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Vegas_Bronco
07-22-2010, 05:48 PM
Okay, so I need some creative minds to come together for a noble purpose protecting the good old American Value System!!!

I must admit that some of the most creative material I've read has come from the OMane...and I'm looking to have some fun with this! You guys are pretty damn creative and I just want to maximize this opportunity to put a ridiculous amount of effort into a small issue just to make an 'honor code' value lesson for one particular resident of Huntington, CA (most likely a dirty Raiders fan).

Here is the situation....My wife asked me to sell some of her old toys from her childhood....5 dolls (Gem and the Holograms...all original) that were sold in 'used' condition on Ebay. Well, after a few days, the bids were rolling in on these Original Gangsters in their original threads and the final bid was $42.02. Pretty cool...dolls for money! As is typical with Ebay transaction, the buyer paid for the items on time.

Then the sheeeet hit the fan....the buyer 3 days later opens up a case against me stating that the items had "three times the damage as described". My wife and I are honest people and per Ebay policy were forced to accept the items back for the entire refund. So we've been waiting for 5 ladies to come back as they were sent.

Low and behold we received a nasty looking package today from the buyer. I put gloves on and opened it up, inside the box were 3 dolls that had their heads off, hands removed, marked up like Raiderfan's girlfriend with cheap magic marker all over their breasts and bodies....and all kinds of damage. (I have placed broken hands over certain areas to make this SFW :thumbsup:). No, I am not a pimp, and this is not prostitution ring I am running...but someone done left my girls in the gutter and I'm missing 2 of them!!!

Let me just say I am going to kick some azzz....Oh, this is much more than a 'doll' issue for me and my wife. I'm looking for suggestions from the best minds in the game....It's time to get dirty men. I've included a few photos just for eye candy purposes and to sustain your attention in the thread. :wiggle: Please mod's if these photos are not suitable for viewers...do your thing w/out the ban as I'm pretty unstable right now....:rofl:



PS -

My wife was more than descriptive with the items stating:

"Video, Danse, Stormer, Pizazz, & Clash! These dolls are all in played with condition, but still have a lot to offer! All are in their original costumes (minus Pizazz's knee sock) and have their original instruments. Pizazz (bright yellow hair) & Clash (purple hair) are in great condition with all joints in order, etc. Danse (rainbow hair) & Video (dark yellow hair) each have 1 hand that has been reattached and elbows that no longer hold position, as does Stormer (blue hair), who has a 1 " cut on her left arm. I was going to glue it (easy to do), but opted not to, in case someone one out there was looking to replace the elbow joint. The dolls are well-loved, but have lots of enjoyment left in them!!!"

JCMElway
07-22-2010, 06:01 PM
Possibly the oddest thread not started by Mock I have ever seen on the Mane........

baja
07-22-2010, 06:02 PM
Do you have his address?

watermock
07-22-2010, 06:29 PM
Try Craigslist.

Some slob parayed his free cellphone into a Porshe.

Vegas_Bronco
07-22-2010, 06:39 PM
Do you have his address?

sent the pkg to:

xxxx xxxxx xxx xxx x
xxx xxxxxxxx xx xxxxx

received trashed pkg today from:

xxxx xxxxxx xxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxx xx xxxxx

and I have an email address.

LOL @ Mock. I can't say he didn't enter my mind as I posted this.

baja
07-22-2010, 07:22 PM
Well you should delete his addy because that is grounds for a ban.

Having said that I can think of several pay backs via the mail. If you do that be sure to use a false return address and do not use the US mail as you can get in trouble for that. Use instead FedEx of some simular carrier. For example you could send him a fresh pile of dog shiit in a Tupper Ware container. you could even put a spring under a square of thin ply wood and put the Dog doo on top of the board and carefully place a few sticks between the poo laiden plywood and the top of the clamped tupper ware container so when he opens it he will have a poo pie in the face.

Of fill it with cockroches or send a snake. You get the idea....

baja
07-22-2010, 07:24 PM
You could sing up for gay pron and use his email addy

With the info you have it is endless

baja
07-22-2010, 07:28 PM
Here's a good one. You know his name and email addy so make a new account with his name and advertize the dolls you got back from him on Ebay, use a simular discreption as you did when you placed the add orginally and when you have a taker send the dolls to the new buyer in the condition he returned them to you using his return address and his correct email.

To do this create an email account just like his only insert a peroid somewhere then create an ebay account with the new mimicing addy.

Knowing the Mane there should be many good ones coming as you assumed.

OABB
07-22-2010, 07:46 PM
I think the poo bomb wins. What a great idea. Baja, what's your address?

Los Broncos
07-22-2010, 07:48 PM
Send him a dead fish.

baja
07-22-2010, 08:21 PM
Send him a dead fish.


...and put the severed dolls head in the mouth of the fish

Los Broncos
07-22-2010, 08:31 PM
...and put the severed dolls head in the mouth of the fish

With the hair of the doll on the fish head.

Taco John
07-22-2010, 08:43 PM
I'd file a complaint against the buyer, let it slide and figure I'm out $42 bucks. Anything you do is just going to end up causing you more headache in the long run. You have their address, they have yours. This can't end up good.

TheReverend
07-22-2010, 08:51 PM
What I'd do if I were you and were bored:

Hire a team of the areas finest escorts to dress up exactly like real life versions of the Gem dolls, have them sex with the husband and take pics, send pics to wife, kids, place of employment etc.

What I'd do if I were you and were busy:

Put his info on 4 chan and let the pros ruin his life.

bronco militia
07-22-2010, 09:02 PM
What I'd do if I were you and were bored:

Hire a team of the areas finest escorts to dress up exactly like real life versions of the Gem dolls, have them sex with the husband and take pics, send pics to wife, kids, place of employment etc.

What I'd do if I were you and were busy:

Put his info on 4 chan and let the pros ruin his life.

LOL.....the assholes at 4-chan probably did this

Lev Vyvanse
07-22-2010, 09:11 PM
What I'd do if I were you and were bored:

Hire a team of the areas finest escorts to dress up exactly like real life versions of the Gem dolls, have them sex with the husband and take pics, send pics to wife, kids, place of employment etc.

What I'd do if I were you and were busy:

Put his info on 4 chan and let the pros ruin his life.

If Vegas Bronco gets on 4chan and tells them someone ripoff my Barbies. I'd say he has a better chance of getting his life ruined then getting revenge.

Requiem
07-22-2010, 09:23 PM
Now I have their addresses. Leave the work to me Vegas!

loborugger
07-22-2010, 10:24 PM
I didnt feel like reading the whole post. I surmise Bob is somehow involved?

Kaylore
07-22-2010, 10:50 PM
This reminds me of season 1 of Dexter.

GreeleyGrizzley
07-22-2010, 10:54 PM
How 'bout this...

Start by throwing a shovel and two trash bags in your trunk. Then take a trip to the nearest gas station.

Buy a 3-pack of those car air fresheners - you know, the miniature colorful pine trees. I like the Orange ones, but New Car, Strawberry, hell, any will do.

Now, take a Sharpie and write "1 of 2" on one of the little pine trees. Hang that bad boy from your rear view mirror. Give the second one to your wife. It's a gift, cause you were thinking of her. Now, take the third air freshener, (keeping it wrapped) and write "2 of 2" on it and chuck it in your trunk with the shovel and trash bags.

Now, forget about this little errand, but keep the ebay a-hole just in the back of your mind (he'll probably forget about you, or be too busy screwing another seller to care), and go on with your life...until that air freshener loses its freshness. You'll see the "1 of 2" and wonder why that's written on there. Then you'll remember. Now it's go time.

Head out for a drive, preferably a long one out past the city limits. Invite the wifey. Keep your eyes open for a fine specimen of roadkill (a raccoon, possum or armadillo will do just fine.) Pull over, as to not make a scene, and scoop up said varmint and place it in one of those trash bags from the trunk. Then double bag it. That should keep the rotting rodent contained until you return home. Now, box it up and toss that "1 of 2" pine tree tag in the box, tape it up, and go straight to FedEx or UPS and ask for the cheapest, slowest shipping rate. You want this thing to take a week in transit at the very least. Provide an inaccurate return address, per baja's advice, and ship it.

When you get back out to the car, grab that "2 of 2" air freshener and slide it over your mirror. In about a week you'll be ready to send package number two...and "number two" is exactly what it will be...

Tombstone RJ
07-22-2010, 11:39 PM
You advertised the items on ebay right? Which means ebay has a photo record or the items before they were sold, correct? I'd call an ebay rep and explain the situation (get a live person on the phone and get their name), then send the pics of the returned items to said ebay rep and file a formal complaint against the buyer.

I seriously doubt you're the first sellers this has happened to and I bet ebay has a policy for this type of thing...

Mr.Meanie
07-23-2010, 08:51 AM
Possibly the best thread of the offseason?

Dr. Broncenstein
07-23-2010, 09:17 AM
Now I have their addresses. Leave the work to me Vegas!

The fury of the internet toughguy. Release it.

bfoflcommish
07-23-2010, 09:18 AM
How 'bout this...

Start by throwing a shovel and two trash bags in your trunk. Then take a trip to the nearest gas station.

Buy a 3-pack of those car air fresheners - you know, the miniature colorful pine trees. I like the Orange ones, but New Car, Strawberry, hell, any will do.

Now, take a Sharpie and write "1 of 2" on one of the little pine trees. Hang that bad boy from your rear view mirror. Give the second one to your wife. It's a gift, cause you were thinking of her. Now, take the third air freshener, (keeping it wrapped) and write "2 of 2" on it and chuck it in your trunk with the shovel and trash bags.

Now, forget about this little errand, but keep the ebay a-hole just in the back of your mind (he'll probably forget about you, or be too busy screwing another seller to care), and go on with your life...until that air freshener loses its freshness. You'll see the "1 of 2" and wonder why that's written on there. Then you'll remember. Now it's go time.

Head out for a drive, preferably a long one out past the city limits. Invite the wifey. Keep your eyes open for a fine specimen of roadkill (a raccoon, possum or armadillo will do just fine.) Pull over, as to not make a scene, and scoop up said varmint and place it in one of those trash bags from the trunk. Then double bag it. That should keep the rotting rodent contained until you return home. Now, box it up and toss that "1 of 2" pine tree tag in the box, tape it up, and go straight to FedEx or UPS and ask for the cheapest, slowest shipping rate. You want this thing to take a week in transit at the very least. Provide an inaccurate return address, per baja's advice, and ship it.

When you get back out to the car, grab that "2 of 2" air freshener and slide it over your mirror. In about a week you'll be ready to send package number two...and "number two" is exactly what it will be...

/endthread

Dr. Broncenstein
07-23-2010, 09:24 AM
How 'bout this...

Start by throwing a shovel and two trash bags in your trunk. Then take a trip to the nearest gas station.

Buy a 3-pack of those car air fresheners - you know, the miniature colorful pine trees. I like the Orange ones, but New Car, Strawberry, hell, any will do.

Now, take a Sharpie and write "1 of 2" on one of the little pine trees. Hang that bad boy from your rear view mirror. Give the second one to your wife. It's a gift, cause you were thinking of her. Now, take the third air freshener, (keeping it wrapped) and write "2 of 2" on it and chuck it in your trunk with the shovel and trash bags.

Now, forget about this little errand, but keep the ebay a-hole just in the back of your mind (he'll probably forget about you, or be too busy screwing another seller to care), and go on with your life...until that air freshener loses its freshness. You'll see the "1 of 2" and wonder why that's written on there. Then you'll remember. Now it's go time.

Head out for a drive, preferably a long one out past the city limits. Invite the wifey. Keep your eyes open for a fine specimen of roadkill (a raccoon, possum or armadillo will do just fine.) Pull over, as to not make a scene, and scoop up said varmint and place it in one of those trash bags from the trunk. Then double bag it. That should keep the rotting rodent contained until you return home. Now, box it up and toss that "1 of 2" pine tree tag in the box, tape it up, and go straight to FedEx or UPS and ask for the cheapest, slowest shipping rate. You want this thing to take a week in transit at the very least. Provide an inaccurate return address, per baja's advice, and ship it.

When you get back out to the car, grab that "2 of 2" air freshener and slide it over your mirror. In about a week you'll be ready to send package number two...and "number two" is exactly what it will be...

... and remember when you are getting your shiat pushed in during your subsequent jail sentence, you are getting assraped over some GD barbie dolls. That will be good for a lifetime of lulz.

dbfan21
07-23-2010, 09:39 AM
I can't stop laughing!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

missingnumber7
07-23-2010, 10:48 AM
I love OMane advice threads...always a goldmine...always.

Irish Stout
07-23-2010, 11:20 AM
Awesome!

Miss I.
07-23-2010, 11:28 AM
<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350" data="http://i.adultswim.com/adultswim/video2/tools/swf/viralplayer.swf"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="movie" value="http://i.adultswim.com/adultswim/video2/tools/swf/viralplayer.swf"/><param name="FlashVars" value="id=8a25c39215b8f3910115b9033bb7002f" /><embed src="http://i.adultswim.com/adultswim/video2/tools/swf/viralplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" FlashVars="id=8a25c39215b8f3910115b9033bb7002f" allowFullScreen="true" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

Rabb
07-23-2010, 11:33 AM
Post #20 is one of the funniest things I have ever read on here

It's a gift, cause you were thinking of her.

still has me giggling

UberBroncoMan
07-23-2010, 03:24 PM
I'd wait half a year or so - maybe even a full year, so he's completely forgotten about you. Then seriously **** with him.

Use Skype and order pizza and other crap to his home. Skype calls via PC always give you a 1234567 phone number. You could use order it in from a free WiFi spot on an account made from that IP if you want to be super safe.

Majik
07-23-2010, 05:39 PM
... and remember when you are getting your shiat pushed in during your subsequent jail sentence, you are getting assraped over some GD barbie dolls. That will be good for a lifetime of lulz.

:rofl:

Chris
07-23-2010, 06:02 PM
http://image60.webshots.com/60/5/76/69/2576576690080423822nhPPdt_ph.jpg

You know what that is don't you? Stinky tofu!

Vegas_Bronco
07-25-2010, 10:39 AM
How 'bout this...

Start by throwing a shovel and two trash bags in your trunk. Then take a trip to the nearest gas station.

Buy a 3-pack of those car air fresheners - you know, the miniature colorful pine trees. I like the Orange ones, but New Car, Strawberry, hell, any will do.

Now, take a Sharpie and write "1 of 2" on one of the little pine trees. Hang that bad boy from your rear view mirror. Give the second one to your wife. It's a gift, cause you were thinking of her. Now, take the third air freshener, (keeping it wrapped) and write "2 of 2" on it and chuck it in your trunk with the shovel and trash bags.

Now, forget about this little errand, but keep the ebay a-hole just in the back of your mind (he'll probably forget about you, or be too busy screwing another seller to care), and go on with your life...until that air freshener loses its freshness. You'll see the "1 of 2" and wonder why that's written on there. Then you'll remember. Now it's go time.

Head out for a drive, preferably a long one out past the city limits. Invite the wifey. Keep your eyes open for a fine specimen of roadkill (a raccoon, possum or armadillo will do just fine.) Pull over, as to not make a scene, and scoop up said varmint and place it in one of those trash bags from the trunk. Then double bag it. That should keep the rotting rodent contained until you return home. Now, box it up and toss that "1 of 2" pine tree tag in the box, tape it up, and go straight to FedEx or UPS and ask for the cheapest, slowest shipping rate. You want this thing to take a week in transit at the very least. Provide an inaccurate return address, per baja's advice, and ship it.

When you get back out to the car, grab that "2 of 2" air freshener and slide it over your mirror. In about a week you'll be ready to send package number two...and "number two" is exactly what it will be...


Greeley,

This is absolute genious material!

Just wanted to let everyone know that Ebay has taken funds from the buyer and reimbursed our account. They consider this fraud and typically file it at the State level...just to give you all 'peace of mind' in using Ebay. So, although many of your suggestions were highly considered, I just wanted to let everyone know that the issue has been resolved successfully.

This thread was only created for offseason entertainment purposes, btw. For all those who had to pull out the neg rep button, looooosen up a bit and learn to laugh at the challenges life presents.

I spoke with the wife and we would like to make a donation to the Orangemane for the great entertainment provided in the name of GreeleyGrizz for giving us all a great laugh and really putting in some good effort into this response.

GreeleyGrizzley
07-25-2010, 02:05 PM
Thank you. My privilege. ;)

Glad I could provide a good laugh, and most of all, that everything was resolved.