35 PM
dude, seriously, what did you do to get busted...I mean you really might have to just op for army marines, unless whatever happened will keep you from that.


But you got to figure out what you want in life..obviously short term, a job, a place to sleep, a bed...But further than that...go back to school, work somewhere with something. Flying- seems like you like that.

I know that airlines are always looking for baggage handlers, try hotels. Something to get some consistent mula.

Boss Man
01-05-2011, 02:03 PM
dude, seriously, what did you do to get busted...I mean you really might have to just op for army marines, unless whatever happened will keep you from that.


But you got to figure out what you want in life..obviously short term, a job, a place to sleep, a bed...But further than that...go back to school, work somewhere with something. Flying- seems like you like that.

I know that airlines are always looking for baggage handlers, try hotels. Something to get some consistent mula.

idk i apply at jobs all day everyday...and cant find anything so far. i would like to go back to school but that seems pretty farfetched at this point, i was in the air force delayed entry program at the time of my arrest(i was arrested for dui, because im an idiot). im praying that they will let me in once im off probation

oubronco
01-06-2011, 07:23 AM
When I was in my early 20's i got 3 DUI's and it didn't hamper me getting a job one little bit. Go get a construction job they will hire you as a laborer it's as easy as walking up and saying you want to work

Grumps
01-06-2011, 08:46 AM
idk i apply at jobs all day everyday...and cant find anything so far. i would like to go back to school but that seems pretty farfetched at this point, i was in the air force delayed entry program at the time of my arrest(i was arrested for dui, because im an idiot). im praying that they will let me in once im off probation

Go talk to an Army recruiter.

Los Broncos
01-13-2011, 10:19 AM
Sucks to hear this, hope everything works out.

The MVPlaya
01-20-2011, 07:27 AM
Hopefully you've got somewhere by now, if not, I hope the following advice helps:

First thing first - you're 21 or maybe 22 by now so you're still young - you've got energy. Be thankful everyday you wake up.

I honestly don't think I or anyone here can give you specific detailed advice that will automatically change you and then off you go in the right direction, understand that. Maybe if they were in a similar space before, but it's unlikely.

It starts with you, and it'll end with you. There is somewhere in this nation, or maybe world, where you can get started. But I'm telling you, it starts with you, deep inside. Something isn't right, honest truth. You've got to understand that.

From the time you made that post till now, it sounds like you've made some money... what happened? Did you have a job? If you did, what happened?

If you're on probation, ask your officer for any advice? Look around you. Army recruiting is always looking, etc... there HAS to be something you can do for someone else.

The thing is this, you've been in this hell hole for 7+ months and not one opportunity has came up? And you're looking every single day? Something isn't right.

You need to also start thinking positive. As positive as can be. Don't be going up to people with a ****ty attitude. Nobody is going to want to hear you. They might feel bad, and help you a little bit but that probably won't get you no where far. You've got to have strong positive energy for people to be interested. Focus on helping other people, not the other way around. Think of things you can do for other people, not other things people can do for you.

Go to the book store and try and read some self help books, Anthony Robbins, or whatever they have. Search online for "Matt Furey" and "Steve Pavlina." Force yourself to read some of it. There have been people that have been to much darker places than you and risen from it, they have the words you need to hear. What you need are blueprints to get out of your hole... so you can see what's possible and what the necessary steps are.

That's all for now... it's a ****ty economy, I know that. However, you've got to work on yourself first... somethings got to change deep inside before you get anywhere that's worth it.

Lev Vyvanse
01-20-2011, 07:06 PM
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=130400613

theAPAOps5
01-20-2011, 09:33 PM
Put as much energy into job searches as he does asking for help on forums and he would have a job by now!

Lev Vyvanse
01-20-2011, 10:16 PM
Put as much energy into job searches as he does asking for help on forums and he would have a job by now!

He was offered a job on the thread I posted. He didn't show up. Here is my advice, quit being a **** up.

Boss Man
01-25-2011, 12:09 AM
Hopefully you've got somewhere by now, if not, I hope the following advice helps:

First thing first - you're 21 or maybe 22 by now so you're still young - you've got energy. Be thankful everyday you wake up.

I honestly don't think I or anyone here can give you specific detailed advice that will automatically change you and then off you go in the right direction, understand that. Maybe if they were in a similar space before, but it's unlikely.

It starts with you, and it'll end with you. There is somewhere in this nation, or maybe world, where you can get started. But I'm telling you, it starts with you, deep inside. Something isn't right, honest truth. You've got to understand that.

From the time you made that post till now, it sounds like you've made some money... what happened? Did you have a job? If you did, what happened?

If you're on probation, ask your officer for any advice? Look around you. Army recruiting is always looking, etc... there HAS to be something you can do for someone else.

The thing is this, you've been in this hell hole for 7+ months and not one opportunity has came up? And you're looking every single day? Something isn't right.

You need to also start thinking positive. As positive as can be. Don't be going up to people with a ****ty attitude. Nobody is going to want to hear you. They might feel bad, and help you a little bit but that probably won't get you no where far. You've got to have strong positive energy for people to be interested. Focus on helping other people, not the other way around. Think of things you can do for other people, not other things people can do for you.

Go to the book store and try and read some self help books, Anthony Robbins, or whatever they have. Search online for "Matt Furey" and "Steve Pavlina." Force yourself to read some of it. There have been people that have been to much darker places than you and risen from it, they have the words you need to hear. What you need are blueprints to get out of your hole... so you can see what's possible and what the necessary steps are.

That's all for now... it's a ****ty economy, I know that. However, you've got to work on yourself first... somethings got to change deep inside before you get anywhere that's worth it.

great advice...i just continue to make bad descisions and pay for it...i have bad friends, who also get in trouble, all my close friends are currently in jail, except for 1 who is also on probation. im thinking of washing my hands with them all. i also dont really have any family

but you are right, during this time i became an even bigger piece of **** than i was, and was absorbed in self pitty..i do need to work on it.

i am moving back to florida now, where ill be sleeping on my friends couch, and hopefully getting an old job back, also someone on the internet is giving me a job as a salesman, so i will be working 2 jobs here soon..if all gos as planned. and will work as hard as i can until i can join the navy/air force again.

Boss Man
01-25-2011, 12:10 AM
He was offered a job on the thread I posted. He didn't show up. Here is my advice, quit being a **** up.

lol small world...i actuall had a job interview and no internet access the day that it was lined up. me and him have worked it out and he is giving me a second chance thank god.

Requiem
01-25-2011, 05:34 PM
Well Boss Man, I hope all works out well for you. I know how hard it is to be in the job hunt and living pretty minimally. I just got my first full-time position after graduating in May after a long, long hunt. Thank God.

broncocalijohn
01-28-2011, 02:26 AM
Bossman, good luck and the first step is to realize you are a ****ed up loser. 2nd step is to know you dont like being that way and stop doing things that get you in trouble ie. smoking weed. 3rd is to do positive things to keep your mind off of being a loser. 4th, change directions and go only up. That would be better living conditions, job, amend with family, etc. Hope it works out.

BroncoBuff
01-28-2011, 05:48 PM
Pretty bleak picture you paint. Sounds like you have the worst of it wrapped up pretty well for now, but here's a couple ideas anyway. In most cities there are networks of recovery-based services, including very low-cost 'Sober Living' houses ... two or more to a room, but it's very cheap. Doesn't matter if you don't have a substance problem, just that you're committed to making your life work. They're listed in AA booklets (and those booklets are everywhere believe me, even if you've never seem one). Find one that's close to some retail and business, and move in. The next day find a bar of soap, a razor, comb and a clean set oif clothes, and go find a job, any job. Restauramt, retail, whatever.

And do NOT even THINK about driving on a suspended license, PERIOD. In most every state it's not at traffic violation, it's a crime. Thanks to MADD mostly, it's a misdemeanor. Which means get caught once and you violate yourself to lockup in the blink of an eye, probably be taken into custody right there at roadside, maybe for months or longer depending on the terms of your probation.

Boss Man
01-29-2011, 01:56 PM
Bossman, good luck and the first step is to realize you are a ****ed up loser. 2nd step is to know you dont like being that way and stop doing things that get you in trouble ie. smoking weed. 3rd is to do positive things to keep your mind off of being a loser. 4th, change directions and go only up. That would be better living conditions, job, amend with family, etc. Hope it works out.

this is all very true. i am trying to join the military again, if they will take me. i am in the process of getting 2 jobs (very good possibility) and i get my liscense back in 2 weeks (and am supposed to get off probation). i am still 100% misserable, an depressed. but eventually i will get out of this rut.

Pretty bleak picture you paint. Sounds like you have the worst of it wrapped up pretty well for now, but here's a couple ideas anyway. In most cities there are networks of recovery-based services, including very low-cost 'Sober Living' houses ... two or more to a room, but it's very cheap. Doesn't matter if you don't have a substance problem, just that you're committed to making your life work. They're listed in AA booklets (and those booklets are everywhere believe me, even if you've never seem one). Find one that's close to some retail and business, and move in. The next day find a bar of soap, a razor, comb and a clean set oif clothes, and go find a job, any job. Restauramt, retail, whatever.

And do NOT even THINK about driving on a suspended license, PERIOD. In most every state it's not at traffic violation, it's a crime. Thanks to MADD mostly, it's a misdemeanor. Which means get caught once and you violate yourself to lockup in the blink of an eye, probably be taken into custody right there at roadside, maybe for months or longer depending on the terms of your probation.

thanks, im actually sleeping on my friends couch for the time being (hopefully until i can join the military.)

its funny you mention that, because about 3 months ago i got pulled over by a state trooper, with my suspended liscense, and he let me go I GOT VERY LUCKY, but was only driving because i was trying to find a job, regardless it was still retarded on my behalf.

but i am trying to turn my life around, but am coming to realize, it will most likely and unfortunateley take me years, because i have nothing, and no one to help at all, but am praying it will work out for the best.

i just really hope i can get in to the navy/airforce, and actually get an education and work experience, it would be the best thing that could happen to me i think. i dream about the day where i can go back to school

Riley
02-01-2011, 11:14 PM
Positive energy attracts positive outcomes.
Don't allow your mind to dwell on how bad it has been...
focus on what good can happen in the present and the future.

Be conscious and aware...
be a good friend...
be the person you want to become.

Within reason... we create our own reality.
Shape your own future... with good choices.
Avoid the negativity of others around you.

Sincere best wishes for you, bro.