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DenverBrit
07-24-2010, 08:38 PM
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to

take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or

changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the

subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an a-hole.

3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until

you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows

little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of

getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the

person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these

really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things

that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when

they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after

you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into

your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in

the fruit you're eating.


The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to

its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate

meanings for common words. And the winners are:



1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Popps
07-25-2010, 10:02 AM
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until

you realize it was your money to start with.

Awesome.

Captain 'Dre
07-25-2010, 10:29 AM
Here's one they missed--

Deafecate: (n) To poop inaudibly.

Mr.Meanie
07-25-2010, 11:10 AM
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.


:spit: :notworthy

Miss I.
07-25-2010, 11:23 AM
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

These two I am guilty of a bit too frequently and sometimes at the same time.

DenverBrit
07-25-2010, 11:33 AM
While trying to find the original Washington Post source, I discovered that there isn't one.

This wordplay list has been floating around since at least 2006, but I have no idea where it came from originally.

Doesn't make them any less funny or clever........and in some cases, appear to be written with the 'Mane' in mind. ;D

Captain 'Dre
07-26-2010, 06:52 AM
poopdeck (n) A set of playing cards designated for use in the bathroom.

Captain 'Dre
07-26-2010, 06:54 AM
pinnochle - The result of faulty aim while urinating

Captain 'Dre
07-26-2010, 06:56 AM
horrendous: sodomy performed with a professional

Captain 'Dre
07-26-2010, 11:52 AM
estrange (v) Someone-a whosa vera peculia.

broncosteven
07-26-2010, 12:07 PM
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an a-hole.

bronco militia
07-26-2010, 01:03 PM
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

LOL!

bronco militia
07-26-2010, 01:11 PM
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

These two I am guilty of a bit too frequently and sometimes at the same time.

pics or it didn't happen ;D

Miss I.
07-26-2010, 01:35 PM
pics or it didn't happen ;D

how about a video? ;D

<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HGLxJRq-jIY&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?color1=0xcc2550&amp;color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HGLxJRq-jIY&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?color1=0xcc2550&amp;color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

bronco militia
07-26-2010, 01:37 PM
how about a video? ;D

<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HGLxJRq-jIY&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?color1=0xcc2550&amp;color2=0xe87a9f"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HGLxJRq-jIY&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?color1=0xcc2550&amp;color2=0xe87a9f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

:gimme:

Captain 'Dre
07-26-2010, 04:35 PM
pork loin (n) sexual intercourse

Captain 'Dre
07-26-2010, 06:18 PM
scuttlebutt (n) Surgery for the purpose of completely revamping one's derriere.

DenverBrit
07-26-2010, 06:31 PM
You're on a roll, Captain. :thumbsup:

Captain 'Dre
07-26-2010, 08:08 PM
You're on a roll, Captain. :thumbsup:

Ha!

fiduciary - Using 'Summer's Eve' on one's pet dog

Captain 'Dre
07-26-2010, 08:11 PM
bombast - the use of explosives by one born to unmarried parents

Captain 'Dre
07-26-2010, 08:13 PM
upheaval - to vomit

broncocalijohn
07-27-2010, 02:27 AM
Masterwaiting: What a wife does in the bedroom as she kills time for her husband to come home from a long business trip.

broncocalijohn
07-27-2010, 02:29 AM
senvelope: Where you put your money for the Sunday basket when you are trying to pay for your wrongs.

Captain 'Dre
07-27-2010, 07:00 AM
oxymoron (n) A person who shills cleaning products in infomercials.

Captain 'Dre
07-27-2010, 02:15 PM
bamboozle - The act of shooting oneself while drunk.

sisterhellfyre
07-27-2010, 03:22 PM
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

These two I am guilty of a bit too frequently and sometimes at the same time.

There must be a story behind that statement, Miss I. :-)

Captain 'Dre
07-28-2010, 04:48 AM
happiness - The emotional state of a man who's very pleased with his sex organ.

Miss I.
07-28-2010, 08:36 AM
There must be a story behind that statement, Miss I. :-)

or at least a few very confused delivery guys. ;D

Captain 'Dre
07-28-2010, 10:38 AM
But seriously, folks...

I'll be here all week! Be sure to tip the waitresses! Ha!

Captain 'Dre
07-28-2010, 10:43 AM
I mean, seriously! Gimme a break!

Doesn't anybody here have more than, like... you know... a GED or something? Ha!

Evidently, the OP list of words isn't even actually a product of Mensa... just falsely attributed to them. This is not some unattainable challenge!

So let's step up, gentlemen! (no disrespect meant twd women....)

Twist a word! Turn a phrase!

But for God's sake do SOMETHING! Ha! ;D Ha!

Rohirrim
07-28-2010, 10:47 AM
discomboobulate - The discomfort the average male experiences upon being introduced to Christina Hendricks.

Captain 'Dre
06-10-2011, 06:52 AM
Vulva (n): A female Volvo

Captain 'Dre
06-10-2011, 06:54 AM
Marijuana (n): The appropriate action to take after knocking Juana up.

Requiem
06-10-2011, 07:18 AM
Karenin - Full-on ret@rd

Dr. Broncenstein
06-10-2011, 07:47 AM
Tump -- verb: The rotation of a loaded canoe about the long axis causing an unexpected and undesired evacuation of its contents into a moving body of water.

Pony Boy
06-10-2011, 07:59 AM
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

These two I am guilty of a bit too frequently and sometimes at the same time.

That explains why they don't call it Womensa

Captain 'Dre
06-10-2011, 04:07 PM
trampoline (n) A diet designed specifically for floozies.

sisterhellfyre
06-10-2011, 04:19 PM
Harry Houndini (proper noun): that damn long-haired mutt that keeps escaping your yard, no matter what you do.

broncocalijohn
06-10-2011, 04:20 PM
Ok, got this one while driving down the road
Dehyrant: the act of having 10 gallons of water shot at your mouth due to the extreme need of thirst.

Mecklomaniac
06-10-2011, 09:01 PM
happiness - The emotional state of a man who's very pleased with his sex organ.

We've got a Weiner

DivineLegion
06-10-2011, 09:33 PM
Menstation: A place for men to go once a month while their wive/girlfriends are menstrating.

McDman
06-10-2011, 10:38 PM
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

These two I am guilty of a bit too frequently and sometimes at the same time.

I may be knocking on your door soon!

Captain 'Dre
06-15-2011, 07:24 AM
bigotry - (n) A vera, vera talla tree.

alkemical
06-15-2011, 07:56 AM
happiness - The emotional state of a man who's very pleased with his sex organ.

This was on Beavis & Butthead!


R.E.M., Shiny Happy People

Butt-head: (Scoffs) Happiness.
Beavis: Um...you said penis. I just thought I'd tell you that.
Butt-head: I know! Why do you think they call it happiness?
Beavis: Oh yeah! Because when you're weiner's happy, you're happy.

Captain 'Dre
06-15-2011, 06:58 PM
maniac (n) An individual with an irrational enthisiasm for The Orange Mane.

Captain 'Dre
01-15-2012, 05:59 PM
estrogen (n)-- Essa what you calla wonna those guys who goes-a to USC.

Captain 'Dre
03-24-2012, 04:24 PM
collar (v): What you do the next day after the first time you sleep with a woman.

Captain 'Dre
03-24-2012, 04:27 PM
sloppy (n): a salad made from cabbage and urine.

Captain 'Dre
03-24-2012, 04:30 PM
A.D. (n) A 21 Step self help program for people with dyslexia.

Captain 'Dre
03-24-2012, 04:32 PM
dumper (v) What you do when your girlfriend turns into a total nag.

Captain 'Dre
03-24-2012, 04:35 PM
dumpster (n) A guy who makes a habit of breaking up with women.

Captain 'Dre
03-24-2012, 04:37 PM
igneous (n) Someone who's dumb as a rock.

chadta
03-24-2012, 05:13 PM
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

These two I am guilty of a bit too frequently and sometimes at the same time.

ive seen pronos that started like that

Captain 'Dre
03-31-2012, 08:40 AM
inscrutable - (n) Someone who's impossible to have sex with.

Captain 'Dre
04-03-2012, 09:03 AM
discombobulate (v) - To insult Bob for being tardy.

bendog
04-03-2012, 09:09 AM
conjugate, a date with a woman of over-infalted psudo-intellectual tendecies that cause her to be unable to STFU and have sex!

Captain 'Dre
04-03-2012, 09:28 AM
idiocracy - (n) A government run by politicians with IQ's lower than 25.

Captain 'Dre
04-03-2012, 09:29 AM
flamingo - (v) going off on somebody because you don't like the terminology they use.

bendog
04-03-2012, 09:29 AM
putative - (n) female whore with anger issues.

Captain 'Dre
04-03-2012, 09:41 AM
extrovert - (n) More perverted than most.

bendog
04-03-2012, 09:56 AM
infatuated (adj) too fat to be able to do anymore than hope for nude pics of Jesse James

Captain 'Dre
04-07-2012, 11:49 AM
infidel (n) A guy who has butt sex with Cuban dictators.

Captain 'Dre
04-07-2012, 11:50 AM
gasohol (n) A substance that gets you drunk and makes you fart.

Captain 'Dre
04-07-2012, 11:52 AM
pugalist (n) A person who keeps a roster of everyone he knows that stinks.

Captain 'Dre
04-07-2012, 11:55 AM
untenable (n) A person who's so dumb they can't count past nine.

Captain 'Dre
07-14-2012, 07:40 AM
eviscerate (v): To viscerate someone on-line.

Captain 'Dre
07-14-2012, 07:42 AM
proboscis (n): one who is greatly in favor of smooching with his/her employer.

Captain 'Dre
07-14-2012, 07:44 AM
psychophant (n): a large circus animal that has lost its mind.

Captain 'Dre
07-14-2012, 07:45 AM
pew (n): the bench one sits on in a church that smells bad.

Captain 'Dre
07-14-2012, 07:47 AM
astronaut (n): an athlete who absolutely ISN'T a star.

Captain 'Dre
07-14-2012, 07:51 AM
frankinscence (v): to infuriate a monster

Captain 'Dre
07-14-2012, 07:53 AM
lobotomy (n): a rare medical condition in which the person's ass hangs down to the knees.

Captain 'Dre
07-15-2012, 07:29 AM
spazmodic (n): A condition in which the editors of internet forums go berserk.

Kaylore
07-15-2012, 07:55 AM
Debutante: The first in a series of mocks and scorns.

Captain 'Dre
07-16-2012, 09:09 AM
extricate (n): a man whose wife and girlfriend are both named 'Kate'.

Beantown Bronco
07-16-2012, 09:13 AM
Some of you mensa candidates need to read the instructions again:

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Captain 'Dre
07-16-2012, 09:20 AM
Some of you mensa candidates need to read the instructions again:

I suppose you could change your screen name to "Buzz Kill" or "Party Pooper". :)

baja
07-16-2012, 09:37 AM
idiocracy - (n) A government run by politicians with IQ's lower than 25.

They made a move about this by the same name. ;D

Captain 'Dre
07-16-2012, 10:26 AM
Some of you mensa candidates need to read the instructions again:

Very well, then.

prognostigate (v): the ability to accurately predict which player will be shown the door.

Captain 'Dre
07-16-2012, 10:29 AM
lispsynch (n): acting the part of singing tunes made popular by Freddie Mercury and Ricky Martin.

Captain 'Dre
07-16-2012, 10:32 AM
prognostibate (n): being able to accurately predict when you'll have sufficient privacy to jerk off.

Captain 'Dre
07-16-2012, 05:14 PM
mucsic (n): The melodic sound created when coughing up phlegm.